HAPPY RELEASE DAY!
I can't believe I'm sitting here typing this but my debut poetry collection Water Runs Red is out now!! WHAT! (Also it's my mom's birthday so happy birthday Mom!!!)
It's been such a wild ride getting to this day that I haven't really fully processed everything yet. I thought I was spending the past few weeks mentally prepping for my book to be out in the world, but it all just feels like a dream. How do regular authors with book deals and a following DO THIS?!
When I set out two years ago to possibly write a book of poetry, I never thought it would turn into something quite like WRR. This book changed my life in so many ways, but mainly by showing me how passionate I can be about a project. So many of my writing projects fizzle out after a few weeks of working on them, and I truly thought I would never publish a book because I can't finish things. But with this one...every time I worked on it, edited it, formatted another page, I fell more in love with it. The story is mine to its core, but it turned into something more universal than I could have hoped for. I wrote it knowing that some of the people who follow me would be deeply touched by the contents, and I've already had a number of people tell me they felt moved by it.
I've been brushing off this book when I talk about, acting like today isn't really a big deal because it doesn't feel like it is. I'm just self-publishing a book to Amazon, NBD. People do this all the time. Which is true in some ways, but also...this is a very big deal. I spent the last 12 months diligently working on this book in my spare time, countless hours writing and formatting and sitting with this story. I did almost everything with this book because it's self-published, so I need to stop discounting the work I did on it. But it's so hard to allow myself to celebrate the work I did because it feels normal to me. Like, another one of my crazy art projects that I do from time to time. BUT IT'S A BIG DEAL! I keep pinching myself, reminding me that this book could change lives. Still unsure whose, but it could! More than that, this is a dream realized.
I have a vivid memory from 5th grade when we made caricatures in art class and we had to paint ourselves doing our dream job. Naturally at 10 I claimed I would be an "Author/Artist" because that seemed like a logical job at the time. And when I went through school I realized that was a pipe dream, totally impossible, especially since I don't even do drawing/painting anymore as a medium of art. However. I realized recently that this book fulfills that quota, that dream, that job. True it's more of a side-hustle, but 5th grade me would be shocked to find out that I am living my dream. In this book that is filled with my handwriting and doodles and photography, I am literally an Author/Artist. And people are buying my book. AND LOVING IT! WOW!
Even though this book is my story, it is important for me to talk about the people who were apart of my story, both then and now. This book only happened because I got hurt and because I found real friendship. I held on to some grudges for a long time (I am a Taurus so...) and I think I'm always going to feel a little bit of pain when I think about how I was treated by some of the girls I thought were my best friends, but it's because of them that I'm even writing this today. I don't think they'll ever read this or my book, but I want them to know that I was changed for good by their friendship. The two toxic friendships in this book really taught me a lot about myself and about life in general, and no matter how it all went down, I'm so thankful for them and what they gave me. And aside from that, the third friendship (and all the friendships I mention in passing in this book that have been there for so many years) is something I'll cherish always. I was so focused on having one or two friends growing up that now that I have like...too many to count, I have never felt so blessed. Somehow I've found the best people in the world to fight on my side, and I can never thank them enough for all they've done for me. Even just today seeing people support my book gives me so much joy...I never really felt like the popular kid, but I'm realizing now that I have more than enough friends. And yet, I'll never stop looking for more.
I will leave you with this final thought.
As you read through my book (or if you don't), please remember that everyone is fighting a battle against darkness. For some people, it's their brain attacking them, and for others it's a fight against the devil and the evilness of the world. Sirius Black once said that we all have both light and dark inside of us, and I've found that to be true time and time again. Please don't discount the light in people even when they wander in the darkness. And please don't ever think that you can't find the light if you're suffocated by the dark. There are some dark evils in the world today, but I have seen firsthand the light that is blossoming in the universe, and I know that at the end of it all, light is going to win. Maybe not today, maybe not in the next few weeks, but eventually, light will triumph. So keep that light close to you and find the light hiding in the people around you. Remember to forgive - both the people who've wronged you, but also yourself.
Be your own happy ending.
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT TODAY AND ALWAYS!!! Buy my book on Amazon or wait until the paperback comes out in a few days and buy it then!! (Or don't, I don't care!)
Water Runs Red
It's been such a wild ride getting to this day that I haven't really fully processed everything yet. I thought I was spending the past few weeks mentally prepping for my book to be out in the world, but it all just feels like a dream. How do regular authors with book deals and a following DO THIS?!
When I set out two years ago to possibly write a book of poetry, I never thought it would turn into something quite like WRR. This book changed my life in so many ways, but mainly by showing me how passionate I can be about a project. So many of my writing projects fizzle out after a few weeks of working on them, and I truly thought I would never publish a book because I can't finish things. But with this one...every time I worked on it, edited it, formatted another page, I fell more in love with it. The story is mine to its core, but it turned into something more universal than I could have hoped for. I wrote it knowing that some of the people who follow me would be deeply touched by the contents, and I've already had a number of people tell me they felt moved by it.
I've been brushing off this book when I talk about, acting like today isn't really a big deal because it doesn't feel like it is. I'm just self-publishing a book to Amazon, NBD. People do this all the time. Which is true in some ways, but also...this is a very big deal. I spent the last 12 months diligently working on this book in my spare time, countless hours writing and formatting and sitting with this story. I did almost everything with this book because it's self-published, so I need to stop discounting the work I did on it. But it's so hard to allow myself to celebrate the work I did because it feels normal to me. Like, another one of my crazy art projects that I do from time to time. BUT IT'S A BIG DEAL! I keep pinching myself, reminding me that this book could change lives. Still unsure whose, but it could! More than that, this is a dream realized.
I have a vivid memory from 5th grade when we made caricatures in art class and we had to paint ourselves doing our dream job. Naturally at 10 I claimed I would be an "Author/Artist" because that seemed like a logical job at the time. And when I went through school I realized that was a pipe dream, totally impossible, especially since I don't even do drawing/painting anymore as a medium of art. However. I realized recently that this book fulfills that quota, that dream, that job. True it's more of a side-hustle, but 5th grade me would be shocked to find out that I am living my dream. In this book that is filled with my handwriting and doodles and photography, I am literally an Author/Artist. And people are buying my book. AND LOVING IT! WOW!
Even though this book is my story, it is important for me to talk about the people who were apart of my story, both then and now. This book only happened because I got hurt and because I found real friendship. I held on to some grudges for a long time (I am a Taurus so...) and I think I'm always going to feel a little bit of pain when I think about how I was treated by some of the girls I thought were my best friends, but it's because of them that I'm even writing this today. I don't think they'll ever read this or my book, but I want them to know that I was changed for good by their friendship. The two toxic friendships in this book really taught me a lot about myself and about life in general, and no matter how it all went down, I'm so thankful for them and what they gave me. And aside from that, the third friendship (and all the friendships I mention in passing in this book that have been there for so many years) is something I'll cherish always. I was so focused on having one or two friends growing up that now that I have like...too many to count, I have never felt so blessed. Somehow I've found the best people in the world to fight on my side, and I can never thank them enough for all they've done for me. Even just today seeing people support my book gives me so much joy...I never really felt like the popular kid, but I'm realizing now that I have more than enough friends. And yet, I'll never stop looking for more.
I will leave you with this final thought.
As you read through my book (or if you don't), please remember that everyone is fighting a battle against darkness. For some people, it's their brain attacking them, and for others it's a fight against the devil and the evilness of the world. Sirius Black once said that we all have both light and dark inside of us, and I've found that to be true time and time again. Please don't discount the light in people even when they wander in the darkness. And please don't ever think that you can't find the light if you're suffocated by the dark. There are some dark evils in the world today, but I have seen firsthand the light that is blossoming in the universe, and I know that at the end of it all, light is going to win. Maybe not today, maybe not in the next few weeks, but eventually, light will triumph. So keep that light close to you and find the light hiding in the people around you. Remember to forgive - both the people who've wronged you, but also yourself.
Be your own happy ending.
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT TODAY AND ALWAYS!!! Buy my book on Amazon or wait until the paperback comes out in a few days and buy it then!! (Or don't, I don't care!)
Water Runs Red
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