1. not many people care, but those who do, truly and deeply do.
2. hierarchies are almost always inhumane. avoid them as much as possible.
3. walk alongside people. neither of you really know the road.
4.hurt people hurt people. 
5. you can't love yourself, stop trying. you can only clear the path from all the obstacles for that love to arrive.
6. labels are liberating at first but can easily be restrictive. use with caution.
7. trust your gut. I can't explain it, the knowing without knowing, but trust it.
8. don't take "you've lost weight" as a compliment. it's as invasive as all the weight loss surgeries you've had and no one’s business. your weight does not determine your beauty.
9. practice asking people to clarify. say I don't know but I would like to learn often. don't be intimidated by the abyss of infinite knowledge. no one knows everything. we are always learning.
10. practice saying sorry from a genuine place not a place of politeness. it is difficult. mean it. there is healing in humility.
11. stop saying sorry for taking up too much space or time. stop apologizing for your feelings or their expressions. you are valid. practice that reminder.
12. not everyone is going to be up to the standards you crave, intellectually and emotionally. that doesn't mean they don't have a lot to offer. that doesn't mean they won't make great friends and companions. 
13. practice building healthy friendships. being open with people and allowing, I repeat allowing, allowing, allowing them to carry you and take care of you. that is not just your ideal partner's job. you can lean on many people, that's not using them, that's friendship. that's survival.
14. allow yourself to take as much as you give. giving compulsively can mask bigger issues of a fear of dependency. being independent does not protect you, so allow yourself to be dependent in a healthy way. No man is an island. 
15. you think they don't understand you, but your parents will always be your biggest supporters. Be gentle when waging your internal wars outwards. they are people too. they did the best they could. 
16. remember intentions matter. 
17. don't disclose everything at once. protect yourself. I'm still learning.
18. allow yourself to grieve the death of your expectations from your parents, but don't take too long, they're getting older as we speak.
19. some nights you will not be able to find a way to go to sleep, the nights will feel endless and the restlessness excruciating but that's when you realize you can write about it and it feels a bit better. 
20. write. As often as you can. wherever you are. on any surface.
21. believe people when they tell you good things about you. 
22. be careful with men who say I love you too soon. 
23. be careful with men who feel like they've left their heart in another room when they speak to you. 
24. you deserve to be loved. You also deserve to be free. find someone who knows and respects that balance. 
25. learn about sisterhoods, embrace a connection with other women, take a minute to admire every woman's strength. each woman's life is an epic tale of struggles. never undermine them.
26. never assume you know what someone is going through or feeling. ask them. be there. listen. 
27. learn to say no. to say fuck you. to not internalize someone's skewed vision of you. there are a lot of people in the world and a lot of perceptions, hold on to how you see yourself, and let that anchor you wherever you are. no one knows you better than you.