Dear Mr. Marmite,
I’m just popping this message here to voice my one and only complaint I have with your otherwise perfect product: The lack of gold in your Marmite Gold. From the pictures and the way people were talking, I was foolishly led to believe there was real Gold in them there Marmites and so I feverishly snatched up three tubs of the golden goodness around Christmas time, when I stumbled upon it in ASDA at a bargain price of about £4.00
Believe me when I say I’d never normally get rid of your amazing product once I had it but in January I felt the pinch quite hard. Don’t feel bad, I’m pretty sure it’s not the pots of Marmite which caused me to consider one of those high rate loans from Wonga - more likely the amount I spent on friends and family members with their lavish gifts of gadgets and games. Anyway, I did what any self respecting person would do - I boxed up, neatly with bubble wrap and everything, one of your tubs of Marmite Gold and shipped it, recorded delivery, to one of those Cash for Gold companies.
Weeks passed and I continued to hassle them before I eventually heard back.
They informed me, on the phone - a nice man named Barry - that, unfortunately, Marmite Gold doesn’t contain any real Gold and, therefore, they’re unable to offer me any money as their advert had promised.
With that in mind I am still broke.
I am also down a pot of Marmite.
Any chance, out of pity, you could at least send me a replacement? It wouldn’t even have to be the Gold. I’m just feeling a little hard done by.
Kind Regards and the fondest of sincerity,
Matt Shaw
Contains No Real Gold!

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