Today, we are exploring what I call Your Fear List.

Because how you perceive and handle fear has everything to do with what kind of life you are currently living.

First off, living with a constant, nagging sense of fear stresses your mind and your body. For an interesting look at the biology of fear, check out this scientific article, published in Current Biology. For the purposes of this article, however, let’s use your weight as an example. Your body loves you so much. It senses your fear and wonders if something bad or stressful or even catastrophic is making you afraid. One of the ways the body protects you against any potential threat is with extra weight—I call this “safety weight.” This is stubborn, won’t-budge weight that your dear body refuses to let go of just in case an emergency looms near.

Fear also leads to unconscious, subtle (or not-so-subtle) self-sabotage. You say you want to be at your goal weight. You say you want to go for that promotion, lower your cholesterol, repair your relationship with a family member.  You say this, but these nagging fears of yours hold you back. They cause you to skip the morning pages, the daily exercise, the conversation with your boss or a loved one that can affect change. They lead you to the sofa, to the carton of Ben & Jerry’s, to health-sapping relationships, thoughts and behavior.

Enter Your Fear List: Get out a piece of paper and writing implement. List all of your fears. Definitely list the big ones. But also list the medium ones, the small ones, the insignificant ones. If you need to get a second (or third) sheet of paper, do so. Get every single thing you dread onto the page.

Explore this list. Make a commitment right this minute to tackle your fears. Each and every day. Start with the small fears. Each day, explore one, confront it, free yourself from it. The larger fears—such as fear of swimming or public speaking—may require several steps performed over several days or weeks, including lessons, professional help, and tons of practice.

You’ll find that as you move through your list you’ll begin to feel braver and braver. You’ll also feel lighter, wiser, more intuitive, more open, and (yes!) thinner and more attractive! You’ll find it easier to honor your commitments when you don’t have all that fear holding you back. You’ll also learn to respect fear for what it is: An evolutionary mechanism designed to keep you safe—and often stuck. This greatly diminishes the charge fear has on you.

Resources:

— Face Your Fears: A Proven Plan to Beat Anxiety, Panic, Phobias, and Obsessions, by David F. Tolin, offers a way for the perpetually fearful to find the peace necessary to create a comfortable life.

—  Love over Fear: Facing Monsters, Befriending Enemies, and Healing Our Polarized World (Moody Publishers), by Dan White Jr. Whether it’s the news, social media, or well-intentioned friends, we’re told daily to fear “others.” We fear strangers, neighbors, the other side of the aisle, even those who parent differently. And when we’re confronted with something that frightens us, our brain sees only two options: Run or Attack. But there is a third option.

— Fear (HarperOne), by Thich Nhat Hanh, explores the origins of our fears, illuminating a path to finding peace and freedom from anxiety and offering powerful tools to help us eradicate it from our lives

— Fear is Fuel: The Surprising Power to Help You Find Purpose, Passion and Performance (Rowman & Littlefield Publishers) by Patrick Sweeney II, explores fear’s positive side. Fear is Fuel discusses the underlying phenomenon that heightens awareness and optimizes physical performance, and can drive ambition, courage, and success. Harnessing fear can heighten emotional intelligence and bring success to every aspect of your life.

— Feel the Fear… And Do it Anyway (Ballentine Books), by Susan Jeffers, is a classic in the world of self-help. If you haven’t yet read it, pick up a copy! ADr. Susan Jeffers inspires us with dynamic techniques and profound concepts that have helped countless people grab hold of their fears and move forward with their lives.

As an Amazon Associate, StephaniePedersen.com may receive commissions for qualifying purchases made through links in this post.