There are a lot of things no one tells you about being a father. My daughter vomited into my mouth once. It was an extremely small amount of vomit that found its way into my mouth. However, when it comes to someone else’s vomit intruding your mouth, the quantity doesn’t seem very important. 

A pedantic person might even argue that my daughter didn’t technically vomit into my mouth. This annoying, pedantic person would say that she “spit up” in my mouth. Well, to you, the annoying, unwanted, p...