Amy Gamble's Blog

I wanted to let you all know I’ve recently launched a video podcast called Champions of Resilience. It’s a transformative channel where we delve into the inspiring stories of individuals who have triumphed over adversity. On my web page you’ll find the links to my most recent episodes, a little bit about the show and why I created it.  

I’m featuring guests who’ve faced significant challenges, yet emerged stronger, achieving healing, wellness and a renewed zest for life.

Whether it’s overcoming personal trauma, battling mental health struggles, or navigating life-altering events, our champions share their authentic journey’s, offering hope, practical advice, and a testament to the human spirit’s incredible resilience.

For those of you who would like to follow my writing, I’ve moved over to substack and am writing about women’s sports and life lessons. Of course, there are articles that include mental health, as I’ll always write about mental health related topics. Here’s the link to my substack newsletter. Beyond the Arc: Women’s Sports & Life Lessons

I’ve really enjoyed interacting with all of you. I hope you will follow me over to my new locations.

Thanks for reading!

Amy Gamble

Have you ever struggled with constant ridiculing thoughts that re-played continuously in your mind? Do you focus a great deal of energy on beating yourself up for past mistakes? Have you ever been told, “You’re your own worst enemy?” 

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, then this article is for you.

 Self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and care. Consider three components. 1) Self-kindness means being warm towards ourselves rather than harshly self-critical; 2) Understanding we are part of a common humanity where we can recognize suffering and personal inadequacy are part of the shared human experience, which leads to less feelings of isolation; and 3) Using mindfulness in the context of balancing painful thoughts and feelings with awareness rather than over-identifying with them.

Here are a few reasons…

Our culture and society as a whole emphasize self-criticism and perfectionism, often viewing them as paths to success. The constant striving for reaching goals with unrelenting drive is not necessarily a bad thing, but this kind of pursuit can negatively impact our mental wellbeing without a healthy dose of self-compassion, by causing a loop of anxiety. The absence of self-compassion can make depressive symptoms worse, and in some cases, trigger depressive episodes.

We have to learn how to balance striving for excellence, while also giving ourselves a break. Because our culture doesn’t predominately focus on these things, it’s important to take a step back and self-reflect on the things we tell ourselves. I call this monitoring my self-talk. I intentionally pay attention to the things I tell myself, this way I can self-correct. 

Another reason why we aren’t naturally self-compassionate creatures is because some people believe self-compassion means being lazy or indulgent. This manifests its way into the belief that being hard on ourselves keeps us motivated and disciplined. 

I would argue that learning to practice self-compassion actually is more motivating. For example, learning to be kind to ourselves when we hesitate to get out of the gates and attempt to accomplish a goal, allows us to address the reasons why we might be slow to the start. But if we’re constantly stuck in a negative feedback loop, it will cause us to freeze and be further away from reaching our goals or achieving our dreams.

Past experiences can also undermine our ability to practice self-compassion. If you’ve grown up in a household where you were criticized frequently, it can play a significant factor in the things you tell yourself. Negative feedback and traumatic experiences condition us to internalize these external criticisms and without realizing it, our inner voice takes on a similar role. Traumatic experiences also take a huge dent out of our self-esteem and this often leads to a feeling of being unworthy of kindness and compassion.

The vast majority of my life I’ve been super hard on myself. My mother always told me I was a “perfectionist,” but for some reason I didn’t embrace that label. Then, finally one day I realized that perhaps she was right. It seemed like if I wasn’t actively pursuing some dream or goal, I wasn’t very nice to myself.

Looking back, I’d say this self-critical voice made many of my depressive episodes far worse. I had an aha moment when I was reading a book about negative self-talk playing a role in either triggering depressive symptoms or making a depressive episode worse. In that moment, I realized I needed to do something to change.

I ask myself, “Would you ever talk to a friend the way you are speaking to yourself?” My answer was a resounding, “No way!” I had the innate qualities of being kind to others, so I figured I could learn how to be kinder to myself. I would note, however, that I am a work in progress. Not perfect…but improving everyday.

The first step to combat anything is to become aware of what you are doing and then take some steps toward learning how to practice self-compassion. 

Here are three practical ways you can practice self-compassion:

Focus on Self-Kindness

I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to replace self-critical thoughts with encouraging and kind affirmations. I make a point to pay attention to my thoughts and without judging myself, I recognize the opportunity to change my thinking.

A simple practice can involve writing down three-five positive affirmations and repeating them out loud. For example, “I am strong. I am smart. I am capable.” Taking notice of whatever words, you put after “I am..” can help you retrain what can be somewhat of an automatic response of a self-critical voice.

Think of a way you’d show kindness to a friend. Do something nice for yourself. Something that makes you feel good. And take a moment to savor how that felt to take time out of your schedule and focus on you.

Journaling

I’m a writer, so obviously I believe in journaling. You don’t have to journal every single day for it to be a valuable tool. One thing you can do is write a compassionate letter to yourself. If you write that letter as if you were writing a compassionate letter to a friend, it can really be powerful.

It’s also helpful to record some of the reoccurring self-critical thoughts. By putting them on paper you can get to know them better. You can also have one column of a paper with a self-critical thought and the other side with information that refutes that negativity.

Journaling can also be used to write those positive affirmation statements. I’ve found a great deal of value going back and re-reading the statements I wrote.

Keeping a gratitude journal is also valuable. Noting the things, you’re grateful for shifts your mind from all the troubling things going on and focuses on positive things. When you change your thinking, you change your mood. Researchers have shown that people who write about gratitude are more optimistic and feel better about their lives in general.

Mindfulness

I’m a big proponent of mindfulness. It’s a big category, but I tend to focus on three main strategies: staying in the present moment, meditation and breathing. 

I’ve experienced the value of learning to stay in the present moment, as a way to shift away from anxiety ridden, worrying thoughts, to being fully present. It’s more than simply telling you to, “stay in the present moment.” There are guided meditations you can do that will teach you how to ground yourself in the moment. 

There are also many free guided meditations for self-compassion on YouTube. Here’s one I found helpful. Guided Meditation for Self-Compassion

Once you being implementing some of these tools, you will begin to see that you can learn to become more self-compassionate. 

Here are some additional resources to help you build self-compassion:

Books: Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff; The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher Gerber.

Online Course: Mindful Self-Compassion: An 8-week training program offered by the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.

Websites: Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristen Neff: Self-compassion website by Dr. Kristen Neff.

Podcasts: The Self-Compassion Podcast by Kristin Neff and Chris Gerber; 10% Happier with Dan Harris.

I can tell you I personally don’t have it all figured out. I continually work toward practicing self-compassion. It takes effort, but it’s totally worth the peace of mind I have come to embrace and love. Beinging kinder to myself has opened my eyes to the power of self-compassion.

What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

I love that I’ve always been compassionate of other people. I had to learn how to take a more tender hearted approach with myself. For years, coaches (I’m a 1988 Olympian) and even managers would tell me I was too hard on myself. This relentless pursuit of perfection ripped at my self-esteem and didn’t allow me to feel as confident. I wasn’t good at giving myself a break. Then, I learned to have a peace of mind and live a more fulfilling life of mental wellness, I had to learn how to be kind, gentle and forgiving of myself. It didn’t occur overnight, but eventually I turned self-compassion into one of my superpowers.

Taking Time to Heal

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post. Shortly after my mother passed away last September, I turned to writing as a way to cope with my grief. Then, I reverted to more mindless activities, like delivering for Door Dash. Of course, it wasn’t enough for me to simply dash a few times here and there. I had to strive to become a Top Dasher. (I think striving for excellence is the innate nature in me that made me an Olympian) 

In my quest to learn how to maximize my dashing efforts, the mindless activity I sought became a time for self-reflection, as driving has always been relatively therapeutic for me.

Taking time for self-reflection is extremely powerful and a part of striving for mental wellbeing. It’s not lost on me how blessed I am to have had the time to devote toward healing. In that time, I came to understand one of my go to coping strategies has always been to make myself busy and give myself a sense of purpose. One of the great benefits of dashing was the inherent need to focus on completing a task, while also having the time in between destinations to think, feel and synthesize all of it together.

I laughed. I cried. I talked to my mother often. I prayed. And slowly, I got stronger day by day. 

In between the dashing, the grieving and the raw and honest self-reflection, I came to know myself a lot better. I even began to appreciate all of my work over the years in mental health advocacy, creating awareness and helping people as they crossed my pathway. I had several opportunities over the past few months to continue reaching out and helping others through mental health coaching.

Having a Sense of Purpose Promotes Mental Wellbeing 

If you read stories about people who are happy, fulfilled and are living their best lives, they often talk about having a sense of purpose. One of the most devastating aspects of mental illness is the void it can create when and if we lose our sense of purpose. I’ve learned this lesson on multiple occasions throughout my life. 

Working with my book coach, I started a new project in January. I’ve had a dream for a very long time to write a non-fiction book. While it was extremely challenging to focus on writing, all the while dashing and grieving, I found it tremendously beneficial. The book is about overcoming adversity and building resilience. Two things I’m confident I know a great deal about. 

One of the chapters in the book is called, “Dreams, Goals and Achievable Wins!” Over the years I’ve learned from experience and from reading others’ stories who have overcome adversity that having a dream and pursuing it wholeheartedly, is one of the most healthy and empowering ways to lift our heads up from whatever adversity we are dealing with. 

In my experience, dealing with adversity takes a toll on mental wellbeing, whether you have a diagnosed mental health condition or not. Sometimes it’s all the little things that are impacted. For example, any adverse situation that interrupts your daily routine will have an effect on your mental wellbeing.

We are all creatures of habit. Structure, routine and habit allow us to have confidence and feel safe in our day to day lives. When that is interrupted it throws us off balance. 

A case in point is the severe disruption in our daily lives that was caused by the pandemic and the measures taken to keep us safe from mass spreading of the virus. But our routines, schedules, daily habits and lives were drastically interrupted and I believe we all are still recovering from those effects today.

Our collective consciousness has rightfully wanted to move on and forget COVID was ever a thing. But just because we don’t talk about it, doesn’t mean it didn’t have and in some cases still has a major impact on our wellbeing.

My suggestion to you is to ask yourself the question, “Do I have a sense of purpose?” In simple terms, “Do I have a reason to get out of bed in the morning?”

Is Adversity the Best Teacher?

I’ve heard people say, “Adversity is our greatest teacher.” I’d say I’ve for sure learned more from the tough things I’ve experienced. I think some of this is because we have a tendency to spend more time analyzing our difficulties than we do accentuate our positive experiences. This has a lot to do with how our brains are wired to deal with threats. There’s actually a great deal of neuroscience research that points to how our survival mechanism can actually be a thorn in the side of our mental wellbeing. It’s kind of twisted to know the very thing meant to protect us can also be harmful to us. 

The key is awareness and spending some time each day to self-reflect. It takes an effort. But there’s tremendous value in knowing thine self. Striving to find the balance between learning from the adversity we have to deal with and ruminating about it so much it becomes a detriment to our mental health.

Summary

I’ve learned in traveling through the grieving process that having a sense of purpose is one of the keys to maintaining mental wellbeing. Taking time to self-reflect and feel all the feelings helps the healing process. In the face of adversity, try digging deep to create a dream or hold onto a dream. This can be energizing and empowering. 

I hope you’ll spend a few moments to get to know yourself. You may be surprised at just how strong you really are. 

The post Embracing Adversity: A Teacher of Resilience and Healing appeared first on Shedding Light on Mental Health.

When I think of the holidays, I’m reminded of all the large family gatherings with lots of traditional fixings, laughter and cheer. Leading up to the big day, I remember the smell of cookies baking in the oven, while I sang along with my sister at the piano playing our favorite Christmas tunes.

A little over a week before Christmas my family would get together and celebrate my birthday. Yes, December was always an action packed month, mostly happy times, as it is for many people.

But this year the holiday season is arriving right at a time when two of my family members have passed away within the past few months. Losing a loved one is hard no matter when it happens. Picking up and trying to move forward with life is difficult without tossing in a holiday with so many traditions right in the middle of the early part of a grief process.

I have mixed emotions about the holiday season this year. It’s one of my favorite times of the year, and yet I’ll be without my beautiful mother for the first time in my life. I’m sad she’s not here and I miss her dearly.

And (not but) I still put up some Christmas decorations. At first, it felt strange to put them out and then I realized they made me feel good. The bright colors brought a smile to my face and the holiday music I played in the background reminded me of me good times.

Finding something that makes us feel good or brings some kind of joy during an otherwise sad time, is a reflection of resilience building. It’s taking something that could be overwhelmingly painful and without guilt or judgement, allowing ourselves to feel the happy memories along with the sadness that comes when we know our holiday season will never be the same again.

The ability to hold two opposing views in our minds at the same time is called cognitive dissonance. It’s possible to have joyful memories and deep sorrow all at the same time.

I’ve smiled when I’ve heard a favorite song and cried moments later when I acknowledged the hollow feeling of sorrow. I’ve made myself busy and I’ve sat with my grief. I’ve discovered over the years that feeling a wide range of emotions is one of the best types of self-care I can practice.

On social media I’ve noticed some posts that reminded others this was not a happy time for some. I acknowledge that is true. It made me feel sad for the person who posted it. And then, it made me feel sad for me too.

Sometimes it’s much easier to get locked in the “negative emotions.” Sadness, sorrow, pity, pain, hurt, etc. But there’s also another side to grief. Grief holds joyful memories too. And those joyful memories lift us up and help us get through times when all we want is to have our loved ones back for just one more day.

I can’t say this is an overall happy time for me. I don’t feel happy. But I do feel joyful in the many pleasant memories I have. I also feel sadness for the missing happy birthday voice who will not be singing this year. I feel sorrow for the faces that will be gone from our annual holiday celebration.

The holidays have a way of putting our losses under a microscope. It’s like zooming in on something with a giant sized magnifying glass. I’ve challenged myself to allow a wide range of emotions and to focus on not only the hole in my heart, but the many blessings I’m fortunate to have…the friends, acquaintances, family members who are all still here.

I want to wish all my readers a happy holiday season and a big Merry Christmas too! I hope your holidays are joyful, but if you experience sadness, grief or in general are stressed out, know that you’re not alone. Remember you have a foundation of resilience that can help you make it through no matter what emotions pop up.

Amy Gamble is a National Award winning Mental Health Advocate. She recently finished her second book, Unsilenced: A Memoir of Healing from Trauma.

The post The holidays are both joyful and sad appeared first on Shedding Light on Mental Health.

Tackling the taboo has been my passion, since I first began this blog ten years ago. I wanted to shed light on mental health. As I’ve learned over time mental health is broad topic. We can no longer unlink mental and physical health, they go hand and hand. Traumas we may have experienced tend to affect us on all levels – mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

As many of you who have followed my blog know, I’ve written a book called Unsilenced: A Memoir of Healing from Trauma. Some of you may not know exactly what trauma was that I’ve written about, so I want to be the first to tell you…I wrote about childhood sexual abuse and the implications it has had on me.

I wrote for the person sitting at home wondering why they still experience depression, after so many years of a traumatic event had occurred. I wrote for the person who may be early in their recovery journey and need a little inspiration to keep going. Knowing through sharing a story, that even in times of darkness there is a rainbow of hope to hold on to. I wrote for the person struggling with suicidal thoughts, who was a victim and told to “just get it over it.” If your reading this, I may have written for you.

In some of the research I did while writing my book, I found a shocking statistic that says, 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys are victims of childhood sexual abuse. The organization who I am quoting is called End 1 in 4. The name itself is a statistical representation of the average of girls and boys abused.

Victims of childhood sexual abuse often have many mental and physical health challenges, as a result of this kind of trauma. I have come to the realization the impact the abuse had on me was so significant it altered my life course, costing me literally and figuratively speaking on every level imaginable.

However, the title of this blog is really about the 42 million people who are survivors. We come from all walks of life. In every corner of the United States. The statistics become overwhelming when we look at the worldwide impact..millions upon millions of people have been sexually abused.

Statistics from the End 1 in 4 Organization tell us that 93% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by a family member, friend or someone known to the family. This statistic alone sheds light on the complicated nature of a victim coming forward to report the abuse.

Victims are often expected to shoulder the burden throughout their lives without ever speaking a word of the abuse again. Secrecy and silence only provides a safe haven for perpetrators and a shadow of shame for the victim.

I understand…talking about how we’ve been sexually abused is not comfortable, pleasant or soothing. It’s difficult, complicated and culturally taboo. And..the fact is not everyone wants to talk about it openly. Some people find putting it out of their minds is the best strategy for coping. I say, what works for you is most important. And know that if you have been a victim, struggling with symptoms of anxiety, depression, chronic pain, among many other mental and physical challenges, it may be a result of unresolved trauma.

A term I’ve researched recently is called Toxic Positivity. This is when mostly well-meaning people encourage us to look at the positive and ignore the negative effects. We ourselves, can also adopt toxic positivity. Only looking at the positive of a situation and attempting to discount the negative.

A healthy way to deal with unimaginable pain is to acknowledge the sad parts of our history. Telling ourselves “it’s not that bad,” and to just forget about it when we’re struggling with mental health symptoms, is probably a good time to seek professional help.

However, professionals are only one piece of the puzzle to reclaim mental and physical health. We have to seek out ways that we can learn to help ourselves. The first step is being kind to the inner child who experienced so much pain. Acceptance is a powerful salve for wounds and it allows us to release the past, without discounting how painful events may have effected us.

In the coming weeks and months, I’ll be writing about ways we can build on our resilience. In the meantime, I will say never give up hope. Healing is possible. Thriving is very likely. And if your struggling, you are not alone.

Here are some links for additional information:

End1in4Organization

Article on Toxic Positivity

The post Tackling the taboo…42 Million Survivors! appeared first on Shedding Light on Mental Health.

If you’ve been following my blog for any part of the past 10 years, you know I’ve written mostly about bipolar disorder, recovery and anxiety. One of my struggles I didn’t write much about was PTSD. I always felt like my journey with PTSD was very complicated and honestly there were some taboo topics I didn’t feel comfortable writing about… until this past year.

In January 2023, I began an 11 month journey to write a book about my experiences with mental health challenges. Almost everyday I wrote to finish a manuscript and ultimately had a book available on Amazon called Unsilenced: A Memoir of Healing from Trauma. I found the entire writing process to be unexpectantly be very empowering.

Finally, after all these years, I had spoken up. In my book I write, “My name is Amy Jean Gamble and I will speak my truth.” And that is what I did.

As I began writing I had found a Brene Brown quote that says, “One day you will tell your story of what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” It’s my hope that the readers know they are not alone and find some comfort in knowing someone else went through some serious stuff as a result of trauma. But in the end, even though so many bad things happened, recovery was real and possible.

Here’s an excerpt from my book: “I had to come to terms with each piece of my past. From the sexual assaults, which wreaked havoc with my life, to the interactions with the criminal justice system and a near death experience. One event was quite a bit to cope with, but layered together, it was a lot to process. I tended to focus on one small piece at a time. Healing and grieving weren’t a linear process. The memories ebbed and flowed. I researched and found many stories of people who had struggled. Their stories shined a light for me that gave me hope I could fully recover too.”

It’s my hope that the stories I share in Unsilenced will give hope to someone else too.

Unsilenced: A Memoir of Healing from Trauma is a deeply moving story of one woman’s journey through trauma’s unexpected, devastating effects and her ultimate recovery. Amy Gamble’s Story will leave the reader optimistic that even the darkest days can lead to bright outcomes.

The post Speaking up for Mental Health appeared first on Shedding Light on Mental Health.

More than 20 years ago, my family lost five close relatives within a two year period. I remember the feelings of being overwhelmed with grief. But having lived through that experience of compounding grief, I find myself in a very different position today as my family has had two losses in a matter of two months.

In October 2023, I took a class called Write Your Way Through Grief, as a way to help me navigate the recent loss of my mother. It was extremely therapeutic to write daily about grief, especially because as a culture it’s awkward and uncomfortable to talk about death and in general loss.

As I poured out my feelings, thoughts and emotions on the page, I noticed how sharing those things opened the window for others to share with me how they felt about experiencing loss. Writing opens the doors for grief to come through, whether your reading or writing.

A few days ago I lost my brother-in-law. His death was sudden and accidental, although he had been struggling with his health for over a year. The question that comes to my mind from an outside perspective is – How do you handle this much adversity all at one time? Most would agree two deaths of loved ones within two months is emotionally difficult to navigate.

My answer is noticing the feelings in the moment, not being afraid to face the pain and sadness and recognizing there will be times when it’s okay to numb yourself. Numbing is in fact a way of coping. As mentally healthy as I am, I too have moments when I have to detach and focus on what I have to do to get through my day. Compartmentalizing is a healthy way to deal with difficult circumstances.

As I have recently learned with the death of my mother, as cold as it sounds, life goes on. The world doesn’t stop when we lose a loved one. But sometimes it feels like it should stop. As if we who are experiencing loss need for others to take a moment and acknowledge what we are going through is difficult. Generally speaking, I think most people understand, because every single person has dealt with loss in some fashion.

Numbing emotions is a defense mechanism to uncomfortable and painful emotions. Grief is about as uncomfortable as you can get. Having multiple losses in such a short amount of time is like standing in the middle of a train track and hearing the whistle of a train coming right at you. All you can do in the moment is react in a way that helps you survive.

Someone had written a social media post about how much I’ve had to go through in a two year time period. The truth is I’ve dealt with so much adversity in my life that I’ve built up an incredible amount of resilience. The old adage that says, “That which doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger,” couldn’t be anymore true.

We cope and we deal with what’s in front of us, in the ways we have learned over time. Sometimes we make healthy choices and other times we lean on negative habits. As I’ve walked this pathway the past few months, I’ve chosen to take the healthy path. Has it been easy? No. There have been times when it would have been far easier to revert back into negative coping strategies. It turns out one of the benefits of having been through my own mental health challenges, is that I’ve examined ways in which to manage my mental health.

Life is tricky sometimes. Don’t feel as if you’re alone in the struggle. Everyone has some level of emotional difficulty in life, no matter what they have or what they don’t.

Writing has taught me much about myself, my history and my present. As I explored the deep levels within my own psyche, I’ve grown in my ability and compassion to understand others.

At the end of the day, if we live long enough we’ll be dealt cards that sometimes seem like we’re beat before the hand is over. The key is learning to navigate adversity, regardless of what life throws at you. Believe in yourself that you can make it through and know everything will work out in time.

Amy Gamble is a National Award winning Mental Health Advocate, former Olympian and author of the book Unsilenced: A Memoir of Healing from Trauma. (Available on Amazon November 30, 2023)

The post Writing my way through adversity appeared first on Shedding Light on Mental Health.

In 1981 the book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People was initially published. Since that time it has sold over four million copies. I think those sales numbers are proof the title resonated with many people. I would say unequivocally that everyone has had something or multiple things that are bad happen to them. Some of us have had multiple adverse childhood experiences and could have easily allowed ourselves to be defined by the traumatic events.

My premise is there is no question bad things happen. However, I can tell you if you’re reading these words then you have survived! This is the more than subtle shift in perhaps a long healing process. 

Revisiting traumatic events in therapy or even when triggered by some reminder can leave us stuck in a victim mode. Acknowledging we are a victim is one thing, but realizing we are a survivor shifts our minds to the fact we are not helpless or weak. We are strong and capable. No matter what we have been through we have in fact survived and in many cases learned how to thrive.

In recent years there’s been a major shift in bringing to the forefront trauma-informed approaches. Whether that’s in the classroom, in a therapy office, a workplace environment or just about anywhere really. The four R’s of a trauma informed approach are: realize, recognize, respond and resist re-traumatization. I believe we can benefit from self-reflection using a trauma-informed approach.

First, realize the prevalence of the trauma experienced. In other words, what was it and how often did some type of trauma occur. Secondly, recognize signs and symptoms we may be experiencing. Trauma effects mental, physical, and spiritual health. Third, have empathy for us. Be kind and gentle with self-talk. Fourth, and this is important, resist re-traumatization. 

The first step in coping with some type of traumatic event is in the acknowledgement of what happened wasn’t good and it probably has had some kind of effect. Recently I had taken a grief writing course (I lost my mother in September). One of the writing prompts was a reflection on where my grief story started. I came to realize my grief story mirrored my trauma history. It was in this very realization that I was better able to cope in the present. It did have an effect on me, making me a little tired and somewhat foggy. But I was able to bounce back quickly. 

When it comes to realizing things from the past which may have been traumatic, my philosophy has evolved into saying “the past is a place to visit, not to stay.” I realize, then I recognize how that trauma may have impacted me in the present. And then I respond, I take actions to move myself toward a different mindset. 

And above all I resist re-traumatizing myself. I’m very particular of what information I expose my brain to. One example is, I stopped watching much of the news. I realized it was so incredibly negative all the time. I simply didn’t want to be doused in the constant stream of fear inducing information. It’s not to say I’m not aware of what’s happening in the world, it simply means I choose not to focus on the many things I have absolutely no control over. I tend to focus on the things I can control, of which are few.

In my soon to be released book, Unsilenced: A Memoir of Healing from Trauma (You can preorder the Kindle version here) I tell my story of how I faced a great deal of trauma and was re-traumatized by therapy itself. In the past, it really frustrated me to know I sought help and the very help I received made my situation and overall life much worse. Even putting me in a life-threatening position on more than one occasion.

But the truth is I’ve come to realize that what helped me move forward in my life was to constantly check-in with what my thoughts were telling me. If I stayed stuck in the past, angry about clear injustices, and frustrated with an unaccountable mental health system, I would essentially keep re-traumatizing myself. Instead, I shifted my focus on how to take what I have learned and experienced and attempt to help others by shedding light on subjects and topics that inform, educate, and hopefully inspire.

Unfortunately, bad things do happen. But if I’m breathing, I have survived. And since I’ve survived, I can thrive. My mindset allows me to do just that. 

I encourage you to increase your awareness and reflect on your experiences with a focus on the fact that you have survived. Be kind to yourself. Shower yourself with empathy. And know that whatever happened to you, you are not alone!

The post Mindset is a powerful antidote to trauma appeared first on Shedding Light on Mental Health.

You’ve probably seen the stories about the homicidal man who killed 18 people in Maine and eventually took his own life. According to numerous media reports Robert Card was struggling with his mental health and hospitalized for one day in July. Card was a member of the army reserve and a trained marksman.

CNN reported that the army gave Card a referral to seek treatment for mental health, after it was reported he was “hearing voices” and had thoughts about “hurting other soldiers.”

In my view, a person with homicidal thoughts doesn’t simply need a referral. They need psychiatric inpatient treatment. Immediately. They should be kept inpatient until stabilized. Not released when insurance companies think they should be, but released when symptoms have resolved and thoughts have cleared.

And…

A person who experiences homicidal and suicidal thoughts should not be legally able to own or purchases firearms. In the throes of psychotic symptoms with specific thoughts of hurting other people or themselves, this makes a person a danger to themselves and others. I’m not sure what it’s going to take for “red flag” laws to become more prevalent.

Quite simply, a red flag law allows a note in the background check system on firearms to identify the person as having a mental health issue. The person who is flagged in the system will be unable to purchase a firearm. I don’t anyone who can honestly disagree that this is a bad idea. Does it bring to question privacy issues? Yes. But from a public safety standpoint, it is the right thing to do.

When I first heard about this shooting and details began to emerge, I was deeply saddened for all the victims and family members. I was also heavy hearted because this is not the first time something similar to this has happened.

Some of you may remember the Colorado movie theatre shooter, James Holmes. He killed 12 people and injured 70 others. People who were going to the movies for entertainment.

I read the entire transcript of that case and learned the psychiatrist James Holmes was seeing didn’t involuntarily commit him, when I he specifically told her he wanted to kill people.

I’ve taught hundreds of hours of classes on mental health and suicide prevention. The first thing I told my classes was to take people seriously when they actively say they want to harm themselves or others. It’s one thing for a layperson to have someone tell them they want to kill people, it’s another for this to be told to a mental health care professional.

If nothing else, it’s just common sense to make sure a person receives mental health treatment and pray it’s long enough treatment for a person’s mental health to be restored.

I do have to add that most people who experience psychotic symptoms and/or episodes are not violent. However, often times a person having a psychotic episode will intersect with law enforcement. I’m speaking from personal experience and my work as a mental health advocate.

Unfortunately, a great deal of tragic outcomes could be avoided with more common sense laws for involuntary commitment and for sure, red flag laws that keep guns out of the hands of people who should not have them.

Something has to change or we will continue to turn on the TV or scroll through our social media news feeds and find these stories of tragic outcomes.

I know there will be people who completely disagree with me on any restrictions to gun ownership. They are entitled to their opinion. However, I would argue they don’t have enough facts to make a legitimate argument against red flag laws.

The last thing I want to point out is the fact that the entire mental health treatment system is broken. There’s no accountability for providers on quality indicators. There’s rarely accountability on outcomes. And so many of these stories never make it into mainstream media. It makes me shudder to have a window into what a mess this system is.

My hope is by writing about the topic, I’ll shed some light in areas where there’s darkness. I’m holding onto hope that something will change for the better.

Amy is a national award winning Mental Health Advocate, a former Olympian and a person with lived experience.

The post Why we need red flag laws appeared first on Shedding Light on Mental Health.