> Mind Blown

I know a lot of times when you’re told, “Take better care of yourself! Self Care! Self Care!” it can feel challenging or downright annoying. That’s why I spent this last month breaking down the baby steps to keep yourself front and center. Do little things, each day. You will get where you’re trying to go if you give your sweet self even a sliver of attention.


Now I just had to share a few success stories from my community to prove this point. And each of these mamas said that re-reading the stories made them smile because of how far they’d come in their own self care and personhood. (YES!)


The first two stories are ways mamas are navigating big experiences – medical and a move. The third story is an example of how practicing self care and empathy truly does trickle down to your kids. Enjoy!


*****


Today I was sitting in a outpatient surgical room waiting for the doctor to come to perform a minor surgery. Feeling a bit nervous, I took a deep breath and took a look around. Suddenly, I found myself appreciating the skilled doctor about to perform this surgery, the kind nurses that helped to prepare me, the calm music playing, the clean room, health insurance, and being able to take care of my health. The list goes on. A huge smile came to my face and then calmness. What a gift to have learned this skill. My heart is bursting with appreciation. Thank you Carrie Contey and Evolve community.  – C.R., an Evolve mama


*****


We moved a month and a half ago to a larger home, which we have been wanting for a long time, particularly when our third child came home. The homes in our old neighborhood had recently shot up in price, and a larger home in the same neighborhood was not in our budget. We moved from a very small house in a close-knit neighborhood to a larger house in a more aloof neighborhood.


It’s been a rocky transition for me, as I stay/work at home, and I’ve been feeling pretty lonely for my old street and all the hustle and bustle, and feeling sad for my kids, who haven’t found their new pack yet. So I’ve just been letting myself ride it out, letting myself feel sad, appreciating what I appreciate, crying when I need to cry.


Tonight, we stopped by the old neighborhood. At first, I really thought I wouldn’t be able to bear it, because I missed it so much. After spending a lovely few hours there, I began to long for the quiet and solitude of our new neighborhood. I was ready for some down-time and some privacy, of which there wasn’t much in our last neighborhood.


I also noticed our very, very, VERY social five year old was getting a little nutty. It’s almost like she couldn’t find a quiet space in herself and was just going more and more and more outward. When we got back home to our new house (20 minutes away), we all put our hands in the dirt, spreading compost over our new gardens, raking, tending to the land.  We had a quiet, organizing evening.


All this to say, even though there are moments when I feel like we’ve made this huge mistake, tonight was a time of the universe whispering to me, “It’s going to be okay. Relax. There’s a reason you’re here and you’ll learn, if you watch.” It felt really good. -C.A., an Evolve mama


*****


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A photo by Ales Krivec. unsplash.com/photos/hLxqYJspAkE


 


My two year old had the biggest meltdown she’s ever had tonight. 


My six year old (who has the daily meltdowns) brought her back online when I couldn’t.


It was nothing short of a miracle and one of the most difficult and most touching moments in my mommy-hood career.


The youngest was tired, crispy and had been having meltdown after meltdown. I was able to stay calm and centered, realizing she’s just where she’s at. And at some point, she got so mad. When nothing else worked I opted to allow her some time alone to emotionally dump.


The six year old asked if he could maybe try to calm her down. I said, “Sure – but be careful. She’s hitting and kicking right now. Don’t get hurt.”


He goes to her and says, “Sh, shh, shh. It’s ok. You’re going to be ok. I’m here now. I’ll take care of you. Can I rub your back? Do you want me to rub your back? You don’t need to be upset. It’s ok. What do you need? Do you want something….” And on and on he went. For over 5 min. He finally said, “Mommy, you can come in now.”


Later he went on to talk about how hard it is for kids to calm themselves in the middle of a meltdown. “That’s the worst part,” he says. “You’re sad and you don’t want to be sad anymore. It’s ok, you don’t need to be sad anymore”.


It was profoundly beautiful.


This would never have happened without Evolve. Thank you. This work is a game changer – for life!!! -A.S., an Evolve mama


 

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Published on August 29, 2016 22:12
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