Waiting Game (High Stakes Love Book 1) Sneak Peek

Synopsis

Love. Such a small word that holds an immense degree of power. Power to free the captured. Power to quiet the beast. Power to soften the blow of a lover's deceit. However, sometimes love alone is not always enough to replenish the empty cup you've used to pour into another vessel.

Take A Look in the Book

*unedited and subject to change *

River

“I honestly hate you for guilt tripping me into coming here with you.”

My body temperature instantly rose by a good 70 degrees the moment we reached the front of the line. Yet again, my dearest friend had managed to talk me into accompanying her to The Mess Hall. Entering my old stomping ground, I felt like I’d just been sucked back into time. Nothing about this place had changed since my teen years. The smell, the broken glass ceiling, the wobbly bar stools, the old man at the end of the bar, and my queen of the dance hall moniker, “Rhyri” still scratched into the restored Cherrywood bar countertop. Sliding my fingers across the signature, a smile crept into the corners of my mouth. This place used to be my home away from home.

“Awww, lighten up, Nile. You can’t par with your old parri for one night? I fly out in the morning. What if mi die out dere on dem dere waters.”

“Yea, I know, but if you call mi Nile one more ‘gain you gwan be sleepin' with dem little fishies. Ya hear mi, Tandie?”

Tandie and I had been tight ever since we came to America on the same plane. Both our parents checked us in late and almost all the seats on the Southwest flight were filled, so we wound up sitting beside each other and forged a friendship etched in the clouds. That was twenty-three years ago, and we’re still tighter than liquid leather leggings. When we were in 5th grade, the class bully gave me the name Nile. He thought it was fitting because my parents named me River Rhys. His half-blood, potbelly-having-self thought Jamaica was a country on the continent of Africa. I’m sure you know where his studies took him. If you guessed the State Pen and not Penn State, then you guessed correctly.

“Yea, okay,” Tandie raised her right index finger in the air signaling the bartender, “what are you sipping.”

“Water, bottled. Alkaline.”

“Lame!”

This is the precursor to every ‘shipping out’ soiree with Tandie. She’s 6 month’s my senior, but I get the title, washed-up old friend. I got it honestly. I do prefer being curled up on my chaise with a warm throw, and a good book. And by good book, I do mean THE good book. Yes, I’m a church girl. Born, raised, and nearly drowned in my family’s worship center. Many are always wondering why; how even, Tandie and I remained friends for all these years. To be completely candid, I have no idea, but maybe God has a big plan. And being even more candid, Tandie is the most spiritual and centered person I know besides the assistant pastor of my church.

We’d been to three upscale lounges already, and it was just midnight. Tandie took celebrating to astronomical measures. I’m surprised she didn’t want to become one. Whenever she’d come home on leave, her shenanigans always ended with me knee deep in regret and shame. But it was the price I paid for having my own personal bodyguard. When we were kids, I was such a saint, I wouldn’t even swat a fly. I got picked on for being a church mouse, but only Tandie knew I had a wild side. She’d defend me and hand out tongue lashings so severe, I wanted to pray for the poor kids, and she did it for me no questions asked. Thus, these few hours of tawdry turn-up were payment enough.

“River Rhys Sullivan,” Tandie yelled my name over the loud music “I am flying clear across these United States tomorrow. You won’t see me for damn near a whole 365 days, 366 because it’s a leap year and you’re not gonna turn all the way up to ignant levels with me?”

“Tandie Cortez-Clarke. You can tone it down a few notches. You don’t have to use your commanding officer voice with me. Save that for them seamen, geesh.”

Tandie was convinced I needed to wild out for at least thirty days after breaking up with my tired boyfriend. I’d been with Todd McIntyre for nearly six years. Actually, we were engaged for a year and a half. Then seven days before the wedding, he suggested we postpone the wedding because he needed time to seek God. Yea, I knew it was a crock of crap. We grew up in the same church, so I knew malarkey when it came my way. But love. I was head over heels in love with him. Plus, our church all but pre-arranged our ceremony, so I shrugged it off as him getting cold feet. But, oh to my surprise, his feet were nice and warm, in the bed of another woman. On what was supposed to be my wedding day, he came to my condo and told me his son was born that very morning. Tandie hated him from jump street so whenever she could, she threw verbal jabs at him.

“That sucker for corn rolls and manicured toes wannabe does not deserve your tears. He is the scum of the earth. A serpent with his legs snatched right from under him. I need you to be over him before I get on that plane. So, it’s time for you to tap into your sexy and boss up like the River I know you to be. Let that nigga know what it’s like to swim upstream without a paddle.”

“Why does it always have to be Todd? Why can’t I just not want to turn up? Besides, you know I stopped drinking six months ago. Stop trying to enable me.”

“Gyal. Why you goin try to play mi like I don’t know you. You know you only stopped drinking to fit into that God-awful wedding dress his mama sewed for you that was two sizes too small.”

“Gyal. Shut up. C’mon, let’s dance.”

“Na ya talkin’ mi language.” Tandie jumped off her bar stool and did a quick twirl.

As if on cue, the DJ switched it up from Beyonce’s ‘Baby Boy’ to Rihanna. I tripped over the bar stool as she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the direction of the dance floor. Saying dance to Tandie garnered the same reaction as a junkie hearing ‘8 balls half price.’ I don’t know if it was her Caribbean roots, but music moved her like nothing I ever saw before.

I know you’re probably wondering why I started this tale of two hearts with the departure of my best friend. It’s simple. My life changed that night. You see I never step out for any public secular activities besides Tandie’s birthday. Since her next birthday fell while she was nearly 3,000 miles away, we were celebrating her promotion instead. Now, don’t get me wrong, I loved a good time, but music had always been my gateway.

Tandie and I got into so much trouble as teenagers. We skipped class to go to matinee showings of movie premieres. Pranking teachers was our favorite past time. We stole my parents’ car and drove across state lines to go to reggae concerts in New York. We were real hell raisers in our parents’ eyes, and college just made it worst.

When I was in high school, music almost cost me my virginity; four times. In college, it did the same. Music and college did not mix well with me. It was the tipping point for the downward spiral, both academically and spiritually. I went to college 3,000 miles away from home, and that dose of freedom sent me on a dangerous descent. I found ruin at the end of many bottles of liquor; the cheap stuff too, like 99 Bananas cheap.

I was two sips away from Alcoholics Anonymous and had flunked out of college. I lost my scholarship. Then, I fed those failures with more cheap liquor before heading home to break the news to my parents. There went my two sips. So, after six months of, “not being able to wait to be grown,” I was in AA for teens, wallowing in my twelve steps. All that happened because of music, my obsession with dance hall and my need to feel closer to my Jamaican roots.

I’d thrown myself into repairing my life. Two years later, I re-entered college. Took extra classes to finish in three years. Then immediately went on to get my Masters. Now that I think about it, I see why Todd’s corny behind may have taken up refuge with another woman. Nah, eff that, what man doesn’t want an independent woman who still cooks every night and keeps the house clean? I’m still his one that got away. Any who, Tandie was thrilled I was the one who actually suggested hitting the hardwood floor. Really, it was to take her mind off me not drinking. She was definitely not the friend who encouraged my AA ventures, but she supported me nonetheless. Now, I don’t manage it how I should. I’m six months clean, but not completely committed to eliminating alcohol. I just monitored my drinking and made sure never to use it as a coping mechanism again.

Besides, that night, we were at our favorite dance spot. Tandie wanted to spend her final night in a nostalgic place just one last time. She’d just been elevated to MCPON in the United States Navy and was leaving for her new position at the Naval Base Ventura County. Though she wanted fun, I couldn’t seem to get in the mood. In less than 24-hours, my greatest friend would be starting a new life on the other side of the country. I really couldn’t picture life without her. Yea, we’ve been apart while she was in the Naval Academy and the three times she was deployed, but for some reason, this time felt permanent. It felt like we were officially saying goodbye forever. Our lives were shifting into a new dawn, and I was having separation anxiety. Was I proud of my boo? Indeed. She had worked so hard for this. She’d succeeded in making her parents proud, despite our speckled adolescent years. But I needed her here with me.

I grabbed Tandie by the hand and twirled her around on our way to the dance floor. I don’t know what got into me that night. It could have been because I knew I would be apart from my better half for at least a year. It could’ve been because I didn’t really grieve my failed relationship. But looking back, I’d say it was a divine encounter. God works in mysterious ways. Ways so mysterious I don’t even want to know how he comes up with his plans, but I know he had to have planned what happened next.

Tandie wind on me like we were going half on somebody’s baby. As always, I encouraged her lesbian antics by winding back into her and grabbing her little bitty waist. I Got Your Man was made just for Tandie. She’d take your man; or woman, with one twist of her hips.

Your man he told me that he's tired of the shit you got. He took one hit and said my good shit keeps him coming back. He likes it tight and said your shit is just a little slack. Girl, don't get mad at me. I'm only telling you the facts

“Yasss, boo, give them life.”

I egged her on as she sauntered into the middle of the dance floor. As she did her routine, she spun around on the balls of her feet and did some crazy trick with her waist. She gave me a look, and I knew there was no way out of it. I had to tear up the hardwood with my bestie one last time before she dipped off to the Westside. As if on cue, our childhood jam blared through the speakers placed strategically throughout the small, dank club

Shake it 'til the moon becomes the sun. Everybody in the club, give me a run. If you ready to move say it. One time for your mind say it. Well, I'm ready for ya. Come let me show ya You want to groove, I'ma show you how to move

With a devilish grin, I slow wind to the middle of the dance floor. My hips serving as Moses’ rod as the crowd parted to let me step into my rightful place. I was the Queen of the Dance Hall. And as much as I didn’t want to get out there, sometimes even a Queen must descend her throne to show the royal court how it’s done. Whipping my head in the opposite direction than my hips, I allowed the bass to play background to the rhythm of my heart as it took over. I glanced over at Tandie who grinned slyly. I threw her a wink and went all in. We created a routine to this when we were teenagers, and the steps never left our bones. We winded into a line and kicked our feet into opposite directions. The club instantly went wild.

The euphoria that rushed me was something like no other. Music was indeed my greatest escape. Each move I made; my anguish melted away. I wanted to live in this exact moment for a lifetime. As I flipped on my hands into a handstand and allowed Tandie to stand on my feet and slow wind as I wound in the opposite direction. The crowd lost whatever sense they had left.

When the song ended, we laughed all the way back to the bar. I missed everything about this moment. With a quick wave of my finger, I summoned the bartender. Tandie smiled from ear to ear. She had me right where she wanted me, heading down memory lane.

“Only because it’s your last night in town, I shook my head as the bartender made his way down to our end of the bar.

“2 lemon drops and 4 shots of patron. Not any of that watered-down mess either.”

“I got you, shorty.”

Being here took me back to the good ole days, where we had all the fun and none of the responsibilities. We could drink ‘til the sun came up, sleep it off, then do it all again. Boys were just accessories, that got dropped if they didn’t match our purse that day. Simple. Nothing complicated. Nothing long term. Small glimpses of life that expired with the dawn of the next day.

Now, I was sitting here, looking down the bottom of a shot and questioning every move I’d made in the past five years. How did I end up engaged, then not engaged and I’m the one that got dumped? Wait, did I even get dumped? What do you even call this? I’m more than an ex-girlfriend, but not quite an ex-wife. I’m not a divorcée. I’m just gonna say I’m the one that got away. Hell, I’m forever the one who got away. I shook my head and tossed my two shots back. Waving two fingers in the air, I picked up the lemon drop that sat perched in front of me. The bartender nodded he’d gotten my signal, and I smiled.

“What are you thinking about? You just downed two shots and didn’t even wait for me?”

“My life. It’s a mess. How did I get here? How did I not see his ass for the dog ass hypocrite he was? How T? My bullshit detector has always been on point. How did he bypass the radar? I’m sorry. I know we’re supposed to be celebrating and enjoying your last night, but I can’t get pass where my life took a nosedive.”

“Oh, Rhyri. I hate seeing you out of your element. You are usually the one with all the answers. You always have everything together. You’ve been my picture of perfection ever since I could remember. Even when you lost your way, it didn’t take you long to bounce back. I always admired that about you. You know I never like Todd. Something about him just was off to me. Honestly, I always thought the dude was a closeted Chi-Chi man. But he ain’t worth this.”

Tandie set her drink down on the bar and turned her barstool to face the side of my head. She spun mine to face her. I just took another sip of my drink and sighed.

Lifting my chin, Tandie moved her head around, searching my eyes. “Look at you. You ARE a picture of perfection. Always have been. You’ll get through this in no time. He is history, and when karma comes to deal him a hand of everything he did to you, your history will be his only story. Every time he looks at his family, he will see his future in the back of that baby’s eyes. He will always remember the one that he let slip away, you won’t. You want to know why? Because the one who got away never remembers the one who let them slip, only the one who caught them. You’re gonna meet the man of your dreams, and you’ll be the girl of his.”

She wiped the single tear that escaped my eye and smacked the bar. “Mr. Bartender, where’s them shots?”

Laughter filled my belly and escaped through my vocal passage. I swear I would miss the hell out of this girl. She didn’t have an emotional bone in her body, but she always had the right words. Even though she said I was always the one with all the answers, she really was the glue that kept a sister together. I probably would have never kept going had she not been in my corner.

Joakim

As I sat downing my third glass of D’usse, I scoped the action below. I thought I’d reached my limit when I saw her step in the spot. The infamous Rhyri. She could drink a man under the table and never lose her footing on the dance floor at the same time. Last I heard, ole girl was settling into the domestic life and had put her clubbing days behind her. So, to say I was shocked to see her would be the understatement of an understatement.

“Bro, you coming down tonight or what? You have been up here scoping the scene like you a hired gun.”

“Shut up. That’s what being your silent partner affords me. Solitude in a crowded establishment with drinks on demand,” I responded motioning for the female bar attendant to bring me another glass.

“Yea, ard. I’ll holla at you when you come down. Don’t miss all the action. You know Dancehall Thursdays are the wildest night.”

My baby brother was the epitome of turn up. Three-hundred sixty-five days a year, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, he was ready to party. It made sense for him to want to purchase a club; one that never closes, at that. Me, I’m different. I like to turn up, but only when I want to turn up. I was never a thrill seeker. Only thing I really gave interest to were ways to make money, long-lasting money. The kind that outlived my children’s children. Money was the only reason I ever stepped into this house of chaos. If I left everything up to my brother, every person walking with a pair of tits would drink for free, and the doors would be shut before they ever really opened. I was the order to the disorder.

I watched Rhyri as she slow grinded on her best friend. In all these years, their little gay routine still worked. It kept the women staring and the men uninterested. I never knew why women thought that shit really kept dudes away. Any real man would still try his luck. Now don’t get me wrong, I respect a woman’s preference. If she tells me back off, I step, but I’m not gonna let some lesbian tango in the club stop me from stepping to a shorty I find attractive or interesting. Personally, I thought it was sexy. I never understood why men were turned off by two beautiful women having a good time with each other.

Rhyri was the only picture of perfection I’d ever laid eyes on. She was such a dream with her deep brown eyes, full lips, and womanly curves. She was indeed a work of art. I know God had to take a few extra seconds molding her. I still remember the last conversation we had. She was just getting ready to head off to college. I’d just returned from a business meeting in Vegas. She was stunning even back then.

“Hey, Rhyri.”

“Hey, Joakim. How you been? Your brother told me you were getting back today. How was your trip?”

“It was all love. Enough about me, so how’s it feel to finally be leaving mommy and daddy’s nest?”

“Haha. Very funny. You know they never could keep me in that nest.”

“Yea. I know. They almost lost you to mine, remember.”

“How could I forget. You were always one of my few weaknesses. Glad, I got cured of that.”

“Oh, that was cold. Anyway, good luck at school. I know you’re gonna do great. You have always been a bright bulb.”

“Thanks. You not too dim yourself. Maybe in another life, we would have shined together.”

“Aye, life ain’t over yet. We both still breathing, right?”

Rhyri grinned and raised her glass at my last remark. Taking the last sip, she grabbed her coat and headed for the exit. Just like that, she was gone. She was off to start her life, and I was back to living mine.

I always thought that in a different place, at a different time, she could have been mine. Now she was somebody else’s. My brothers thought it was my age that scared her away, but I knew it was more profound than that. Back then, I had power over her. She didn’t trust how vulnerable she got with me. The ease with which she let me in scared her. I get it. No one wants to be at someone’s will like that, powerless against the emotional hold they had over you. Rhyri was always a good girl, and I challenged her image. I almost claimed her virginity, and that scared her. She wasn’t ready for that, and especially not with a player like me.

I knew I wasn’t tryna be tied down to one girl. I definitely wasn’t turning my card over for a girl that was four years my junior. Besides, I cared about Rhyri, she had a tiny little piece of my heart, so I couldn’t hurt her like that. I let her drop me, knowing just maybe when she grew up, mentally, we’d get another shot. Guess that shot wasn’t coming. Downing the rest of what was in my glass I stood to my feet. I checked my pockets to make sure I had my phone and car keys before heading to the elevator.

“About time you joined the fun.”

“Bry, chill on me, aight. Everybody ain’t about that turn up like you. Some of us like our peace undisturbed.”

Just as he parted his lips to respond, I caught a glimpse of Tandie wiping Rhyri’s face. Usually, I was a stickler for minding my own business, but seeing her falling apart at the seams did something to me. Bry caught where my gaze had gone and threw his hands up in surrender.

“Handle ya business, playboy.”

Not that I needed his permission, but it was reassuring knowing he had my back. I never felt butterflies before approaching a woman. Rhyri looked much more mature than I remember. She was even more breathtaking than she was back in her teen years. Life wasn’t treating her bad at all. As I neared the duo at the bar, I felt like my steps got heavier. It was something about this moment that felt like I was shifting the trajectory of my life. I couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing, but I didn’t have time to figure it out because the gap between us became smaller.

“Hey, T.” I figured addressing Tandie first was the easiest way to gauge where her mindset was.

“Hey, Joakim. Long time, no see. What you been up to these days?”

“T. You just saw me at the mall last week. How you talking about long time no see.” I shook my head as I laughed at her.

“Shit, in my line of work, seven days is a long time. Besides, we didn’t catch up. I just threw you a quick hi, I ain’t wanna press up on you while you were with ya flavor of the week.”

“Chill. She was my baby cousin. Her prom is coming up and you know I’m the designated bank account. You know how that shit go,” I shrugged, “Hey Rhyri,” I said nudging her shoulder.

“What’s up, Jok.” She barely looked at me when she spoke. I figured it was because she ain’t want a brother to see the tears brimming in her eyes. She’d been swiping away at them since I walked up.

“Who did it? I know it better not be ole boy I hear you ready to lock it down with.”

“You never were too bad at guessing, were you,” she laughed.

I took a seat on the empty barstool next to her. “C’mon, sit on Jok’s lap and tell him all about it.”

“Boy, you wish,” she laughed again. “But seriously, I don’t wanna talk. There isn’t really anything left to say. Words won’t change a thing about my situation.”

“Well, maybe actions can. Let’s dance.”

I pulled her up by her elbows before she had the chance to protest. I knew exactly what would get her out of her funky mood. As I dragged her out on the floor, I looked back at Tandie as she jumped back on the barstool. She threw me two thumbs up and a wink.

Rhyri seemed preoccupied the entire time we danced. I could tell that whatever situation words couldn’t change was weighing her down. I signaled to the DJ to switch it up. You can call it coincidence, but I’ll call it fate.

“Whenever I got no money. She is still my honey,” I sang in her ear as the song came on.

“Really?” That was the first time I saw her smile bust through those sad eyes. This was the song I sang to her all the time during our brief summer fling. When I first met Rhyri, I was broke and just returning from college. My dad had just died at the hand of my mother, and my two little brothers depended on me. The night we buried him, I wandered into the first bar I saw, and there she was with Tandie. I knew she wasn’t old enough to be in nobody’s bar, but I stepped to her anyway.

I knew girls her age in a place like this were usually looking for sugar daddies, and that I was far from. I was just 21, still feeling the sting of my first shave. We wound up talking that whole night, and the next.

Before you knew, we were inseparable. She’d sneak out to see me every night. Sometimes she’d lie and say she was staying at Tandie’s house and spend the night with me. We were four years apart, but I swore she was more equal to me than any chick I went to college with. She knew what she wanted, not just at that moment, but out of life.

“Feel it, boy, you can feel this feeling all around the world,” she sang in my ear as she slow danced, “I needed this. A lot. Thank you.”

“So, are you gonna tell me what’s really up? Ryan told me you were getting married.”

“Ughhh, can we not talk about that tonight?”

“What about tomorrow, over brunch? Or is he the jealous type that doesn’t let you catch up with old friends?”

“Tomorrow is fine. I’m dropping Tandie off at the airport around 10. Pick me up at 11.”

“Whatttt. I can pick you up? Ole boy must don’t know what he got.” I spun her around until her back was against my chest. She put her chin in her chest and wrapped my arms tighter around her waist. I snuck a peck on the nape of her neck. It was exposed and I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity.

“Open your heart girl, open your heart, and let me back in. You be a queen and I forever your king.”

“Forget everything and everybody. Boy, let's just have a party, me and you.” She spun back around to face me. Cupping either side of my face, she pulled my head down until our eyes met. I could see all the pain she’d been trying to conceal since she stepped in the building. I leaned in and kissed her. I knew the Hitch 90/10 rule, but shit, I left her that 10 before and she walked away from me for over ten years. That shit wasn’t happening again.

She welcomed the kiss like I felt deep down in my heart, she would. Something told me her pending nuptials were null in void, but her kiss was confirmation. Taking her hand, I led her off the dance floor.