This is not financial advice. But if you’re as ignorant as I am, especially when it comes to finance and investing, you’ll buy into it anyway.

So last week when the mass hysteria about investing in bitcoins penetrated my Facebook account, yours truly too caved into the “fear of missing out” phenomenon and jumped on the bandwagon. My monthly salary had just dropped in, and instead of putting the leftovers (money left after paying my rent, bills) into my Bank of America Savings account like a nice boy, I decided to burn some cash. Specifically, in a moment of uncontrollable lust, I downloaded the App Coinbase on my phone and purchased the cryptocurrency Ethereum worth $100.

Now, you may ask, why I purchased Ethereum instead of Bitcoin? What’s the difference between the two?

I wish I knew.

Rather, I wish I was able to understand. All I knew was that Ether was cheaper, had gotten better returns (~6,000%) over the year, and it sounded cooler. That’s it. That’s the level of understanding I have about blockchains and cryptocurrencies. And with this limited knowledge, if I can be tempted to burn my hard-earned money, it is likely that many others are doing the same. Which means, this phenomenon is indeed a bubble.

But before it bursts, it does offer a thrilling ride for anyone who chooses to ride it. On Nov. 30th when the price of bitcoin dropped from $11k to $9.5k, I knew it was not too bad of a time to invest, and that’s when I threw in my $100 bucks. Now, over the course of three days, I am seeing weird but exceptional returns on that investment because of the recent bull run. At the time of writing this post, my humble $100 have turned into $109, giving me a 9% return over the short span of 3 days. Comparing this to <0.1% that my savings account in Bank of America gives, that too over the long span of 365 days, these cryptocurrencies really turn me on. At least for now. Also, considering the potential for investors to conduct private (illegal? money laundering?) transactions that avoid borders, governments, and middle-men (like big banks), these currencies may provide further pleasure.

Allow me to inform you that I neither possess an MBA in finance nor a strong background in mathematics. But, if you’re tempted to go and burn some cash, feel free to use the following tips which have been shaped by my long and extensive experience (full 3 days) in dealing with cryptocurrencies:

1)      Choose an amount that you’re OKAY to burn. An amount your family won’t get mad at you for burning or an amount that you can easily hide from them.

2)      Try to hit “buy” when you think the prices are sliding down instead of creeping up. Monitor the trend for at least a full minute before you empty your wallet.

3)      Use a popular and trustworthy site for conducting this business. I’ve heard that Coinbase is the most popular, and if you use my invitation link, you get $10 bonus once you spend $101 or more. That is an immediate 10% return.

4)      Finally, if you lose money or your family gets mad at you because of this blog you’re legally entitled to blame everyone except me.