Nani puaji,
I'm sorry... I'm sorry things went the way they did... I'm sorry I failed you...
I have been told innumerable times the story of how you travelled to Italy to help mum look after me when, little more than a baby, I fell ill. What your motives might have been at the time I cannot know for certain, but I know you cared.
Why didn't I come to see you when I learnt you were unwell? I knew you were going to the hospital... I knew... I saw the change when you came to see us three weeks ago. I knew something was wrong when you didn't come to the wedding... And, deep down, I was waiting... Waiting for the call, the sudden message that something had happened... 
I knew something was wrong; yet, I stood by and did nothing. I did nothing because it was easier, more convenient... Yes, I asked for your new number, but I didn't persist... I let life carry on and relegated you to the back of my mind, a passing thought to be forgotten. 
Tell me, was anyone there for you? Was Bella the only one who truly, genuinely, cared? Had it not been for her barking, how long would it have taken for someone to find you? Tell me, will you come back? Or will you come to dwell in our memories only? I ask the questions despite knowing the answer... Life is no fairytale...  
And now, puaji, what happens next? ...Where do we go from here? ...Will you be moving next door, slipping into the next room? I sit in my room whilst you lie unconscious and alone in a hospital bed. We are losing you. There is no going back. No reversing time... And all that has happened up until now suddenly doesn't matter...

I think of your swollen hands and your hoarse breathing. In what world are you now? One we cannot reach... Not yet, anyways... Do you still have thoughts? Are you dreaming? Alone in that side room... 
You were not perfect, but neither am I. You had problems, it is true, but you were careful to not burden anyone with them. How easily we forgot that... We were so hard in our judgement... So quick to believe that you had caused your own troubles... And we dismissed you despite hearing your cry for help... Why? 
I failed you... All you needed was for someone to be there... I knew it then as I know it now and, yet, I did nothing.