Poignancy Alert: Maxwell Cynn on

Mother’s Day and Cancer

Our son has leukemia.

Leukemia incites images of beautiful children, their hair gone, their eyes dark and sunken – or old men dying in hospital beds. But modern treatment has turned the tide on the battle against leukemia. It is no longer an absolute death sentence, yet the treatment is still quite intense. The National Comprehensive Cancer Network (NCCN) characterizes treatment of leukemia as “…one of the most complex and difficult of all cancers.”

Generous donations to the Leukemiaand Lymphoma Society and extensive research has greatly improved outcomes for childhood leukemia patients and given hope to those with adult forms of the disease, yet patients between fifteen and thirty have seen the least improvement.

There are many factors involved in the difficulties of treating young adults with cancer. These are not small children under the constant care of loving parents or older adults with established resources and strong support networks. This is the face of young adult leukemia… my response for these type of situation is that sometimes will be necessary to get the help from a home care assistance to ensure that we are going in the right path.

Our son Joshua is twenty-one years old. The last few years he’s lived on his own in an apartment a hundred miles away from home, pursuing a degree in philosophy at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. He isn’t our little baby anymore. Joshua is a brilliant young man, proud and independent. But Joshua has Acute T-Cell Lymphoblastic Leukemia.

Joshua Rockin’ the Chemo

Joshua returned home and is in treatment at Presbyterian Hospital’s Blume Pediatric Hematology andOncology Clinic. He is participating in an international clinical trial sponsored by Children’s Oncology Group. Research has found that young adult patients show better outcomes when treated under more aggressive pediatric protocols. Adding insult to injury, Joshua is not only living with his parents, he’s being treated in a children’s clinic with toys and miniature chairs in the waiting room and Disney band-aids for his boo-boos.

Young adults, like our son, are in a strange form of limbo. Joshua is an adult. He must sign all necessary release forms and the bills for his treatment come to him, yet because of the debilitating nature of his disease he is often completely dependent on his parents. Most of that care falls securely on the shoulders of his mother. Not to be sexist, but my part in the battle often involves financial and logistical concerns while my wife stands as Joshua’s primary care giver.

My wife and I both have stable careers, with a good deal of flexibility earned through decades of service. My wife’s career is more flexible, allowing her to work nights and weekends so she is available to shuttle Joshua to his outpatient treatments, or be with him in the hospital, while I work the day-job. I’m an hourly wage-slave, so no-work-no-pay. My wife is salaried. But let’s be real, mothers rock! If you’re sick you want your mama not your dad.

My wife is amazing traversing the minefield of caring for a strong-willed, independent man-child. She manages his multitude of medications, his constantly changing schedule of doctor appointments, and all his physical needs with patience, perseverance, and poise – even when he is being a bull-headed young man. Of course there are conflicts. Joshua is very independent. But his mother gently, or sternly, keeps his treatment and our lives on track.

This is the woman who carried Joshua for nine months in her belly, home-schooled him until he was sixteen, and is again carrying him through months of chemotherapy as securely as she nurtured him in her womb. He kicks once in awhile, and she gets moody, but there has never been a stronger, more loving bond between mother and child. We are all in this fight together, but mother and child are connected in a way that defies description.

One of the things that struck me in the video I posted above is Suleika Jaouad’s mother. Watch the video and keep your eyes on her as Suleika undergoes treatment. Her eyes reveal a mother’s suffering as she sits on the side, supporting her child without “interfering” in a young adult’s independence. It is, perhaps, the most difficult position a mother can ever endure – traversing that minefield of caring for a young adult with cancer.I see that look in my wife’s eyes and my heart bleeds.

God Bless Mothers.

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While I’m here hogging Rachel’s blog, the Bad Redhead is over at Indies Unite for Joshua on a video supporting my son’s battle. Hop over there and say hello. If you can donate to the campaign, there are a multitude of gifts, supplied by my fellow Indies, ranging from books to various services. If you can’t donate financially, please share the campaign with your friends through Facebook, Twitter, Google+ or any of the social networks you participate in.

Thank you for reading.

xoxox

max

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