Lessons from Writing a Memoir
I'm not fond of the word, 'lovely'. It's an in between word, which means that when a colleague said my writing was 'lovely' I went 'urgh, that's not a good comment.' Closely followed by, 'what have I missed out?'
When I wrote my memoir, Coming to my Senses, the clue was in the sub-title: finding my voice through ovarian cancer. I sweated years to dig far enough into my spectrum of pain and suffering to find the voice to speak my truth. And I thought, phew, that's it! I'm done, I've found my voice. Now I can relax because the writing will be easy from now on. Girl, was I mistaken.
Here's the thing: finding your voice is not always a one stop destination. It's that dreaded thing called A PROCESS!
If I was going to move my writing beyond lovely, and make it a colour my goddaughter calls 'mango moon', then I had some more excavating to do.
Here's how I started:
1. Jotted down words and sentences that 'came to me' in unusual places, i.e.. not my writing desk nor my Soul Studio, more likely the shower ... yes, that's right. Turns out that running water is a conduit for soulful ideas to pour out of one. Who knew.
2. Listened carefully. This was a toughie because in order to listen more carefully (note how I thought I was already good at this one!), I had to turn down the noise of my busyness. I thought all my work was worthy, but some of it was filling in those moments of silence I had started to dread ...
3. Used writing prompts. This is a Natalie Goldberg favourite, a way to energise and encourage the writing bones onto the page. Some years ago I had created a small deck of writing prompts (shared below) on the back of my smaller paintings. These weren't prettified, the prompts were stuck in the middle of the smudged paint which was a message to my sub-conscious to get the hell out of my perfectionist zone!
4. Attended to my weirdness. Often I see things: advertisements, posters, photographs that prompt weird interpretations, and I am sorry to say that dismissing them had become a habit. This meant carrying my Tiny Notebook for All Things Weird with me at ALL times, and jotting these observations down. For example, hearing an ad about Boots offering skin colour testing for foundations led to an idea for a blog post about intuition ... stay with me!
5. Acknowledged my need for MORE ... more writing, more feedback, more companionship, more community. I buddied up with a writing pal, Judy Rich to ensure that I didn't slip back into addictive habits instead of ... writing! We speak twice a month, and those dates in my diary keep me accountable for creating my own writing results. I'm clearer about book 2 - who it's for, and why which means that I am connected to the book's soul path, which means I am more likely to want to write about it!
6. Started guest blogging for Lisa Cherry which pushed me out of my comfy nest and made me question my writing - who did I want to reach?, what did I have to say to others?
7. Committed to my process - this was the big one. No matter how many great movies, plays and dramas I watched, they weren't mine, and the envy I felt about that was slowly destroying my creative spark. I was sinking into a pity party, and smothering my embryonic outlines for more books, paintings, articles, etc, etc. So, I stood up and said, 'I'm a writer first and foremost, and writers write! That was huge!
My writing prompts:
When I wrote my memoir, Coming to my Senses, the clue was in the sub-title: finding my voice through ovarian cancer. I sweated years to dig far enough into my spectrum of pain and suffering to find the voice to speak my truth. And I thought, phew, that's it! I'm done, I've found my voice. Now I can relax because the writing will be easy from now on. Girl, was I mistaken.
Here's the thing: finding your voice is not always a one stop destination. It's that dreaded thing called A PROCESS!
If I was going to move my writing beyond lovely, and make it a colour my goddaughter calls 'mango moon', then I had some more excavating to do.
Here's how I started:
1. Jotted down words and sentences that 'came to me' in unusual places, i.e.. not my writing desk nor my Soul Studio, more likely the shower ... yes, that's right. Turns out that running water is a conduit for soulful ideas to pour out of one. Who knew.
2. Listened carefully. This was a toughie because in order to listen more carefully (note how I thought I was already good at this one!), I had to turn down the noise of my busyness. I thought all my work was worthy, but some of it was filling in those moments of silence I had started to dread ...
3. Used writing prompts. This is a Natalie Goldberg favourite, a way to energise and encourage the writing bones onto the page. Some years ago I had created a small deck of writing prompts (shared below) on the back of my smaller paintings. These weren't prettified, the prompts were stuck in the middle of the smudged paint which was a message to my sub-conscious to get the hell out of my perfectionist zone!
4. Attended to my weirdness. Often I see things: advertisements, posters, photographs that prompt weird interpretations, and I am sorry to say that dismissing them had become a habit. This meant carrying my Tiny Notebook for All Things Weird with me at ALL times, and jotting these observations down. For example, hearing an ad about Boots offering skin colour testing for foundations led to an idea for a blog post about intuition ... stay with me!
5. Acknowledged my need for MORE ... more writing, more feedback, more companionship, more community. I buddied up with a writing pal, Judy Rich to ensure that I didn't slip back into addictive habits instead of ... writing! We speak twice a month, and those dates in my diary keep me accountable for creating my own writing results. I'm clearer about book 2 - who it's for, and why which means that I am connected to the book's soul path, which means I am more likely to want to write about it!
6. Started guest blogging for Lisa Cherry which pushed me out of my comfy nest and made me question my writing - who did I want to reach?, what did I have to say to others?
7. Committed to my process - this was the big one. No matter how many great movies, plays and dramas I watched, they weren't mine, and the envy I felt about that was slowly destroying my creative spark. I was sinking into a pity party, and smothering my embryonic outlines for more books, paintings, articles, etc, etc. So, I stood up and said, 'I'm a writer first and foremost, and writers write! That was huge!
My writing prompts:
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