Only In OzariumTidyBotsTwo ladies sit on the front porch ...
Only In Ozarium
TidyBots
Two ladies sit on the front porch of a house under a bright sun, each holding a plate of food in their lap. Their children play a game on the front lawn, kicking a ball around. Smoke drifts off a grill in the backyard. Both husbands are in charge of it, fixing hamburgers and hotdogs, each are drinking beer.
“You know, this was such a great idea, ordering a vacation for our family reunion,” one woman says after a chew and a swallow of a hamburger on a bun.
“I agree,” the other woman says around a mouthful of corn on the cob.“Even if this is all a hologram. It’s so real!” Flakes of corn and corn juice dribble down her chin.
A camera zooms in to view a small mass of dots scurrying from behind the woman’s ear, crawling across her face, consuming the food particles.
“Betty!” the woman nearly chokes on her food. “What on earth just crawled all over your face?” She almost drops her plate of food. The dog sitting close by licks his lips, ready to snag a bite if that wish comes true.
Betty smiles. “It’s the latest thing to keep your face clean, Cecilia. They’re called TidyBots.”
“Tidywhat?”
“TidyBots. It’s the latest greatest thing on the market. They keep your face clean. Here, I have an extra unit. Try it out by clipping it around your ear."
Cecilia sticks it on her ear. “Kinda like a, um, hearing aid.”
“Yep. It’s really neat. You’ll never need napkins ever again! All you have to do is think what job you want to give the bots to do, and they will do it.”
Cecilia eyes were wide. “You mean it has telekinetic ability?”
“Absolutely! TidyBots have a tiny little radar embedded in their system that will pick up its master’s instructions. Heck, they’ll even clean your hands too, if you're too lazy to do it yourself. Ha-ha. Watch this!”
Cecilia opens both palms and the TidyBots rush down her neck and slip under the sleeve of her blouse and perform the task promptly.
“Amazing!”
“Here, let me email you a copy of the quick-start guide from my Recog electronic tablet and a password to use. Make sure you tell them the correct commands. If you flub up, it could be dangerous.”
Cecilia blinks. “Dangerous?”
“I don’t want to alarm you, but there was a case where a woman’s face was scraped clean of her skin. They said those things didn't stop until they hit bone.”
Cecilia gasps.
“But don’t let that scare you. Gorrack-Shiffler snatched fixed the defect. They only want consumers to be aware. It’s kinda like those ads for new medicine. They always warn you of possible side effects, right? Same thing here. All you need to do is make sure you perform the correct commands. I had to do it when set I bought them. Make sure you think of a good password, though.” She leaned over and added: “That way, no one can steal it and use it for themselves.”
Cecilia frowns and does some thinking. “Didn’t Gorrack-Shiffler make that weird toupee for men?”
Betty chuckles. “Yeah. It was guaranteed to never fly off your scalp no matter what happens.” She stuck her hand above her head and flipped it up.
"Strong winds."
"Tornadoes!"
“Hurricanes!"
“A cat jumping on your head and grabbing a claw full of hair!”
The women laughed.
“Oh, I really got to try TidyBots!” Cecilia downloads the TidyBot instructions on her own Recog. “Interesting!” she said after reading the quick-start guide.
“Try it out! Eat something and be sloppy about it!” Betty taps her friend’s knee and giggles.
Cecilia takes a big bite off a chicken leg and lets the juice drip off her chin. She thought of the words CLEAN ME and automatically the TidyBots scurry out from behind her ear and do what they were built to perform. “Ooh! That tickled! Handy little snots, aren’t they!”
“Yep! I use ‘em wherever I go.”
“Well, so will I.” Cecilia smiles.
The picture pans backward and makes the two women on the porch blur. Bold black letters crawl across the screen as an unseen man’s voice reads: “TidyBots! The human flesh cleaner! Purchase TidyBots today and receive one free, plus your very own holographic vacation! That’s right! We’re giving away a FREE vacation! Why leave your home? Why pay for one of those expensive virtual travel agencies in to book your family vacation? Why pay to kennel your family pet? Stay home. Relax on a holographic beach holding your favorite drink. Enjoy the sun and waves of the ocean. Or wherever you choose. Act today!”
Another voice, this one a woman’s:
“This holographic scene was designed by us, the Gorrack-Shiffler corporation. To order TidyBots call 1-800-tidybots-clean-me and make sure you mention watching this commercial. You’ll receive your free holographic vacation.
“Remember, TidyBots is always safe…when used as directed!"
* Coming soon: TidyBots’ Framework, cleaning each pore and spec on the human body! You may never, ever, need to bathe again!
This has been an approved message from the Gorrack-Shiffler Corporation™
TidyBots
Two ladies sit on the front porch of a house under a bright sun, each holding a plate of food in their lap. Their children play a game on the front lawn, kicking a ball around. Smoke drifts off a grill in the backyard. Both husbands are in charge of it, fixing hamburgers and hotdogs, each are drinking beer.
“You know, this was such a great idea, ordering a vacation for our family reunion,” one woman says after a chew and a swallow of a hamburger on a bun.
“I agree,” the other woman says around a mouthful of corn on the cob.“Even if this is all a hologram. It’s so real!” Flakes of corn and corn juice dribble down her chin.
A camera zooms in to view a small mass of dots scurrying from behind the woman’s ear, crawling across her face, consuming the food particles.
“Betty!” the woman nearly chokes on her food. “What on earth just crawled all over your face?” She almost drops her plate of food. The dog sitting close by licks his lips, ready to snag a bite if that wish comes true.
Betty smiles. “It’s the latest thing to keep your face clean, Cecilia. They’re called TidyBots.”
“Tidywhat?”
“TidyBots. It’s the latest greatest thing on the market. They keep your face clean. Here, I have an extra unit. Try it out by clipping it around your ear."
Cecilia sticks it on her ear. “Kinda like a, um, hearing aid.”
“Yep. It’s really neat. You’ll never need napkins ever again! All you have to do is think what job you want to give the bots to do, and they will do it.”
Cecilia eyes were wide. “You mean it has telekinetic ability?”
“Absolutely! TidyBots have a tiny little radar embedded in their system that will pick up its master’s instructions. Heck, they’ll even clean your hands too, if you're too lazy to do it yourself. Ha-ha. Watch this!”
Cecilia opens both palms and the TidyBots rush down her neck and slip under the sleeve of her blouse and perform the task promptly.
“Amazing!”
“Here, let me email you a copy of the quick-start guide from my Recog electronic tablet and a password to use. Make sure you tell them the correct commands. If you flub up, it could be dangerous.”
Cecilia blinks. “Dangerous?”
“I don’t want to alarm you, but there was a case where a woman’s face was scraped clean of her skin. They said those things didn't stop until they hit bone.”
Cecilia gasps.
“But don’t let that scare you. Gorrack-Shiffler snatched fixed the defect. They only want consumers to be aware. It’s kinda like those ads for new medicine. They always warn you of possible side effects, right? Same thing here. All you need to do is make sure you perform the correct commands. I had to do it when set I bought them. Make sure you think of a good password, though.” She leaned over and added: “That way, no one can steal it and use it for themselves.”
Cecilia frowns and does some thinking. “Didn’t Gorrack-Shiffler make that weird toupee for men?”
Betty chuckles. “Yeah. It was guaranteed to never fly off your scalp no matter what happens.” She stuck her hand above her head and flipped it up.
"Strong winds."
"Tornadoes!"
“Hurricanes!"
“A cat jumping on your head and grabbing a claw full of hair!”
The women laughed.
“Oh, I really got to try TidyBots!” Cecilia downloads the TidyBot instructions on her own Recog. “Interesting!” she said after reading the quick-start guide.
“Try it out! Eat something and be sloppy about it!” Betty taps her friend’s knee and giggles.
Cecilia takes a big bite off a chicken leg and lets the juice drip off her chin. She thought of the words CLEAN ME and automatically the TidyBots scurry out from behind her ear and do what they were built to perform. “Ooh! That tickled! Handy little snots, aren’t they!”
“Yep! I use ‘em wherever I go.”
“Well, so will I.” Cecilia smiles.
The picture pans backward and makes the two women on the porch blur. Bold black letters crawl across the screen as an unseen man’s voice reads: “TidyBots! The human flesh cleaner! Purchase TidyBots today and receive one free, plus your very own holographic vacation! That’s right! We’re giving away a FREE vacation! Why leave your home? Why pay for one of those expensive virtual travel agencies in to book your family vacation? Why pay to kennel your family pet? Stay home. Relax on a holographic beach holding your favorite drink. Enjoy the sun and waves of the ocean. Or wherever you choose. Act today!”
Another voice, this one a woman’s:
“This holographic scene was designed by us, the Gorrack-Shiffler corporation. To order TidyBots call 1-800-tidybots-clean-me and make sure you mention watching this commercial. You’ll receive your free holographic vacation.
“Remember, TidyBots is always safe…when used as directed!"
* Coming soon: TidyBots’ Framework, cleaning each pore and spec on the human body! You may never, ever, need to bathe again!
This has been an approved message from the Gorrack-Shiffler Corporation™
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