This isn't what I thought 35 would look like.

I didn't realize that becoming a dad would be so important to me.

I didn't realize I had it within me to do all the things for my little boy that weren't done for me.

I didn't realize that wanting to give someone what I never had was actually what I'd want to do and not just some cliche saying that floats around.

I didn't realize that one little smile on my baby's face would be the only thing I ever want to pursue.

I didn't realize that my baby, Kai, would bring so much love and healing to my life.

I didn't realize that all of the pain and what felt like anti-progress of my past would transform me into the loving, caring, and present parent that I am.

I didn't realize that I had to know brokenness so that I could know fullness.

I didn't realize anything until I heard one little baby screaming in a delivery room.

This isn't what I though 35 would look like but I'm so glad that it does.