To alleviate the boredom on long-haul flights on the Beach Fleet we played word games on the Passenger Address.

Excerpt from my book - "Dancing the skies and falling with style."

   We sometimes played a game on the PA. The cabin crew gave us a word which we had to include at some point in our passenger address. If we didn’t include the word, we had to buy the cabin crew a drink each. However, if we did, they had to buy us one. The stakes were high as there are 15 of them and just 3 of us. It required a great deal of ingenuity to include words such as ‘salmon,’ or ‘dreadlocks’ seamlessly into a passenger briefing.

   Our flight was from from Gatwick to Montego Bay in the north of Jamaica, and then across the island to Kingston. We were about to start the engines when the chief stewardess came onto the flight deck to announce that boarding and security checks were complete. She was a bubbly, extroverted blonde with a wicked sense of humour.

   “Right boys,” she sniggered, “your word for today is ‘bollocks’.”

   She clambered on her broomstick and flew out of the flight-deck.

   The First Officer was responsible for the announcements on the first leg. I looked at him in despair, trying to calculate how much 15 rum punches would cost in Kingston. Pale and grim he looked at me. At the top of climb he did his introductory speech to the passengers.  Sweating slightly, I listened in, but no ‘Bollocks!’ I put my head in my hands. Similarly, there was no ‘Bollocks’ anywhere in his remaining briefings. We were scuppered! 

  I considered going sick in Montego Bay. 

   We landed and glumly taxied towards the apron. The docking guidance system was lined up with my seat, so I took control to park. As we approached, I asked the First Officer to call for the doors to be switched to manual and cross checked. 

   He switched on the PA and announced.

   Cabin Crew, doors to bollocks and cross check!”

   I was stunned.

   The chief stewardess rushed onto the flight deck and said we had cheated.

   I replied smugly that we had followed the rules, and we were looking forward to five, frosted Red Stripes each when we arrived in Kingston.

   She stormed out in a rage.

   Feeling very pleased with ourselves we taxied out for the short hop to Kingston. The chief re-entered the flight deck.

   “Right, I’ve got you now,” she said with a malicious glint in her eye.

   “Your word, Colin is ‘Chlamydia’.”

   My jaw dropped.

   Cackling, she left the flight deck with a flourish.

   My vision of free beer all night quickly evaporated. How on earth could I use that word on the PA? It was impossible.

   The 747 wasn’t designed for short flights and I didn’t have time to think, completing checklists, doing calculations and weaving through the thunderstorms over the Blue Mountains took all my time and concentration.

How did I mange the challenge? All is revealed in my book.

Loved this book, a light hearted and amusing trip down memory lane for all airline crew and an insight into that extraordinary life for anyone who enjoys flying. - Wayfarer





Wayfarer









A delightful book full of intriguing ‘happenings’. Insights into post war commercial flying, not least about navigation methods, down route frolicking, night stopping without allowances plus political fallout from various events. Well written and engaging.





Lynn Hesketh









Push back and taxi to the runway. This book will take you on the read of your life.
I laughed and I cried. A book filled with excitement and passion for a life spent above the clouds.





mrs s











Click here to buy



















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The post The games we used to play. appeared first on Calvin Shields.