Look at them. Don’t you wish you had one? Even if you do have one, see how good they look piled up. It’s been out for over a year now, and in spite of my enemies’ best efforts it’s ticked over surprisingly well. This comeback was all a bit of a leap into the unknown, and I wasn’t sure anybody would remember me so it’s a relief to know that there are still some people out there with incredibly good taste: people like you. Business-wise I tried out something new too – a profit-sharing deal offered by Eye & Lightning Books, where you don’t get an advance but if the book shifts you get a much better royalty rate than a normal publisher would offer. It was all very experimental, but so far it’s worked – I’ve had my first cheque for it. [It’s almost enough to make you wonder why authors put up with the crumbs-under-the-table model that’s offered by most of the rest of the biz…] Call me a breadhead, but I like getting paid; not least because it helps to fund my debilitating addiction to Japanese detective novels, but also because it’s a palpable signal that there are still people out there who dig my trip, and after a pulverising few years that was a much needed morale boost. Big thanks to everyone who’s bought a copy, and who’s helped us get word out that it exists – you’re a true patron of the arts. And if you haven’t bought it yet, read on…

We still have a pallet of hardbacks to shift, to make way for a paperback edition which will hopefully be out at some point next year. Here’s where you come in: instead of sending them off to the mincer like a normal publisher would, we’re banging them out at a fiver a pop. Even with postage added it’ll be the same price as your average paperback. And if you’re overseas, even with international postage it’ll make it a slightly less intolerable price than it was before. This offer runs through December, and it’s while-stocks-last, so grab ’em while you can. It’s a superb illustrated edition that would be a credit to anyone’s bookshelf. If you bought it at full price, please don’t be aggrieved – some of the money will have gone towards my new dehumidifier and/or the latest Keigo Higashino novel, so you’ve secured your place in heaven. All you have to do is click here, and before you know it this glorious object will be yours to keep. Why not get two – one to read, and one for best? If you spend over £15 at their shop they throw in free UK postage too, so go crazy.

Thanks for putting up with this unseemly self-promotion. As a reward for your patience I’m going to get through an entire update without complaining about Private Eye or C*******e Books. Bollocks to them still, of course, but I’m not going in deep this time. Enjoy the respite, and have as excellent a festive season as you realistically can.

DR