This week I have spent my time trying to form a new schedule for my work week. I am finally finding a routine that works until I move and have my own space once more. It has been a challenge to get any writing accomplished just because I have not been going to work for the last five months. At this point we don’t know how long schools will be open but I am hoping we make it longer than a few weeks. The bright side is I have gotten a few chapters done and I am writing most days. I am starting to realize that at this point I am having to show myself some form of grace. My life right now is a bag of chaos or that’s how it feels. I am writing but not as much as I want to. I am doing some editing but again not as much as I want. The thing I am having to adjust is my goals for the week. The goal currently for the week is seven pages. It’s not much but it is greater than zero. Between the potential of another shut down, gearing up to move, and karate I am feeling pretty good with a goal of seven pages a week.

I am not just working on book six but I have also been working once more on my poetry. I have been talking with a friend about doing the artwork for the book. It has made me want to go forward with my vision for the book. I am excited about what it will look like when it is done. As a writer I look at the poetry I am writing as adding to my goal. If I can get seven pages with Savannah done and three poems a week written then I am winning in terms of accomplishments for the week.

The issue I face is that I hold myself to a higher standard than that. So seven pages doesn’t feel good enough. Three poems is not enough. I should make more time to get edits done. These are the things that run through my head in my down time. I have to learn to have more forgiveness and grace for myself than I currently do. I guess the question for this week is how do you learn to be less hard on yourself?

I am unsure I am equipped to answer this question. I have high standards for myself. I expect that I should be able to handle more than I am currently. Yes, I have a number of changes happening. I have a few uncertainties in my life just as everyone else does at this point. The issue I have is I expect that I can plan a better schedule and do more than I am currently. I can feel the desire and in some ways the need to do more and yet I struggle to get more done. So what do I do with that feeling? The only thing I can do is remind myself that at least I am meeting my weekly goal. Most weeks I am doing more than that. It may not be all that I want but it is still better than not at all. There are two days a week that I just can’t get writing done. Those are karate nights for my kids. I go from work to karate on those two nights and I am there for a couple of hours. By the time I get done with my day job and karate I am done mentally. Those nights are the nights I kick myself the most. I am then forced to remind myself that I will do more writing the next day. It takes me reminding myself regularly that I am doing all that I can at this point. In a matter of weeks I will be moving. Once I move things will settle down and I can rework my schedule to one that allows me to get more writing done overall.

So give yourself a break and try to look at the positive. I may not get as much writing as I want to get done but I am moving forward. Within the next couple of months I will be back to where I was months ago. I will be starting my audiobook with any luck. Hopefully, my poetry book will be coming to a completion. Until next time!