GREEN SONG © Harris Tobias

I am green green greener than green
I’m the greenest human you’ve ever seen
I seldom, if ever, will order red meat
And only from creatures that died in their sleep
I know the life story of each cow and sheep
Because I am so green

I’m green, green, greener than green
I’m so green it’s nearly obscene
I’ll only eat veggies organically grown
With compost I make in my bedroom at home
I’ll never touch anything altered or cloned
And I’m afraid I’ll get cancer so I don’t use a phone
Because I am so green

I’m the greenest person you’ll ever see
I’m so green it even scares me
When I go to the market I bring my own bags
I heat my house with junk mail and rags
The thought of preservatives just makes me gag
Because I am so green


I’m green, green, greener than green
I gather my salads down in the glade
It's the only way I am sure they're not sprayed
I only drink coffee that’s grown in the shade
And would never eat anything that died while afraid
I'm never without a rake and a spade
Because I am so green


I’m green, green, greener than you
I do more for the planet than you ever do
No processed foods ever pass through my lips
My car is a hybrid it only takes sips
But that doesn’t matter I never take trips
And I never use gasoline
Because I am so green


I’m so organic it’s almost a cult
When I go to the park I bring my own mulch
I only buy products packaged in bulk
My fake fur’s so real I think it could molt
And I take global warming as a personal insult
Because I am so green

I’m green, green, greener than green
I’m the greenest human you’ve ever seen
I’d never use anything animal tested
I was chained to a tree until I was arrested
Half of my diet has been pre-digested
My money is green and is fully invested
In wildlife rescue and land unmolested
Oh I am ever so green