My entire marriage has involved us having an additional partner there were lulls when we were without. Our current girlfriend has been with us for over 15 years. In the beginning, we all three slept in the same bed. After a while, it was nice to have a private time and then together time. All relationships take work, patience, and empathy, and like all relationships some times we do much better than others. When my husband and I first started down this road it was unusual in the midwest United States. On the coastlines, the media told us they were more tolerable. I can not say that society did not place judgment on us because we lost employment, family members, and numerous friends. There were legal repercussions throughout the years and some continue to the current year. When society places stress on any relationship that causes conflict within the structure. Having multiple people involved complicates all aspects of daily life. Through the years we have settled into a hierarchy of sort with my husband and me at the top and our lovers below us. The current girlfriend is submissive in nature she is more comfortable being told how than having to problem solve most situations. One of the major mistakes I see in all relationships is one person attempting to micromanage everyone around them this only causes undue stress on all parties. 

The majority of people will think of the sexual aspect of a relationship before all the other intricate parts. Humans need physical contact to prosper it creates chemicals in our bodies that give us relief from stress. I have met people who had lovers on the side of their monogamous relationships they always state how great it is for their relationships but the majority fall apart within 5 to 10 years. A true poly relationship must involve all parties interacting in some manner. It can be a friendship base with two people and a lover based on the others. I decided when I was a teenager that I needed a female and a male to give me a sense of balance. Sex is an expression of emotions but also an activity of relaxation for me. The only time I had issues was when another person attempted to completely exclude me or my husband. Relationships that create more tension never last long in my household. 

As I get older I find that sexual interaction has become less important while having a person I can depend on who is my friend and lover is the priority. When we started in the early 90’s we were the outcasts. As the years have progressed the number of poly relationships has gained notoriety and to some degree respect. Historically there have been poly relationships throughout time. This is not swinging which focuses on a sexual adventure. In a poly relationship, there is a commitment to staying together as a unit or a family. In the early years, we had numerous lovers and we have had sexual partners we all three enjoyed but we are not looking to expand beyond the trio we have.