Pure, Unadulterated, Unvaccinated Love
Like an ex-con at a job interview just waiting for the interviewer to, ahem, bring up his past — perusing online dating profiles has become an exercise in waiting for the shoe to drop — waiting for the woman to proudly declare: “fully vaxxed.”
It’s not usually a long wait. Often it’s the first thing they say, or it’s the last. Kind of like the sequencing of songs on an LP.
Not that we weren’t forewarned. For months now women have been including in their photos at least one, and often several, shots of themselves wearing a mask. I am still not sure what this is meant to convey. That they take their pandemics seriously? That they spend so much time in a mask you have a right to see what they look like? Or is it more like compulsories in an Olympic figure skating routine? (‘Ah, yes... and now here she is with her mask... just lovely.”)
So vaccination has long been in the works on online dating sites. Probably for longer than in the lab.
I will be the first to say my experience w online dating has not been a particularly positive one. (Though I can pass along this tip: you want to hear back from a woman, like six of her seven photos. You’ll hear back by the end of the day, guaranteed.) If I had to guess, I’d say I hear back from one out of every 15 women I contact. Usually it takes a day or two, or weeks, even, and sometimes just a few hours. Once, though, I heard back within seconds. She had described herself on her profile as “highly educated (two masters),” so I wrote: “And can I assume this highly-educated woman has no intention of taking any corona vaccine?” She immediately answered: “Fully vaxxed — J&J.”
And that is what I have found so disturbing about online dating, even more than the leeway given “a few extra pounds”: that of all the conclusions one can draw on corona based on the evidence, number one surely is that the more “educated” one is — that is, the more degrees one holds — the more certain it is they have declared themselves “fully vaxxed” — apparently not knowing that with these vaccines, there’s no such thing.
The good news, however, is that it can't be long till someone creates the world's most exclusive online dating site: for the non-vaxxed only. I’ll even give them their tagline: ‘Where everyone’s beautiful, now and forever.’
It’s not usually a long wait. Often it’s the first thing they say, or it’s the last. Kind of like the sequencing of songs on an LP.
Not that we weren’t forewarned. For months now women have been including in their photos at least one, and often several, shots of themselves wearing a mask. I am still not sure what this is meant to convey. That they take their pandemics seriously? That they spend so much time in a mask you have a right to see what they look like? Or is it more like compulsories in an Olympic figure skating routine? (‘Ah, yes... and now here she is with her mask... just lovely.”)
So vaccination has long been in the works on online dating sites. Probably for longer than in the lab.
I will be the first to say my experience w online dating has not been a particularly positive one. (Though I can pass along this tip: you want to hear back from a woman, like six of her seven photos. You’ll hear back by the end of the day, guaranteed.) If I had to guess, I’d say I hear back from one out of every 15 women I contact. Usually it takes a day or two, or weeks, even, and sometimes just a few hours. Once, though, I heard back within seconds. She had described herself on her profile as “highly educated (two masters),” so I wrote: “And can I assume this highly-educated woman has no intention of taking any corona vaccine?” She immediately answered: “Fully vaxxed — J&J.”
And that is what I have found so disturbing about online dating, even more than the leeway given “a few extra pounds”: that of all the conclusions one can draw on corona based on the evidence, number one surely is that the more “educated” one is — that is, the more degrees one holds — the more certain it is they have declared themselves “fully vaxxed” — apparently not knowing that with these vaccines, there’s no such thing.
The good news, however, is that it can't be long till someone creates the world's most exclusive online dating site: for the non-vaxxed only. I’ll even give them their tagline: ‘Where everyone’s beautiful, now and forever.’
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