Well that didn’t last long at all? I thought I could do it, but I couldn’t. How do you let go completely of someone who has been in your life forever?

The last few days I kinda went into a deep isolation and just contemplated my life now and where I see it in the future. There was a time when I couldn’t imagine my life WITHOUT my husband, but now I can’t imagine my life WITH him! Every day since I said we can work on our marriage I’ve been miserable. I felt like I was always on eggshells wondering if I’m saying the wrong thing or hurting his feelings? I felt trapped, isolated, and even though he was around, alone!!!! That’s no way to feel. Yet, I fought against that. I ignore the tugging at my heart for my kids’ sake. They were happy at the thought of us being together. I didn’t wanna smash their happiness but their happiness meant my sadness and I’m not helping them if I’m only functioning at a half cup full. I had to make a decision and as much as it going hurt them. I think it’s the best decision for us all.

Being single was hard. I struggled with it everyday especially coming from anlong term relationship since I was 13, but the fear will pass and life will go on. If I made it through 7 months of being alone I know I can deal with it for longer.

Life goes on……

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