I’ve always said that the mark of a great friend is someone who thinks you’re much funnier than you really are. Using this measure, Sam would easily be my best friend. From high school all the way to now, I know that spending time with Sam guarantees that we’ll both crack each other up over something that others would only groan at.

As Andrew and I discussed who we wanted to interview first, we landed on talking to someone who embodied commitment since we had just finished a series on the subject. Sam immediately leapt to mind as one of my most loyal, committed friends. No lie, he is the Texan version of Samwise Gamgee (minus the gardening). Sam shares a ton of great insight about what inspires his loyalty and the benefits of loyalty within the podcast so I won’t repeat that here. Instead, I’ll share a couple stories and insights we didn’t have time to cover within the episode.

#1 Loyalty Requires History

When Sam asked me to be his best man in his wedding, he gave me a reason that I’ll never forget. Even though there were lots of guys that, at that time, were more present in Sam’s life, he told me that he wanted me as his best man because I knew some of the older, less attractive versions of himself and stuck around as Sam grew in maturity. Obviously, I could’ve said the exact same for Sam. I often joke with my wife that if she had met me in high school, there’s no way she would’ve been willing to marry me. But Sam did know me in high school. He was one of my best friends. When you have that kind of history with someone you either become blinded to the person they have become due to past experiences or you have remarkable clarity about how significantly someone has changed in comparison to those experiences. That’s where loyalty, not blind loyalty, can be so meaningful. As friends, partners, and people we should bring a more critical eye to the history we have with others. Be careful not to discount someone that may have been a screw up 15, 5, or even 1 year ago. At the same time, don’t let that person off the hook for not growing during that same time person. Loyalty should mean expecting and seeing the best in those we’re closest to.

#2 Loyalty Requires Courage

How many of you have been in a situation where someone has started to rail on your favorite sports team, musician, or movie and the rest of the group seems to completely agree with the disparaging opinion? Do you find it tough to be loyal to your interest and go against the group? What about when it’s a group talking badly about a friend? Does your loyalty still show its head? Another reason I consider Sam one of my most loyal friends is that I witnessed him stand up for a person or cause he’s loyal to even when surrounded by the most hostile critics. Many times it’s been for something silly like baseball, but I’ve also seen it when it comes to something that really counts. His faith. In moments where it would be much easier to sit quietly while others voiced negative views of Jesus, Sam is one that will always speak out in defense. Sam’s courageousness makes his loyalty really count for something.

#3 Loyalty Shouldn’t Be Blind

Love and loyalty are two positive attributes often given a negative spin when coupled with blindness. Many times I think we confuse blindness with benefit of the doubt, but that’s a post for another day. In some cases, blind love or loyalty truly exist and neither situation is desirable. When it comes to loyalty, this really should be a two-way street. By loyalty flowing both ways, it opens the door for some of the most hurtful yet helpful truths to be spoken between parties. The fact of the matter is that people change over time. This can be a positive, growth change or a negative, decay change. If our loyalty lies with the person that we love, then we should help them to that positive growth. If we remain loyal to a stagnant idea of someone, we open the door to decay. When I first when to college, I invited Sam to visit for spring break. At the time, Sam thought he would stay in Amarillo after graduating. My entire goal during the spring break visit was to convince Sam to leave Amarillo and come to Texas A&M. This was contrary to what Sam wanted at that time but as his friend, I truly felt it would be beneficial for him. Ultimately Sam did come to Texas A&M and experienced so much growth from it. Had he stayed, we would have remained friends and it’s entirely possible he would have grown in other ways but it’s more likely that he would have stagnated and been a lesser person for it. I’m still loyal to not only Sam but to the best version of him. If our friends can’t help protect us from ourselves, who can?

If you want to hear more about Sam and loyalty, please check out his interview on Dead by Tomorrow.

-Daniel