Taking Time to Heal

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post. Shortly after my mother passed away last September, I turned to writing as a way to cope with my grief. Then, I reverted to more mindless activities, like delivering for Door Dash. Of course, it wasn’t enough for me to simply dash a few times here and there. I had to strive to become a Top Dasher. (I think striving for excellence is the innate nature in me that made me an Olympian) 

In my quest to learn how to maximize my dashing efforts, the mindless activity I sought became a time for self-reflection, as driving has always been relatively therapeutic for me.

Taking time for self-reflection is extremely powerful and a part of striving for mental wellbeing. It’s not lost on me how blessed I am to have had the time to devote toward healing. In that time, I came to understand one of my go to coping strategies has always been to make myself busy and give myself a sense of purpose. One of the great benefits of dashing was the inherent need to focus on completing a task, while also having the time in between destinations to think, feel and synthesize all of it together.

I laughed. I cried. I talked to my mother often. I prayed. And slowly, I got stronger day by day. 

In between the dashing, the grieving and the raw and honest self-reflection, I came to know myself a lot better. I even began to appreciate all of my work over the years in mental health advocacy, creating awareness and helping people as they crossed my pathway. I had several opportunities over the past few months to continue reaching out and helping others through mental health coaching.

Having a Sense of Purpose Promotes Mental Wellbeing 

If you read stories about people who are happy, fulfilled and are living their best lives, they often talk about having a sense of purpose. One of the most devastating aspects of mental illness is the void it can create when and if we lose our sense of purpose. I’ve learned this lesson on multiple occasions throughout my life. 

Working with my book coach, I started a new project in January. I’ve had a dream for a very long time to write a non-fiction book. While it was extremely challenging to focus on writing, all the while dashing and grieving, I found it tremendously beneficial. The book is about overcoming adversity and building resilience. Two things I’m confident I know a great deal about. 

One of the chapters in the book is called, “Dreams, Goals and Achievable Wins!” Over the years I’ve learned from experience and from reading others’ stories who have overcome adversity that having a dream and pursuing it wholeheartedly, is one of the most healthy and empowering ways to lift our heads up from whatever adversity we are dealing with. 

In my experience, dealing with adversity takes a toll on mental wellbeing, whether you have a diagnosed mental health condition or not. Sometimes it’s all the little things that are impacted. For example, any adverse situation that interrupts your daily routine will have an effect on your mental wellbeing.

We are all creatures of habit. Structure, routine and habit allow us to have confidence and feel safe in our day to day lives. When that is interrupted it throws us off balance. 

A case in point is the severe disruption in our daily lives that was caused by the pandemic and the measures taken to keep us safe from mass spreading of the virus. But our routines, schedules, daily habits and lives were drastically interrupted and I believe we all are still recovering from those effects today.

Our collective consciousness has rightfully wanted to move on and forget COVID was ever a thing. But just because we don’t talk about it, doesn’t mean it didn’t have and in some cases still has a major impact on our wellbeing.

My suggestion to you is to ask yourself the question, “Do I have a sense of purpose?” In simple terms, “Do I have a reason to get out of bed in the morning?”

Is Adversity the Best Teacher?

I’ve heard people say, “Adversity is our greatest teacher.” I’d say I’ve for sure learned more from the tough things I’ve experienced. I think some of this is because we have a tendency to spend more time analyzing our difficulties than we do accentuate our positive experiences. This has a lot to do with how our brains are wired to deal with threats. There’s actually a great deal of neuroscience research that points to how our survival mechanism can actually be a thorn in the side of our mental wellbeing. It’s kind of twisted to know the very thing meant to protect us can also be harmful to us. 

The key is awareness and spending some time each day to self-reflect. It takes an effort. But there’s tremendous value in knowing thine self. Striving to find the balance between learning from the adversity we have to deal with and ruminating about it so much it becomes a detriment to our mental health.

Summary

I’ve learned in traveling through the grieving process that having a sense of purpose is one of the keys to maintaining mental wellbeing. Taking time to self-reflect and feel all the feelings helps the healing process. In the face of adversity, try digging deep to create a dream or hold onto a dream. This can be energizing and empowering. 

I hope you’ll spend a few moments to get to know yourself. You may be surprised at just how strong you really are. 

The post Embracing Adversity: A Teacher of Resilience and Healing appeared first on Shedding Light on Mental Health.