My recipe for grief soup is full of sorrow, a cup of joyful memories, three cups of peaceful silence, a dash of acceptance, a dash of denial and a pound of tears. 

The first element is sorrow which turns into sadness as I pour it into the pot. In a very slow cook, the sadness thickens as the pound of tears gets added to the mix causing it to boil. Then, a moment of steam clearing happens as I turn down the heat and relieve the pressure by taking off the lid. I breathe deeply and allow myself to feel the steam.   

And then as the tears dissolve a joyful memory is added. It goes into the pot and I laugh as I’m reminded that my grief soup doesn’t only contain sorrow, but it also contains joy. My heart is filled up thinking about how long I need to let the joy simmer. When the joy permeates the other elements, I add a dash of acceptance. 

Sometimes when I make the soup I overcook the sorrow and the sadness tastes overwhelming. To balance this out I over correct and add to much denial. Too many dashes of denial blunts the sorrow and makes the pound of tears seem like they are ridiculous to add. Denial is the element that causes a resistance to what is and blocks the flavor of acceptance.

After the joy is added, peaceful silence begins to pull all the elements together. Solidifying each and every element and allowing me to taste all of the ingredients.

If I took my grief to lunch I’d talk about all the elements of joy and sorrow and how they both belong in my grief soup.

Amy is an author, former Olympian and a person recovering from the recent loss of her dear mother. She’s writing for healing and to feel all the feelings. She hopes you’ll find one thing relatable in what she’s sharing.

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