Florida Man Arrested After Drugging Date In Bar

Florida Man goes into a bar
a fancy bar
to have drinks
fancy drinks
with his ex
after getting engaged
to an even younger
even fancier
woman.

Florida Man is a fancy man,
middle-aged doctor
a busy practice
money and women
coming and going,
a baggie of drugs
in the back pocket
of his four hundred dollar jeans.

Florida Man waits for his ex
to leave her second drink
for the ladies room,
adds Xanax
adds Ambien
to her double martini.

Florida Man drops the baggie
in the trash can
in the men's room,
returns to his seat.

Uh oh,
the police
called by a patron
watching like security
cameras above the bar.

Florida Man denies all charges.

Florida Man takes a hundred
Xanax
goes to sleep.

Florida Man wakes up.

Florida Man rents a fancy boat
sails off
to a distant city
and has a drink
at Tiger Woods'
fancy bar.

Women, he thinks,
can't break up with them
can't kill them.

From: Florida Man, Grandma Moses Press