It’s been over a month and a half since my last post. While I could give you a laundry list of reasons as to why I have been posting so infrequently, I’d rather give you my assurance that starting in January I will be posting far more regularly! My goal for the new year is to have one quality blog post every week. I am inviting you to hold me accountable to that goal!

Anyways, the majority of my hiatus was spent finalizing Tuatha dé Danann Episode I. I have gone through three or four different levels of drafting and revising at this point and there are a few different copies of the novella in the wild currently awaiting feedback from beta readers. I am hoping that the beta readers start pouring in the feedback in the near future so I can apply any final changes to the manuscript before going through the publishing process. Originally, Tuatha dé Danann was going to be a series of short stories available for free through my website. However, as the scope of the project grew and the length of the Episodes increased, it seemed the logical step to try and sell the novella. Currently the plan is to release Episode I through Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing Select program. Through KDP Select, I will be able to sell the ebook on Amazon’s website and it will also be available on Kindle Unlimited. In addition, I will be making a paperback copy of the novella that will be available for purchase through Amazon and here on patrickdquinn.com. I had considered selling on multiple platforms but a far more experienced author advised me to stick with KDP Select for the time being until I’ve built up more of a brand.

Unfortunately, during my work on Episode I my old friend depression came back to haunt me. As those that have been on the site for a while know, I have been battling with depression and bipolar syndrome for a very long time. After a long and difficult battle, including counseling and trying every bipolar/antidepressant medication under the sun, I reached a point a few years ago where I felt I had a pretty good grasp on mental health and took myself off all of the meds. For me, it was more important to be able to deal with the extreme emotions that accompany my mental illness than to live in the grey, emotionless void that life was like while on the meds. It took a lot of work but over time I learned how to effectively deal with both my manic and depressive swings. The key was identifying when I was on a manic high or depressive low and having effective plans for dealing with both.

So, holiday season 2020. The Covid19 pandemic is still going strong but there is an end in sight thanks to the vaccines. Unfortunately, due to my work as a soccer coach, this meant that I couldn’t risk spending the time with my family this season. I would never be able to forgive myself if I inadvertently infected one of my family members and due to the amount of children that I work with every week, it is better to play it safe this year so we can all be able to spend next year’s holiday together. Unfortunately, as altruistic as this is, it doesn’t make it any less depressing.

The most prominent signal that I am on a depressive swing is a devaluation of my self-worth. I start questioning and doubting everything in my life; my appearance, my health, my finances, my coaching; the list goes on and on. One of the things I doubt most of all during my depressive swings is my writing. This is the number one reason that I have been unable to complete a novel yet. I start telling myself that whatever I am working on is garbage and that I should just give up. This year, I was deep in the editing process for Episode I when that familiar voice started whispering in my ear. I found myself reading through the same manuscript that I had been so excited about days beforehand and thinking that it was complete trash. Needless to say, but it is difficult to effectively edit when a chemical imbalance in my brain is telling me that all the hard work I had poured into it had been a giant waste of time. Multiple times during the process I found myself in front of my computer with my face buried in my arms thinking to myself that I will never make it as a writer. As you can imagine, this makes the entire process that much more difficult. In the end, what should have taken me a few weeks ended up taking me almost a month and half. There were times during editing where I had to step away from my computer or risk doing irreparable damage to my manuscript. To say the entire editing process was difficult would be a glorious understatement.

Fortunately, I was able to complete the main editing of Episode I. The novella is in the pre-release phase right now where I am (im)patiently waiting to hear back from beta readers with feedback for any final revisions before I pull the trigger and publish. I think the best analogy for trying to do edits on my manuscript during a depressive phase would to compare it to walking through knee-deep mud; it’s not easy by any means but it’s also not impossible.

Anyways, that is the long and short of why I haven’t been very active on here over the last month. Look forward to hearing more from me after the holiday break! With any luck I will be announcing a release date for Episode I in the very near future as well so keep your eyes on the page!

I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful holiday season! Remember, even if you can’t spend this holiday season with your loved ones in person, they are always a video call away!