When Beyoncé said “life is your birthright, they hid that inn the fine print,” she was talking directly to my heroine. We met at her cafe, Noir Tea x Nature and talked about legacy, life and love over edibles and herbal tea.

29, Army Brat, Owner of Noir Tea by Nature

Photo Cred: I do not own the rights to any of the photos above, they are used for inspiration purposes only.
All rights at credited to unsplash.com and @tsccalvin.

The Basics What is your full name? Any nicknames? Forge Marie Noir is my birth name. I never really understood why, but my mother used to call me Effie, but that stopped when I was about seven years old. My grandma calls me Mars. When I was a kid, I thought it was because my middle name is Marie, but a few years before she passed, she told me it was because she's convinced I lived on another planet.  Where and when were you born? May 19, 1991. Somewhere in Germany. My dad was stationed over there. My parents had no idea was I was coming. My mom was actually planning to re-enlist, and when she went for her physical, BAM! There I was baking in her belly, so she decided she wouldn't re-enlist. I was born on base about 6 months after they got there. Then, shortly after my dad was reassigned to Sicily. Before you ask, no, I don’t speak a lick of French. Do you have any siblings? If you do, what are/were they like? Nope. It’s just little ole me, but I wish I did. My parents are overbearing and I sometimes wish they had someone else to fret over. I don’t live up to what they want and they make sure they insert themselves in everything I do. Well, that was before I left and moved cleaned across the country. Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place (home and location) and the person/people you live with. Solace Point, on my mom’s family’s land. My mother’s side started in Solace Point after slavery. ended. Over the last two centuries, they’ve expounded on the land and it goes farther than the eye can see. When my grandmother died, she left it to me because she knew my mama wasn’t really fond of it. She resented growing up here, but I always wanted to. The heritage, the spirituality, it all just felt like where I needed to be. And I was right. I love it here. It has changed a lot and that annoys me, but the essence of Solace point, the foundation of it, it’s still here. How do you make your money? I have a degree in business and hold many certifications. I use all of my knowledge and skills to keep my family’s legacy running deep. My family has owned a cute little cafe here for the last sixty-five years. Every generation adds onto the legacy. The cafe was my grandmother’s contribution. I’m picking up where she left off. I’m not sure what my addition to the legacy will be, but while I figure it out, I’ve been running her business and thinking of innovative ways to keep the money flowing and the doors open. So far, i’m doing pretty good. How would you describe your childhood? Boring and lonely. I’m an army brat, I ran away from home more times than I care to admit. But my childhood was stable. I had a mom with me all the time. I was homeschooled since we moved around so much, so friends were few and far between.My mother wanted to keep me close, i think she hated the relationship I had with her mother. I think she missed her mother but was just too stubborn to actually say it. My daddy was protective, too damn protective. I could never go anywhere or do anything without him watching like a hawk in a tree. What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be the first me, whatever that meant. I’d said it sense I was about twelve. Every “role model” I ever had, I later found out had a stained past or had views I didn’t agree with. So, I stopped wanting to be like anyone and decided that whatever I do, I just wanted to be me. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? I think I would change the way I left home. My mom and I got into a really big argument. I didn’t hesitate. I slammed her door, got an Uber and booked a flight to Solace Point on my way to the airport. That was three years ago. When my grandmother died shortly after, I didn’t even hug her. She acted like she hated her mother, so when she died, I left her out of all the planning. She wanted to take my grandmother’s body back to where she finally settled after my father retired and bury her there. But I fought her because my grandmother always told me what she wanted me to do when she finally joined our ancestors. My mother thought I was wrong for that, so we don’t speak. I don’t want to change what happen, I just want to change how it happened. Because I don’t regret sending my grandmother off how she wanted, but I do regret losing the bond I had with my mother in the process.The Nitty GrittyDo you have any physical traits that stand out? How did you get them? I have a crescent moon shaped scar that takes up half my right thigh. It looks like those erase burn tattoos we used to look cool. I got it one summer I was visiting my Grammy. I was swimming in the lake behind the house. She always warned me about swimming in my clothes, but I never listened. That day my dress got caught and the wind picked up. I went under and all of the swimming training I had went out the window. I fought the water and a jagged rock punctured my thigh. When they got me out, I wasn’t breathing, but my grandmother was not having that. When I healed up, this little crescent moon was the reminder of the day I almost died.

Photo cred: @tsccalvin

Who has had the most influence on you? I’m sure you probably already figured out that it’s my Grammy. She is the most influential person I ever had the pleasure of knowing. She taught me so much during the time I spent with her. I wish I had more time with her. Summer and winter breaks just weren’t enough. But the last three years I spent with her before she died will remain lodged in my present memory. She taught me about life, love the importance of having and knowing your lineage, carrying on family traditions and legacies. She made sure I knew that the second I stop carrying about my heritage and fighting for my legacy, will be the exact moment my life loses meaning. Life we live isn’t for us, it’s for the lives we touch, the moments we share with others, the love we selflessly give to the world. What is your greatest regret so far, why? Has this regret formed you into the person you are today? If so, why My biggest regret was trusting my ex to care about my family legacy as much as I did. He almost cost me everything two years ago and I am still trying to get back on track. He care more about his future than he did preserving the past. He didn’t understand that with time the past would fund the future. I’d say he made me close off my heart. I loved him and thought I could love him enough to want to be a better person, but he just used all that love as ammunition to control me and keep me occupied while he tried to steal everything my Grammy left me.What are your religious views? God created the universe. The universe provided us with the tools to remain spiritually grounded, emotionally stable and mentally centered. That’s about as far as my religious views go. Not even sure they can actually be counted as religious views, but I read the bible, listen to Pastor Todd, Pastor(s) Steven and Holly, and Sarah Jakes Roberts, burn sage, charge my crystals, meditate while playing my singing bowl and spend time in silence listening for directives from God. What are your views on sex? It’s a beautiful oxymoron. It’s freeing, yet captivating. It’s exhilarating, but can be exhausting. I think we should explore it, experience it, but always proceed with caution because soul ties are real. I don’t to ever risk my wellbeing the way I did with my exes. It took me years to free myself from the demons and spirits those men left me with. So, I’m just super cautious now, and urge all the young women i encounter to do the same.How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings in the company of others? Ha! Too damn honest at time. People can’t handle my honesty, which is why I’m basically in a professional war with the big wigs of Solace Point. But, i pride myself on honesty which is why I don’t accept nothing less from anyone else. If I give honesty, I expect the same in return.Do you have any prejudices? If so, what are they and why do you have those specific prejudices? I loathe anything social media. Many people think it’s weird that I’m 29 years old and have never had any social media. Ever. I’ve just always valued my privacy, above anything else. Plus, my dad is in the service, well was for nearly thirty years. I know all about the shit they used against you. They’ll build something out of nothing quicker than Tupac’s mama. Next thing you know you’re the gov’t done sent you packing upstate for some outdate posts you made a million years ago. I’ll take no bread crumbs for 200 Alex.Which person do you wish you were closest to? My mom. Every girl should have a close knit bond with their mother. She is supposed to be the one you go to about any and everything. She’s supposed to wipe your tears, give you all the tools you need to make the right decisions when it comes to how to approach life. You know like our advisory board. My mother was more of a warden. “No” was the only word she knew besides “because I said so.” I think a lot of the bad choices I made could have been avoided if she just mothered me instead of treating me like her subordinate. My mother held a high rank when she left the service, and I think she missed that. I think she blamed me for stopping her climb and she resented me for it. She’s never said, but I can just feel it. Who is the most important person in your life, why? Currently, me. I am the most important person in my life. Because I have to take care of me before I can every take care of anyone else. I have to always put me first because I’m no good for or to anyone else if I don’t.Have you ever been in love? If so, describe in some rough strokes what happened (love at first sight, unrequited love, ended up marrying him/her, ended with heartbreak, etc.). I was in love, alone. I loved him, he used me. There’s no need in going down memory lane because I worked through all that. But I will say that he showed me exactly how love doesn’t feel, so I know when love comes around I’ll be able to sense it immediately and save myself the bullshit.

Photo cred: @tsccalvin

Who do you despise the most, why? No one. I am at peace with anyone who has every done me wrong. Holding on to hurt, rejection, resentment they all hurt me in the end, not the person I hold the feelings for. It makes me age faster; die quicker you know. On my mother’s side, the women live long and I know it has something to do with being free, forgiving those who trespass against them and letting go when it’s time; never exacting their own revenge or being vindictive. I want to live a full and long life like my grandmother and all the women who cam before her and I know they did that by always protecting their peace. That means letting things go that no longer serve me, including emotions. Do you like yourself? I love myself. Love myself enough to know what I deserve, what I won’t put up with and to know when I need to get my mess in order.Do you care what others think of you? Why or why not? Nope. I mean I don’t want anyone to ever feel like I wronged them or hurt them and they never let me know. But as far as caring what trivial things people think or say about me, I’m unbothered. I know I can’t please everyone, so I should only aim to please myself. Be proud of myself, Be forgiving of myself.Be concerned with myself. I know you probably think I say me, my and self a lot but that’s how I believe the world will be a better place. When people start caring about themselves, they’ll start regarding people with the same humanity. People don’t like or love themselves and they project those insecurities and fears on others and it shoes itself a rage, hate and envy. So, I make sure I love myself, then I can let what others do and say roll right off my back like oil on water.If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Not a thing. Now if you would have asked me this a few years ago, i would have given you a laundry list. My temper was uncontainable. My ambition uncontrollable and I also criticized myself for not being normal. Until I realized I was normal, I was my normal, I was an individual and normal was whatever I decided it to be. So, now my answer is no, I wouldn’t change a thing, because if I changed anything, I wouldn’t be me.Are you spontaneous, or do you plan? I have to plan or my anxiety will get the absolute best of me.If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Solace Point. This the only place I’ve ever wanted to live. Ever. This is where my family is rooted. This is where our blood is buried. This is the soil that I know I can always stand in and be grounded. Tethered to a purpose, tied to a legacy. I’ve spent enough years away from home.If you usually walk away from a situation that makes you angry, where do you go to calm yourself? I don’t walk away, I run. I literally run whenever I feel any uneasiness in my spirit. When it’s raining I’ll drive. But basically I put as much distance between the problem as I can until I calm down enough to handle it rationally.The RandomsWhat is your most treasured possession? Before she died, my Grammy gave me a necklace. It is made out of wood and theirs this hear shaped glistening stone in the center of a wooden frame that as been twisted tightly so the stone won’t move. The story is that when my great-great-great-grandparents wed, they were slaves on different plantations. After they had their first child, they planned to run. The night that they were planning to run, my great-great-great-grandmother’s master sold my great-great-great-aunt, whoo was only mere months and great-great-great-grandmother fought him until he beat her to death. The necklace sent to my great-great-great-grandfather by way of another slave that often times got lent out to the owner of the plantation where my great-great-great-grandfather was. They are some crimson and brown spots on the vines that were used to fasten the necklace and it’s said it was her blood as it spilled from the lashes she took.

Photo cred: @tsccalvin

If you are cleaning among your things, what is easy for you to throw out? What do you have difficulty parting with? Why? Anything that belonged to my grandmother. I couldn’t part with any of her stuff, so I threw out almost everything I had and kept all her stuff. Everything. Her clothes are still in the closet. Her shoes are still lined along the wall by color. I wear her aprons when I’m working in the garden or in the shed I converted into a storage facility and warehouse for the cafe.

He was the Folgers in her cup. She was his dew in the morning. Together they found refuge in one another's gaze. The rest was love.