Learning How to Make Friends as a Christian Woman starts learning how to BE a friend. You might think you know how to be a friend. But I had to give this some thought several years ago and really be willing to look more deeply in the mirror. I am loyal and kind, but I struggle with some things that have made developing lasting friendships more challenging for me than for some people. Learning how to make friends comes easy to some. But I have always been that person who felt like she didn’t fit in. I am the person who walks away from a conversation and replays every awkward thing I said. Bullies tormented me for so long as a child, I became so self-conscious that I became introverted. To Learn How to Make Friends for Me Meant Learning Why it was so Hard for Me I still struggle sometimes because letting people in means letting people see the real me and risking rejection. I’m not perfect, and that is so hard for me. I never want people to see that my hair is a disaster or I lose my temper with my kids or my house is messy. But I had to learn that trying to hold together this pretense of perfection pushed people away. I mean who wants to be friends with someone who is perfect??? But yet, I was so afraid to be the real, broken, imperfect person I am with people, until I finally understood my worth in God’s eyes. Finding my real identity in Him freed me from so much comparing with people. Learning that God created me exactly as He needed me to be to accomplish His purposes for my life, to befriend the people He needs me to befriend, to speak truth into the lives of the people that He brings into my sphere. And we can’t make friends if we aren’t willing to be real with people. One of the qualities of good friends is being genuine. And accepting that we aren’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea. But we can be someone’s favorite cup of tea if we learn to exhibit the qualities of a good friend. God has been walking me through a deeper understanding of friendships and relationships because part of ministering to women is knowing how to love them. I had some knowledge about how to teach them, but I needed to learn to just love them. Learning to love like Christ has helped me learn how to make friends as a Christian woman. I needed to stop worrying about what kinds of friends I wanted to have, and work on what kind of friend I wanted to BE. I started looking at my dearest friends and thinking about what makes each of them such good friends. What are the qualities of a good friend? I can always call her, no matter the time of day. She is supportive, cheering me on when I am full of self-doubt. I can count on her to take time for me, even when her own life is boiling over. We don’t let trivial stuff interfere with our love for each other. She encourages my walk with Christ. When my life is falling apart, I know she’ll listen, offer to punch someone