Unfinished: A Personal Journey of Healing, Self-Discovery and Resilience

Change. It can be scary, can’t it? I like the familiar. I like knowing what to expect. I can resist it, fight it, complain about it but inevitably change is going to happen in spite of myself.

Last week, my husband and I visited one of our favorite get-away locations south of the border. Since I have been going there for the past 35 years, it contains a wealth of memories – many good but also those that remind me of painful and difficult chapters in my life. Nevertheless, they are important reminders that nothing stays the same. (Thank, God!)

This visit was yet another reminder. Establishments that have been permanent fixtures, we discovered, are changing: our favorite soup outlet is up for sale, the owner opting for retirement. Even our hotel that we have been guests at for the last 17 years, is undergoing renovations that change the dynamics of the familiar – all things that we have no control over.

Have you ever experienced times in your life where you want to put it on freeze-frame and keep circumstances exactly as they are? No more surprises, no more heartache, just smooth sailing every day. Nothing could be more tragic. Our fear of change can stymie us; prevent us from growing, evolving and discovering each of our own, unique purpose in life.

In April, we will be driving to the west coast (along with our dog!) and staying there for a month to check out areas that we might possibly re-locate to. Obviously, if we decide to do so, it would entail many major changes. But we have to ask ourselves – why not? We are tired of long winters and as we get older, even our bodies our requesting gentler conditions. It is only the fear of the unknown that gets in our heads, conjuring up all sorts of “what-ifs” and imaginary scenarios of disaster. However, “what if” turns out to be the best move of our life? I do know for sure: I do not want to live with the regret of thinking what could have been.

Everywhere we look, we see change: change in government, change in climate, change in relationships, change in our health, change in jobs. As long as we are breathing, the universe will influx changes in each of our lives – not to punish us but to challenge and encourage us to learn and grow. God only knows how often I have struggled, determined to control situations and outcomes, only to discover that I’m just not that powerful. Life will happen – just let it.

Alan W. Watts, a British philosopher once said: “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance.”