Saint Wilder is a refreshing drink of water on a scorching day. He spared a few minutes to talk to me in-between his dance classes. His responses to my semi-evasive inquiries are proof he’s a man worthy of a chance and is qualified to be the hero of Ready. Set. Live.

23, Dancer, Instructor and Mentor

Photo Cred: I do not own the rights to any of the photos above, they are used for inspiration purposes only.
All rights at credited to pexels.com.

The BasicsWhat is your full name? Do you have a nickname (if so, who calls you this)? Saint Wilder. People call me Saint da Savior. Well not people, Sloane calls me that, and I don't consider it a nickname because nicknames should be shorter. She's just a clown.Where and when were you born? October 16, 1997. Owings Mills, Maryland, my best friend calls it Dope Game Veterans' retirement town.Who are/were your parents? (Their names, birthplaces, occupations, personalities, etc.) My parents are Christian and Beverly Wilder. They're happily divorced now. But dating each other again so, yea not really sure what their old asses are really doing. Anyway, my dad is a retired dope game veteran, turned club owner. He owns 2 gentlemen's clubs, 4 lounges, 2 night clubs and co-owns a restaurant with my mother. My moms is a retired stripper, was one of the best in the business before she gave it up when I was like 9. Then she went back to culinary school. Pops gifted her the restaurant the day before her graduation. They are cool, when I keep my distance. We used to but heads a lot when I was home, but now that I'm grown we get along way better. They come visit sometimes, I go home every now and then. There is no hard feelings, I'm just the independent child they raised me to be, so I'm not really clinging to them these days. I work, but they still throw me money every month. Do you have any siblings? If you do, what are/were they like? I had a little brother. We were 3 years apart. He died when I was 16, from kidney failure. He got a transplant, but his body rejected it and he quickly declined after that. His death is part of the reason I butted heads with my parents. I wanted to get tested to see if I was a match, but they wouldn't let me. They were afraid to lose both of us. In hindsight I understand, but as a 16 year old kid dealing with the lost of my kid brother who was the person I loved the most, devoted my lil life to protecting and spending every free moment I had with, I was closed off to anything logic they were trying to get me to grasp. I didn't talk to them for the remainder of my high school career after we buried him unless it was absolutely necessary. As soon as I graduated, I was on the first Megabus heading up North.Did you have any role models? If so, describe them and why they were your role models. Not necessarily role models, but I respect genuine people. People who never switch up and never fold on their beliefs to make it. Debbie Allen,  Denzel Washington, Taraji P. Henson, Tupac and Viola Davis are some people who come to mind. Definitely Taraji and Tupac because they have roots in the DMV, the parts of the DMV that people specifically like to count out. My little brother went to Tupac's middle school and checkout books that he used to checkout so that I could reqd the books he read and feel like I was "picking his brain." My mother's big sister actually went to the same high school as Taraji and talked about how she used to do her hair and nails. Viola and Denzel are just stellar as people and they are so great at the humble brag, you know letting motherfuckers know who they are, what they've accomplished and their long ass resume without shitting on anyone. And Debbie because she is a GOAT. Her movement transcends time and hope to impact generations of dance just like she did.What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? The death of my little brother. His life impacted me majorly because he lived despite his limitations. He was fearless and never let his condition stop him from doing anything he wanted. There was nothing he wouldn't try, whether it was ziplining, hunting, kayaking, skydiving. He would try it. He would always tell me that we all are going to die sone day and just because his time will be shorter than we all expected he was not going to have less experiences. He taught me that life isn't measure in time, but in moments in time. His life showed me that as long as I'm making moments, creating memories and cherishing every second I have; than I'm living.Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? What do you most value in your friends? Describe them with some basics like their personalities, how you met them, what you have in common, etc. There's Bird, his real names Trip, but he's been Bird since birth. He's my best friend. We grew up, kind of together. His dad and mine are real tight. He lived with his mom in Baltimore, but spent weekends, holidays and summers with his dad, who lived in the house across the street from mine.  When middle high school came around, we saw less of each other because he played football. Shortly after my little brother passed, his mom died and he moved in permanently with his dad. Then there are our room mates, Christopher and Cristoff; twins from Philly. We're all tight now, met the first week in New York and been a quartet ever since. But they both got job offers outta state and Bird's getting married. So, I'm now the only tenant.The Nitty GrittyDo you care what others think of you? Why or why not? To an extent. I mean, I'm a dancer so I have to care a little or I'd never get any gigs. Outside of that I care that people think I am genuine in my actions, because I am. Now, am I so caught up that I try to change to garner this response, hell nah. I keep shit a hunnid all the time and if people choose not to see, believe or think I’m genuine then it's their issue, not mine. All I ever can be if the best version of myself, a version that I can love and be proud of. I can never please everyone, so that’s not a goal of mine

Photo cred: pexels.com

What do you measure success in? (Money, career, husband/wife, children, happiness, etc.) Success is measured in joy and peace. You don't have to have earthly possessions, tons of accolades. Creating joy and designing your own peace are the true successes of life.Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? I believe in both, but I also believe we can experience more than one true love, but only one soul mate. We can love at different stages of our life and no one stage of love is truer than the other because the trueness of the love we feel is aligned to that particular stage. Neither stage takes from the other. But with a soul mate, that person is both your kindred. They feel you on levels deeper than love. Because love no natter how pure is rooted in flesh, but a soul mate connects not to our fleshly satisfaction or infatuations but to our spirit. The most vulnerable, transcendent part our us. If that makes sense to you. I know it's a lot to digest, I've been sitting with this idea and unpacking love and the idea of soul mates since I was about 18. When my parents decided to divorce, then start dating and existing together, I needed some short of way to make it make sense. This is what I came up with.Have you ever been in love? If so, describe in some rough strokes what happened (love at first sight, unrequited love, ended up marrying him/her, ended with heartbreak, etc.).  I was in love in high school. We met in summer bridge when we were 14. She was the girl of my teenaged world until the middle of our junior year. But from there we realized we want different shit and ultimately grew apart by the time we graduated. She wanted marriage, kids, and all that jazz and I wanted to work at my personal goals, enjoy my adulthood, and you know advance in my career before I even thought about any of that. She thought love would be enough and while I knew it very well could be, there was just something about that being the only things she really wanted that never sat right with me. Marriage and parenthood are great and all, but I don’t believe that anyone should just aspire to be only a husband/wife or father/mother. Like what is your life without those titles, who are you without those titles. That’s important to know, it’s important to explore and experience them too. So, we decided to go our separate ways. I heard she did wind up getting married her sophomore year of college. She’s an army wife and soccer mom now. So, she got what she wanted.

Photo cred: pexels.com

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? Hmmm. My favorite hobbies. One would be mixing down music. Originally, I started at school for music, but I let Sloane's crazy ass talk me into being her partner for one of her final projects and after that one of the instructors persuaded me to switch over. He found a spot in the program for me and some money, so I made the switch. But music has a special place in my heart. It was the thing me and my grandmother did together. She introduced me to the greats and trained my war to know good music, no matter the genre. When she passed, she left me all her vinyls, 8 tracks, cassette tapes, and albums. My music collection is colossal because of her. Pastimes, I'd say listening to my massive music collection.Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? How do you get the money for it? Do you want to quit? I drink a whole fucking lot. For a person who is as active as I am, it started to weigh on me and make my workouts, dance routines and just getting out oof bed hard. Hangovers were becoming way to frequent and I never realized it until last year when I almost fucked up a great opportunity trying to nurse a hangover. Since then, I’ve cut back tremendously. Where would you like to live? Why? I learned early that home is where the heart is. I know it's cliches as fuck, but there were two songs my grandmother used to play all the time. There was never a time I was at her house and didn't hear Whitney Houston's "My Love is Your Love" and Luther Vandross' song "A House is Not A Home." She taught me that home was wherever love dwelled. So, I want to live wherever love dwells. You can make a home anywhere, all you need is love.What goal do you most want to accomplish in your life? I’ve seen so much death, that the only thing I most want to accomplish is to use up every ounce of talent I have before I live this earth. I want to live a full life doing what makes me happy, wholly.Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Composing and/or choreographing for musicals, tours and hopefully running a studio where dancers can compose their own music for their routines.What in on your nightstand? I don't have a night stand because my room is for sleeping. If I get a nightstand, I'll start having all kinds of shit in my room that I don't need in there. But I do have a vintage record player. You know the ones with the cabinets and a place for a plant beside the vinyl player top. I currently have a “String of Heart” plant up there that Sloane gave me when I became the sole tenant of this apartment. And Stevie Wonder’s “Songs in the Key of Life” is leaning against it, because the record is the one I been spinning for the last few weeks. What is in your refrigerator? Water, iced tea, oh and a pitcher of triple mix. Triple mix if fruit punch, tea and lemonade together. There’s always some fruit in there and the fixings for salad. All other meals I usually eat outside of my place, either with Sloane or grab food while I’m out with my dance homies. 

He was her remedy. She was his rhythm. Together they danced the. pain away, until there was only love.



September 2020















 

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