There’s the seductive suggestion, the sensual question and the masterfully spoken command and the dirty confession. So what level do you like?
I’ve noticed while reading several romances that some of my favorite authors have mastered the levels of dirty talking. Authors like Jade West have gone to intricate levels of BDSM that include that masterfully spoken command. While authors like Lauren Blakely, one of my favorites by the way, have mastered all three.
So as I’m currently writing my second novel in the Sunset Reads series, I have indulged in researching what makes dirty talking- panty melting hot. I asked myself, is it the control you seek over another, is it the forbidden details spoken aloud, why is it so sexually arousing to hear your partner whisper dirty little words in your ear while administering to your needs?
But there are ways of dirty talking that can be elegant, so to say, and others that are downright wrong and really dirty. Some authors I’ve noticed are raunchy and hard in their explanations of sex scenes, but others have a way of easing you in and teasing you as a reader. Those are the writers who know what it means to make dirty talking sexy.
The Seductive Suggestion
The suggestion of doing something naughty with the one you love can be just plain sexy. A sexual suggestion consists of the following: What do you want to do to that person? Where do you want to do it? And when would you like to do it- the answer being pretty much “immediately”.
What do you want to do to that person? “I’d love to know what you taste like.” A confession of how much you want to be with them. Where do you want to do it? “My place is ten minutes away.” Hmmm…a little far, but you might make it. When do you want to do it? “I’d love to bend you over that desk and take you right here and now.” Now, doesn’t that sound enticing?
The seductive suggestion is the first part of a series of dirty talking that will melt every loin in your body. This leads to my next topic…
The Sensual Question
What is the sensual question? I’ll tell you right now that asking the person you’re with whether they like it hard or fast is actually pretty important. Asking questions to your partner will not only issue moans of orgasmic proportions, but it shows that you are interested in pleasing them. Voicing your answers will edge your partner on about whether or not you like what they’re doing to you. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner, it will only make your sex better ladies…and gentlemen of course.
So what is a sensual question? Well it entails the following: Do you like it? How can he/she make it better? Are you willing to play again? Questions such as: “Have you thought about me while you touch yourself, does this make you feel good, and are you wet for me?” These pretty much encompass what you’d like to hear answers to.
The Masterful Command
There’s something so arousing about having a man tell you what he wants from you. That hot demanding tone that is both safe yet brings you to your knees. The key word here being safe folks. A woman should always feel safe in order to relinquish her body to the person she loves. Some people have mastered it, while others need to work on it. Grabbing a woman by the hair and telling her to “suck it” isn’t really attractive, but when you tell her to get down on her knees and how much you want to see her lips wrapped around you, it makes a huge difference.
Having a command in your voice can be exciting depending on your partner, that’s why it’s so important to ask those questions. The command can be harsh or it can be soft, the whole point is that in the end it will provide the pleasure you seek. It should culminate in that climax you both want.
The Dirty Confession
Confessing to the one you like, or love, how much you want them is hot. Plain and simple. A person wants to hear how much they’re wanted, how much they’re longed for. Believe it or not, it’s a turn on when a man tells you he’s been hard for you since he first saw you. It’s like giving away a secret and letting you in on it. If you think about it, when a man tells you this he’s weakening his stance for you, handing you the power to say yes or walk away. Of course gentlemen, this is best said in the throes of passion and not when you just meet a woman. At that point you just get pervy. But telling the woman you love that she still turns you on is hot. Ladies, confessing your wants and needs is exhilarating to your partner. Telling your partner how much you’ve thought about him all day or how much you need them is both exciting and arousing. You’re letting them know that you spend your day thinking of them, that you miss them in more ways than one.
I’ve learned a lot from reading new authors and the way their fantasy men talk to their women. I have to admit that as an author it’s sometimes hard to get the right feeling for which level to use. It becomes a push and pull between you and the characters. Should he say this, what would she do if he commanded this, would this character even like this. You pick up a glass of wine and you indulge in fantasies and when you’re done, you then tweak and tweak until you have exactly the scene your characters desire. As an author you have to find that finesse when writing naughty words. They can’t sound rough or ratchet, they have to elicit an emotional response whether it be yearning or longing. How can you make this provocative, enticing and make your characters as well as your readers falls into a world filled with passion. Yes, dirty talking is sexy, but I think the secret comes in the heart. Ask yourself, how much love do you have for that person to completely get lost in their words, in their body, in their soul?
It’s funny, but being a dirty talker is harder than it seems. You either have the gift or you don’t, but if you’re working on it then I hope these tips will help.