One day at work, I told one of my coworkers that I needed to ‘whip myself into a frenzy of ambition’. She thought I said that I needed to ‘pee in the kitchen’. Naturally, I asked why on earth she thought I would say such a ridiculous thing. She simply shrugged and said that those wouldn’t have been the strangest words that had ever come out of my mouth. Have I mentioned that this particular coworker is a bit of a bitch?

The point that I was originally going to make was that it is a whole lot easier to imagine myself being a whirling dynamo of ambition that it is to actually become a whirling dynamo of ambition. In fact, for the past few years, it has been easier to imagine myself ‘peeing in the kitchen’ than it is to imagine myself having a few hours of pure ambition.

There was a time in my life that it was second nature to do ten things at once. I could talk on the phone, change a diaper, and mentally write a grocery list, all at the same time. Okay, so that’s actually only accomplishing three things at once. But that’s accomplishing two more things at one time than I can now.

Those were the days.

These days, any little excuse will justify taking a nap rather than getting something useful accomplished. Usually the excuse that I use for taking a nap is that I’m resting up so that when I awake I will be mentally and physically refreshed. I will have all kinds of energy and get all sorts of things done.

Another good excuse for a nap is that since I haven’t gotten around to making the bed yet, I may as well get a little more mileage out of it. I plan, of course, to make the bed when I wake up. Perhaps I will even wash all of the bedding! And I’ll vacuum the carpet! Yes, that’s what I’ll do!

But then I wake up and it’s really only a few hours until I’m going to bed for the night, so why waste the time and energy making the bed? And if I’m not going to bother making it, why wash the bedding? As for vacuuming? I’m just going to walk on it again, so I should save that chore for another day, like a day when I’m not planning to walk on the carpet. That leads to my bed. Where I like to nap. The last time I vacuumed my bedroom? What year is it?

It wasn’t easy to come to terms with the fact that I’ve become lazy. One day I finally had to say to myself, “Self, you’ve gotten lazy”. I would have argued against such a harsh condemnation of my character, but that would have cut into my nap time.

Speaking of which …