The last two weeks have been a bit of a trial. I recently lost a friend to suicide and the loss of this friend is something I am still trying to understand. He was a man that always made you laugh, had a smile and a hug for you. He was a good person and I am a better person for knowing him.

Despite the heart ache I feel I have been writing as much as possible, getting closer to the end of book six. I have the goal of finishing this book within the next two weeks. I am unsure if I will meet my own deadline but I am feeling good about this section of the book and the last two chapters of the book. I have also been working on my poetry, getting more written than I have in several weeks. The one problem I am facing is when I will have time to write during the weekend. I am getting ready to move to my new place and I am trying to finish packing. On top of that, I am running out of room for boxes. My kids, Mom, and I are surrounded by boxes. Seriously, I could make a fort out of boxes. As fun as that sounds, I am a little over the boxes.

To add to the stress I have been dealing with not just my day job but also helping my daughter with her online school. When I picked online instead of two days of in person learning I thought this will be a great fit for her. There is a part of me that is saying she just doesn’t have the hang of it yet. There is another part of me that says what have I done? I have spent a few of my writing nights doing school work with my kid. It is a legitimate reason not to get writing done but it frustrates me.

My life has been rapidly changing. What I foresaw as my future seems to be completely wrong. In fact, the way I pictured my life after divorce is not the way it is playing out. I am starting to see a different life entirely with new players in it. I am trying to wrap my head around the change of events and not to run away scared. I had a moment of panic last night where I was about to run in the opposite direction of what is playing out in my life. There is nothing set in stone as of yet but life has differently surprised me.

So what does all of this mean for my writing career? Right now, I feel like I am going to have to put a pause on my writing. The thought makes me cringe and want to cry. I have worked hard to have a writing career and I have had to fight even harder to be able to do this. I have emotions I am dealing with and there are a few things that are up in the air for me. Taking a pause is not the right choice, at least that is how it feels right now. I think what I am going to have to do is push on the nights I have to write. During the next couple weekends I will have to take a break in order to finish what I need to do for my family. Once I am moved and unpack, my life will start fresh and I will be able to create a new writing schedule. My bosses have been saying to all of us that we have to have grace for ourselves during all of this craziness. This is no different. I am still learning how to have grace for myself or as my mom says empathy and sympathy for myself. I tend to push myself harder than I push anyone else. I am more critical of myself as well. It is a lesson I am learning currently.

So give yourself a break. Accept that sometimes life is going to affect your writing schedule no matter how hard you try to fight it. Have some grace for yourself when things seem to be rapidly changing in your life. We all have moments where our lives go through dramatic changes; some we set in motion, others happen because the powers that be set them in motion for us. Until next time!