Here at MP, we love reviews, good and bad. We like to see what people are thinking, and how they’re interpreting the filth we’re pumping out. There’s no criticism that particularly bothers us.

People read erotica for different reasons, and seek different types. Some want emotional closeness. Some want the sex to be powerful and seem real. Many want a good laugh at ridiculous concepts so they can giggle and pass things along to their friends. That’s us. We want to give you a boner, but also give you a laugh you can share with your girlfriends.

There’s a moment in Coach’s Assistant (pick it up for free!) in which the titular coach shaves an athlete’s pubes while he’s face up on a massage table and then brushes away the hair with a barber’s brush.

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If you give any of it much thought, it’s all ludicrous—but the fact that the coach has a barber’s brush in his athletic office is designed both to make you ask why but ultimately not care about the answer, because it’s fun.

The same with the verbiage. Some people want juices of love that flow together in a way that makes them imagine the fullness of sex. We write shameless stories about a coach’s giant piston slamming into a twenty-year-old balloon knot before busting a nut and unloading his population paste.

It’s simply a matter of taste. Everyone wants something different, and you know who you are. Either way, we like that you’re giving us a try, appreciate you reading, and hope you’re having fun with it - even if you’re having fun complaining about it.