Children have to develop skills that allow them to build positive relationships.From the time they are born, children are social beings. The rapid growth of brain development includes the need to interact, experience, explore, develop and learn. The most important period for this skill set is from ages 0-5, before kindergarten begins. But because these skills are new, it is important to remember that the ability to make decisions and assess how to behave is still in its infancy and requires guidance.I was recently in the change room of a local pool when a kindergarten class came in for lessons. As the teachers and volunteers worked to get the children ready to swim, one little girl would not stop provoking and teasing others, specifically another girl her age. Most of us have witnessed children who actively seek opportunities to get attention – even if it is negative attention. This child had not yet learned how to consider the feelings of others.Often, such children are lacking the knowledge to navigate socially. In particular, children in Alberta are falling behind in this area compared to the rest of Canada. The first realization that something is amiss often comes in the form of having something to lose, such as a peer who states, “I am not going to be your friend anymore.”The term “social competence” broadly means equipping children with the ability to build positive human relationships. In the early years, this begins with direction on how to engage and enter play with others.Play offers give and take, conflict resolution and watching for cues that signal the emotional state of the group, a term known as perspective-taking. When a child is accepted into play, it leads to warm feelings of belonging and having something to offer. Behaviour will then begin to be shaped by the environment and become open to ongoing assistance from the teacher, once they enter school, and caregivers elsewhere.Three goals of social competence are:– Ability to control behaviour;– Follow simple rules and instructions;– Play and work with others respectfully and co-operatively.As a caregiver, you can be part of this process in the early years by:– Encouraging friendships. Initiate play dates with like-minded children;– Modelling compromising skills, for example, how to take turns and share;– Helping children learn to use their words to express what they’re feeling;– Showing children how to observe and join play without barging in.When you model social competence, children will begin to develop confidence in their ability to interact successfully and build meaningful relationships that will set them on a steady course for life.For more information about Lethbridge Early Years, visit http://www.lethbridgeearlyyears.ca or contact lethbridgeearlyyears@gmail.com