One of the things you learn as a Graduate Student in the History Department is that everyone around you knows more than you do and you know that you're just faking it and hoping that no one around you will figure out that you're a fraud, an impostor, and you have absolutely NO idea what you're doing or why you're even here...especially not in comparison to all the brilliant, intelligent people around you.

And then, you find out that your fellow Graduate Students...and many of your Professors...feel the same way about you and everyone else around them.

Impostor Syndrome: a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".

I am told that this happens a lot among Academics, among Writers, among Artists, among Actors, among Creative People in general.

There are a lot of things I'm struggling with right now. (Don't get me started on Latin at the moment - I will burst into tears and scream to the sky about my own ignorance and lack of understanding.) But, the thing is...I keep going ANYWAY.

That's the only way to combat Impostor Syndrome - is to talk yourself out of it and keep going anyway even though the little voice in your head is telling you that you are clueless and stupid and do not belong among all these amazingly intelligent and talented people.

Gotta fight back...(which is cool...I'm Irish. I like to fight!) And...look at what you're doing and say "You know what? I know what I'm talking about. I've studied and researched and read and I know this. I have used my Critical Thinking Skills and I have come up with an answer utilizing information from many different angles and I know what the hell I'm talking about."

Lately, I've been rather down on myself and thinking about giving up. A friend of mine, Ronni, gave me the inspiration to write three positive things about myself whenever I start telling myself I'm stupid, I'm a fraud, I don't belong here, I'm an impostor. It's been kind of fun.

Granted, there are people who don't understand what I'm doing...and that's fine. They see my FB posts of "I can sing. I have an excellent vocabulary. I make a great cup of coffee." and wonder what I'm doing...and that's fine...I explain it when asked.

But, I find that when I have to sit and think of three positive things about myself - it's hard...because it's hard to see myself in a positive light. After all, I'm a fake, right?

Yeah, no...I do have to think about it...and sometimes, people will add in their own comments that are positive things about me that I don't necessarily see...but they do. It makes me feel happy and that...maybe...I'm not such an impostor after all.

So, I think this is a practice that I will keep up and while, YES! I work with and around some of the most brilliant people ever - Graduate Students and Professors - HISTORIANS, you know...I'm pretty smart, too. I have some really good accomplishments under my belt (or rather, on my CV) and I am taking risks and learning new things...things that are difficult for me (IE: Latin)...

Therefore, I am going to tell you...those few who read my blog...you're not an impostor. You're not a fraud. And you can accomplish these things.

I know what we tell ourselves...and it's really easy to believe what we tell ourselves...but, when you start in on the negative: stop...and think of three positive things about yourself. You don't have to post them on FB like I do. That's me. But, speak them aloud...tell the Universe that these are good and positive things about you...that you can do, that you're good at, that you have, can, and will accomplish.

I believe in you...and most times, I believe in me, too!

Remember: Life is an Adventure. Live It!