Let’s explore the detrimental state known as “settling.”

Wouldn’t it feel amazing to have the health, the body, the financial security, the relationships, the homelife, the career, and the social network that you dream of? The fastest, most direct way to get any or all of those things is to replace what does not absolutely, completely benefit you with what does support you.

In fact, swapping your negative, health-sapping, success-stopping habits and beliefs with positive, health-supportive, success-creating habits and beliefs is essential to shaping a life you love.

That’s where today’s fast, powerful “assignment” comes in: Explore those things you are merely tolerating in your life. If you’re like most of us, you probably have at least one area of your life that you’re putting up with—for whatever reason. This is so common that there have been actual studies on this, including fascinating research on settling in relationships published in the Journal of Personal Social Psychology. Law of Attraction gurus state that tolerating a less-than-ideal situation tells the universe things are just fine the way they are. That you don’t need to be fitter, healthier, more vibrant. That you don’t need anything better, easier, bigger. You’re doing just fine with what is in your life at the present, thanks very much.

So today, we examine the things that are not “just fine” with you. Get out a piece of paper and a pen. From loose door hinges to sticky points in your relationships, list ten unacceptable situations with the goal of working on them, one situation at a time. Right this minute, choose the easiest item. Commit to doing whatever is necessary this week to take this item from its current unacceptable status to fixed and perfectly fine. If it can’t be fixed, then get rid of it. Quickly. Then move on to the next-easiest item and fix it. And so on, and so on.

It is my hope that you will be revisiting this list regularly, adding and committing to new items, until there is not a single unacceptable situation you are tolerating in your big, bright, vibrant life!

Resources

— The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, by Charles Duhigg talks about how settling is simply a habit—the habit of putting up with something that doesn’t serve you. Habits can be broken!

— Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough (Berkley), by Lori Gottlieb, offers up a bit of a contrarian view that good enough really can be good enough. Worth a read for anyone who feels they are settling in their romantic relationships.

— Stop Settling, Settle Smart: Rethinking Work Life Balance Re-design Your Busy Life (Jones Media Publishing), by Dana Look-Arimoto, offers up an interesting take on the idea of settling by encouraging readers to “settle smartly” in certain areas of their lives in order to create a happy life.

— Hustle, Believe, Receive (Skyhorse), by Sarah Centrella, celebrates what the power of focused change can do to turn around a life. While you only need small steps to make a change, this shows you what a dedicated person can do.

— One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way (Workman Publishing), by Rober Mauer, is a potent guide to easing into new habits—and turning your life around. Learn how to steadily build your confidence and make insurmountable-seeming goals suddenly feel doable.

— Morning Mindset: A Daily Journal to Get You in the Best Headspace Every Day. Change Your Mornings, Change Your Life. A bit of journaling done every morning is a powerful way to create change, see what you would like to improve, and keep motivated. You can use a notepad for this, but a special journal, like this one, is fun.

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