Well I didn’t even place in my work challenge.

Which makes sense.

I spent the first month and a half of it treading water.

Barely able to stay afloat.

By the time I committed to success it was to late.

The mixed bowl of chocolate covered peanuts & reeses pieces I had for breakfast Sunday says it all.

Not to mention the 2 bowls of chips I ate through a impossible to live up to expectations GOT episode last night.

That aside I have been strong lately.

More times than not I’ve eaten just one meal a day.

Supplemented by fresh raw fruits and veggies.

Maybe a snack maybe not.

Which for me is a drastic improvement.

At home I weighed 177 this morning. At work 179.

I will be under 175 by the end of this week.

Which makes a halfway point to the goal.

A marker of success.

It’s a journey but it’s good to see progress.

More important to know it wont happen everyday.

Keep going even when progress is nil.

Spent Friday night in the ER.

Which if you know the ER you understand completely.

In the end nothing serious.

Twins had been running a cold all week but no fever really till Thursday.

Friday it spiked and cause shortness of breath.

Took them to a clinic.

Dr said he didn’t like how they were having trouble breathing.

And that if they were his he would go to the ER.

What choice did we have.

6 hours later the ER Dr. politely explained how children in daycare get routinely get sick.

Oh. Thanks bro. Solid tip.

Regardless better safe then sorry

I’m not going to complain about the wait times etc.

The are insane.

But we did get special treatment due to babies.

And free health care is still amazing.

Didn’t get in a workout tho and topped out at 12972 steps.

But at the end of the day.

A Friday night date in the ER is a solid diet strategy.

So I felt like I had a little bit of runway the rest of the weekend.

And baby I went flying.

Sat I killed 20690 steps and Sunday 22256.

Fit in my reg strength training throughout the week as well.

It always just comes down to consistency.

Whatever we do the most of dictates our results.

Keep working.

As the pounds have started to fall away I’ve noticed my back is improving.

I think the TRX workout I’ve been doing has helped as well.

There’s a few lower back concentrated workouts to build strength.

Weight messes with us in so many ways.

If effects our bodies. Causes pain. Sluggishness. Soreness. And great stress on our organs and nervous system.

And it kills our minds.

Leaves us thinking about being overweight constantly.

Wishing we weren’t.

Upset that we are.

Having to think about everything we eat.

Calculate all those cals.

Wake up regretting the shit we did the night before.

Failing ourselves every time we cant stick to a diet.

Eating to enjoy life.

Only to hate the fact that we did.

I can’t imagine a day when this doesn’t overwhelm my thoughts.

You’d think I’d be busy right?

My beautiful wife Rachelle.

4 Kids.

Competitive gymnastics.

Minivan.

Work.

New house.

Writing blog.

Adding gifs to emails.

Writing a book.

Checking Facebook.

Making music.

Checking Instagram.

Playing shows.

Watching way to much soccer.

Monday night hockey.

Listening to podcasts.

Wanting to want to golf.

Talking about coffee.

Kids breakfasts.

Kids Lunches.

Kids Diners.

Laundry.

Groceries.

Homework.

Working out.

Laundry.

Watching ridiculous amoutns of tv.

Laundry.

Jogging.

Hanging dry laundry. (never happens)

Recently taking over the office lottery.

You get the idea.

Lots of crap going on.

And yet what I think about most.

Is whats that scale going to say tomorrow morning.

Telling myself I know what I want to eat.

But I also know that I don’t.

Having to look that food in the face.

To say no.

18 years ago all I knew was Rachelle.

She was everything and the only thing in my life.

I was hovering right between 158-160.

The lowest I’ve ever weighed in my teen/adult life.

Yet I still spent most my time thinking about the scale.

I’ve defined myself by my weight.

My weight is what I am.

I wonder if there’s anyone.

Who doesn’t see it that way.

And what they think about me.