Maintaining Healthy Relationships While Doing Your Duty
Three out of four law enforcement officers’ romantic relationships end up failing. While 50 percent of marriages for the average American end in divorce, that number goes up to 60–75 percent for LEO marriages. LEOs’ failure at keeping their relationships healthy has been regarded by people as an occupational hazard. If you’re a law enforcement officer, you’ll see that these statistics don’t just show numbers. Instead, you see fellow officers who were hopeful in their relationships that sadly just didn’t work out. These numbers alarm every Law Enforcement officer, out there who desires to be successful in their relationships.
People who used to be romantically involved with LEOs cited various reasons their relationships went south. A lot of them called their former partners “too reserved,” “too controlling,” and “too unromantic.” If this sounds like you and you are in a committed relationship, you may want to consider changing it up a little.
Be transparent. People who used to be romantically involved with law enforcement officers point to LEOs’ reticence as the main reason as to why they severed their relationship. They felt that they were not part of their partner’s world. As for anyone in any relationship, an open line of communication is essential for law enforcement officers’ relationships to thrive. However, your job as a LEO can subject you to emotional isolation as it requires you to be cautious and be on guard all the time. This may result to the inability to communicate deeply to the other party or to anyone for that matter. So, being open or transparent may be a tad difficult for you. This is where your desire to maintain the relationship healthy comes in. You must exert conscious efforts to share with your partner and tell them how you feel. Try to get them feel more involved in your world by reaching out to them more. Know that between every successful couple is a healthy line of communication.
Learn to share control. Your training as a LEO may have wired you to be on top of everything, even when you’re off duty. However, if this trait intrudes in your relationship, you may be regarded by the other party as a control freak. This can suffocate them and make them feel that you lack faith in them to manage things. Learning to manage your need to control and trusting the other party to lead can improve your relationship as this shows that you have complete confidence in them. This, in return, also boosts their trust in you to take the lead in certain aspects of your relationship.
Honoring commitments. If you promised your partner that you’d take them to dinner, take them to dinner. If you promised a date on your next day off but can’t make it because duty suddenly decided to call, you must let them know and make them understand. Always try to spend as much time as you can with them. When you honor your commitments, you assure them of their place and significance in your life. This may also not come as easy as your job drains you physically, mentally, and spiritually, but time spent in the company of your special person can refresh and recharge you to continue to move. Your job as a law enforcement officer may be of high priority, but so are your relationships.
Of course, there are many other aspects to consider. These are just the general ones. Every relationship varies from the other. You should begin determining the areas in your relationship which needs immediate attention. Healthy self-awareness is the key in determining these. Ask yourself the right questions. Are you serious about your partner to fully commit to them? How can you better communicate to them? How can you deepen your relationship? It is always good to take a step back to assess yourself and your relationship with your partner.
Remember that when you strive to maintain a healthy relationship with your significant other, you don’t just end up with a mate, but with a life partner too!
Indeed, the life of a law enforcement officer is no walk in the park. I talk about all the sacrifices we make in my latest book, The Thin Blue Li(n)e, sequel to my first police thriller, Hands Across the Sea. Check it out! You may also want to follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads.
References
Wasilewski, Michael & Olson, Althea. “How Self-Awareness Can Improve a Police Officer’s personal relationship.” PoliceOne. January 5, 2017. Accessed June 19, 2017. https://www.policeone.com/health-fitness/articles/283118006-How-self-awareness-can-improve-a-police-officers-personal-relationship/.
Smith, Betsy Branter. “Surviving Your Relationships.” PoliceOne. August 14, 2007. Accessed June 19, 2017. https://www.policeone.com/health-fitness/articles/1331272-Surviving-your-relationships/.
Parker, Jonathan. “Why Marriage Should Matter More To Cops.” Law Officer. March 31, 2017. Accessed June 19, 2017. http://lawofficer.com/family/why-marriage-should-matter-more-to-cops/.
Khan, Fasil. “Law Enforcement Marriages.” PoliceOne. November 3, 2013. Accessed June 19, 2017. https://www.lawenforcementtoday.com/law-enforcement-marriages/.
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