I had to muster some courage to come back to this. Hello Thoughtstreets! I have dearly missed you.

In the short duration of not writing on my blog here, a lot took place in my life. That’s a story for another day. So what’s in it for today? Many things.

My life has been changed in some ways and in other ways, I have changed it. My mornings, day times, evenings and nights, weekdays and weekends, everything has a new face. While some changes cause me death every day, the latter ones (that I chose) give me a new life. I feel proud of myself, for the efforts that I put in, for the intentions that I set, for the kindness I choose, and the person I am becoming. The old Smita may have deleted these last three lines considering them boastful but the new Smita that I am today, she doesn’t shy away from crediting herself for the sweat she sheds every day.

I am shooting for the moon, in every single thing in my life and I am not afraid to admit that. I must love myself. You know why? Because I had no wish to live after last December. I wanted to quit my job, run away, and the worst of all was, I was not ready to feel okay. I wanted to be stuck in that zone and I am not ashamed to confess, it was comforting. The pain was more comforting than the thought that one day, maybe it will be slightly better. I never wanted to feel better. For those who do not know, no, I am not clinically depressed (luckily). I lost my dearest father on December 4, 2020 and something as heavy as the heaviest mountain on earth had been bearing down my chest, every second, for the longest time that I remember.

It wasn’t easy. But I am doing it. I understand the value of life and I know I am here to crush all my goals. I am here to achieve all that my father and I ever dreamt for me. I am just starting but this fire in my belly will never extinguish and I am going to live a high life. That’s a promise I make to myself, every day.

For now, I think it’s time to sleep. Tomorrow is another day full of kindness, love, opportunities, learnings, and laughter. I wish these for you, too.

Thank you for reading. This means a lot to me.

Thoughtstreets