I fought the law and I won—thanks to Lance!
In January 2019, I went to a casino across the state line in New York. After more than six hours of playing the slots, I staggered out into the darkness, a few dollars poorer but richer in the knowledge as to why I rarely frequent gambling emporiums. Being the bad sport that I am, I was driving like a madman to get home, hurrying to put distance between myself and that cursed gambling den. Too much of a hurry, apparently. As I was nearing the town of Port Jervis, I saw the unmistakable whirling lights of a police car in my rearview mirror. I pulled over, came to a stop and sat in my car, prepared to meet my fate. It was six pm and already pitch black outside as I rolled down the car window and waited for a uniformed visitor to come calling.
After exchanging introductions, the policeman (a State Trooper, no less) asked me an all-too-familiar question: "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?" I played dumb even though, because I have a heavy foot and have been through this exercise before, it was pretty obvious to me why he and I were having a conversation. The trooper was all too glad to enlighten me. "You were doing 70 in a 45 zone." Feigning shock, I told him I had no idea how that had happened. He asked me if I was in the middle of some type of emergency situation and the best I could come up with was that I had just lost my shirt at a casino and wanted to get far away from there as quickly as possible. The trooper laughed. Then he noticed that my vehicle inspection sticker had expired. He became much more businesslike. He asked for my license and registration— which I gave to him—and then looked into my vehicle, utilizing his flashlight. He asked me what was in several large boxes sitting on the backseat of my car. I told him they were books and that I was an author. He asked me what the book was about. When I told him, he said, "I have two dogs. Both rescues. "One was a Doberman Pinscher that had apparently been used as a watchdog at a place of business. The business had shut down and the dog had been left behind. His other rescue was a three- legged Dachshund.
The trooper then took my documents with him back to his car and did whatever police officers do while leaving a driver like me to fidget in my car.
When he came back, he told me he was going to cut me a break. I offered to give him a signed copy of Lance: A Spirit Unbroken, but he played by the book (pun intended) and said he couldn't accept any gifts. Being the salesman I am, I instinctively gave him a business card and told him he could read Chapter 1 for free on the book’s website.
I have the distinct feeling that my book and this trooper's love of dogs turned the tide in my favor. Not only did he not give me a speeding ticket (which probably would have cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of $300 these days), but he forgot about the expired inspection sticker.
Many years ago, I came this close to getting a flood of tickets and even having my car impounded because of Lance (Chapter 28). This time, thanks to Lance, I avoided the clutches of the long arm of the law.
Moral of this story? Don’t gamble!