/*! elementor - v3.18.0 - 08-12-2023 */.elementor-heading-title{padding:0;margin:0;line-height:1}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title[class*=elementor-size-]>a{color:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-small{font-size:15px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-medium{font-size:19px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-large{font-size:29px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xl{font-size:39px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xxl{font-size:59px}Should You Trust Your First Impressions? /*! elementor - v3.18.0 - 08-12-2023 */.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}

Should you trust your first impressions? This is a question I’ve asked myself many times and have discussed often with coworkers and family.

As a child abuse survivor, I developed a high sense of intuition about people. I became an empath. I could quickly sense if strangers were good or a threat.

Hi, this is Kurt B. Ellis, an award-winning author who self-publishes with Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing. 

Stay tuned, and let me share some of my experiences with first impressions.

When I Got it Right

My highly developed sense of intuition about people has, for the most part, served me well throughout life.

I have often benefited from trusting first impressions in my private and professional life.

I would say that my success record was spot on. I usually got it right around 97% of the time.

I could meet people, size them up in less than five minutes, and know if they were good.

I knew, with a high degree of confidence, if they were good for me or my profession.

I became so good at it in my last job that other hiring managers would have me meet prospective candidates and give them feedback about their potential hire. Often, the profession was not even related to mine. I was wanted for my viewpoint.

When I Got it Wrong

About 3% of the time, my sense of intuition did not serve me well. And for the most part, it was when I did not follow my head or was influenced by others.

I would later look back and kick myself for not following my first impressions.

This happened in a couple of short-term relationships. I saw red flags and early warning signs within just a few minutes of meeting that person, but went against my better judgment. And I paid a hefty emotional price until I ended the toxic relationship.

This happened more often in my professional life, especially around hiring new staff.

I hired one young man to work in my department because we were short-staffed, over-logged, overworked, and desperate to fill the position. Yet, my first impression told me he was not a good fit. Within less than three months, he became an emotional employee trainwreck.

On another occasion, I was asked to interview a group of candidates for a VP position.

One of the candidates was highly charismatic with a strong likability factor. He was smooth and a great talker. He misled the other interviewers.

He came across to me, however, quite differently. I saw danger in the first impression. I immediately picked up on gaps in his employment, and he struggled to explain. I sensed he was hiding something. I had a gut feeling that he was not a good fit.

When it came time to hire, I was overruled even after expressing my concerns, and the candidate was hired. Within a year, he was fired for unscrupulous business practices and arrested for embezzling over $100,000 from my employer.

My viewpoint about new hires was never questioned again.

As a child abuse survivor, I learned early on to trust first impressions and not allow others to change my mind. I have shared experiences with first impressions in my award-winning novel.

My Award-Winning Novel

My award-winning novel’s title is “Boy in the Barn: Journey of Triumph Over Horrific Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and PTSD.” It’s an inspiring LGBTQIA+ coming-of-age story about hope, courage, and the resilience of the human spirit.

My novel is for sale on Amazon in Kindle, paperback, and audiobook form. The audiobook is also distributed on Audible and iTunes. 

Thank You for Your Time

Thank you for your time today. Also, click on the links below and see my published books. Like my video? Hit the subscribe button and give me a thumbs up.

And don’t forget that your feedback is always greatly valued and much appreciated. I enjoy hearing from you. So please leave your comments below, and I will respond to you as soon as possible.

Have a wonderful day!

Award Finalist: 2023 global book award /*! elementor - v3.18.0 - 08-12-2023 */.elementor-widget-image{text-align:center}.elementor-widget-image a{display:inline-block}.elementor-widget-image a img[src$=".svg"]{width:48px}.elementor-widget-image img{vertical-align:middle;display:inline-block}

Featuring our medal winners and finalists in each of their categories, the Global Book Awards aim to recognize talented authors that have not received the recognition they deserve in self-publishing.

In this modern age of publishing, books need to be appraised not only by their content and writing style, but also by the way they present and market themselves to the prospective buyer, whether that is in the good ratings it has on important stores like Amazon, its book cover and description, or the number of reviews it has collected. They must also appeal to new readers, so part of the evaluation included a survey asking avid readers to select the top five books they enjoyed the most.

The awards are grouped by category and divided into Gold, Silver, Bronze, and Award Finalists. We congratulate the winners once again and encourage readers to try out their books. Hello Kurt. Congratulations! We are pleased to confirm your book Boy in the Barn won a medal in this year’s Global Book Awards.

Announced on Sept. 6, 2023, Boy in the Barn: Journey of Triumph Over Horrific Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and PTSD was AWARD FINALIST in the

My Website and Book Links Website: https://kurt-b-ellis.com

BOY IN THE BARN: JOURNEY OF TRIUMPH OVER HORRIFIC CHILD ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE, AND PTSD

Kindle: https://kurt-b-ellis.com/bibjtohcasaptsd-k Paperback: https://kurt-b-ellis.com/bibjtohcasaptsd-p Audiobook: https://kurt-b-ellis.com/bibjtohcasaptsd-a

NEW PANGAEA - UTOPIA OF REVENGE: A RIGID DYSTOPIAN SOCIETY IN A POST-APOCALYPTIC WORLD

Kindle: https://kurt-b-ellis.com/npurrdspaw-k Paperback: https://kurt-b-ellis.com/npurrdspaw-p Audiobook: https://kurt-b-ellis.com/npurrdspaw-a

NEW PANGAEA - TEST OF SISTERHOOD: SHORT STORY - OVERCOMING ARROGANCE WITH SISTER'S LOVE

Kindle: https://kurt-b-ellis.com/nptsssoasl-k Paperback: https://kurt-b-ellis.com/nptsssoasl-p Audiobook: https://kurt-b-ellis.com/nptsssoasl-a Related Blogs and Resources 1in6.org Childhood Sexual Abuse & Assault Lawyers How to More Effectively Prevent Child Sexual Abuse Keith's Story | RAINN Letting Go Shame About Childhood Sexual Abuse Male Survivor Empowerment Blog Sexual Healing Counseling The Long-Term Harmful Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse The Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse Trauma: Childhood Sexual Abuse Reviews of my favorite books If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood by Gregg Olsen

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


A Captivating True Crime Story at Its Best!

This is an incredible true crime story of how an intensely sadistic woman cruelly manipulates her daughters, husbands, stepmother, nephew, friends, co-workers, and so on. Her prey is anyone she meets and can pull into her web of lies, deceit, and coercion. She's even directly involved in murders but always tries to pin them on someone else. She's the master manipulator. She knows no limit to the horrid things she tries to get people to do. When you think it's awful, just blink, and it gets worse. This book was a roller coaster ride with multiple characters and layers of plots and subplots. It was a captivating reveal in the mind of a maniacal, manipulative, self-serving criminal. I found it hard to put down. Another winner by Gregg Olsen!



View all my reviews
Coreyography by Corey Feldman

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


A Gut-Wrenching Expose of Corey Feldman’s Life!

As a childhood sexual abuse victim, I had mixed feelings about reading this book. I did not grow up in show biz or during the Coreys’ generation, yet I found many parallels with my childhood and life. This book was a gut-wrenching expose of Corey Feldman’s life. He does not hold back. He does not paint Hollywood or show business with sunshine, instead tells it like it was and gives the reader a glimpse of the manipulated life that child actors live, manipulation by parents, family and friends, producers, and directors. He reveals his struggles with drug abuse and his journey to lifelong recovery. He is careful, however, not to delve too deeply into his sexual abuse. He lightly discusses his abuse and that of the deceased Corey Haim. This was a well-written memoir, a tell-all I found hard to put down. And I was amazed in the end by his mature perspective of life. And how he was able to find solace and show forgiveness, especially to his reckless parents. Job well done, Corey Feldman!


View all my reviews The Lookback Window by Kyle Dillon Hertz

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


A Masterfully Written Novel!

As a childhood sexual abuse victim by male abusers, I agreed to review this book with feelings of reserved curiosity. Nevertheless, I was quickly impressed with the writer’s style. Hertz demonstrates a mastery of English with his colorful use of words to set the theme and plot and convey his characters’ thoughts and feelings.

Hertz takes you on the painful journey of Dylan, the main character, to find peace with his traumatic past of horrific childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a duplicitous boyfriend who pimped him out to a group of pedophiles. In addition, this boyfriend introduced him to a world of severe drug use and sex addiction. Dylan struggles through it into adulthood, making many mistakes while trying to get justice against his abusers. Yet the clock is ticking, with the statute of limitations against crimes committed many years before. Ultimately, Dylan obtains much-needed evidence to cinch his case with the FBI.

This was a book that I found hard to put down and compelled to keep reading. As a sexual abuse victim, I empathized with Dylan, understood his many struggles, and wanted justice for his abusers. I loved this novel until the end, and I’m sure you will too.

I received an ARC of the Kindle and voluntarily submitted this review.



View all my reviews
The Deviant by Adam Sommers

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Mesmerizing Until the Last Page!

As a male sexual abuse victim of male abusers, I had ambivalent feelings about reading this book by Adam Sommers. But I was intrigued to read this story about male sexual abuse victims of a female abuser. This twisted narration does not disappoint. Sommers lays out the journey of an extremely wealthy woman who uses her position in life to take advantage of and sexually victimize her male employees. The characters were well-developed, and the story was spellbinding. I was mesmerized until the last page.



View all my reviews
I Know Where You Live by Gregg Olsen

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Disturbing and Intense!

I was reeled in by Gregg Olsen’s hook in the first chapter. And I didn’t want to stop reading until the end. This was a disturbing story and intense to read. Olsen used his platform to bring to light the common problem of the long-lasting effects of child sexual abuse and how it impacts families for a lifetime. I loved how Olsen headed up chapters with different characters' views. It helped me to keep track of all the main- and subplots. Amazingly, this book had an unexpected twist at the end with one of its sub-characters. It created an ending I did not expect. An engaging thriller to read, for sure!



View all my reviews
Fear Collector by Gregg Olsen

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Intoxicating “Who Done It”

I describe this book as an intoxicating “who done it.” Olsen masterfully pulls you in with a series of unresolved murders of young women in Tacoma, WA. Some subplots steer you in one direction, making you think you’ve resolved the murder mysteries. Yet, it is not until the last chapters that the real murderer is revealed, a person unsuspected from the beginning. Once I got into it, this book was hard to put down. A captivating thriller to the last page!



View all my reviews
Paint by Murders by Amanda Jaeger

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Mesmerized Until the End!

I was pleasantly surprised to read this thriller by Amanda Jaeger. I am not interested in art or paintings, so I started this book with ambivalent feelings. But Jaeger masterfully uses this backdrop to draw the reader in and hold their attention. Once I started reading, I didn’t want to stop until I finished; I was mesmerized until the end. Jaeger ends her book on a cliffhanger, and it begs for a sequel. Dive in and hold on! You will not be disappointed.

I received an ARC of this book and voluntarily submitted this review.



View all my reviews
Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Written With Poetic Color

As a southerner, I read this book with initial mixed feelings, only to find myself drawn to it in the middle and couldn’t put it down. Owens does a magnificent job of writing with colorful, almost poetic, imagery of the North Carolina coastline depicting a time during the 1900s when the south transitioned from old to new. Linking nature to human frailty, this is a captivating murder mystery with a surprise at the end that shows all is not as it appears. An intriguingly entertaining book to read.



View all my reviews
Mandate Thirteen by Joseph J. Dowling

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


An Exciting Dystopian Thriller

I was pleasantly surprised to read this dystopian thriller by Joseph Dowling. Dowling takes you along the perilous journey of Michael Randall and his daughter, Hope, to escape their rigidly controlled English government. A country where thirteen-year-old girls are forced to submit to fertility tests for government-run baby factories. She finds refuge in Scotland with her father’s brother. Yet, it is unclear what will happen to Michael. This book is ripe for a sequel. Jump in! I’m sure you’ll enjoy the ride. You will not be disappointed.

I received an ARC of this book and voluntarily submitted this review.



View all my reviews
For the Audio Version

https://kurt-b-ellis.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Abuse-Book-Podcast-172.mp3

For the Video Version /*! elementor - v3.18.0 - 08-12-2023 */.elementor-widget-video .elementor-widget-container{overflow:hidden;transform:translateZ(0)}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-wrapper{aspect-ratio:var(--video-aspect-ratio)}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-wrapper iframe,.elementor-widget-video .elementor-wrapper video{height:100%;width:100%;display:flex;border:none;background-color:#000}@supports not (aspect-ratio:1/1){.elementor-widget-video .elementor-wrapper{position:relative;overflow:hidden;height:0;padding-bottom:calc(100% / var(--video-aspect-ratio))}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-wrapper iframe,.elementor-widget-video .elementor-wrapper video{position:absolute;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;left:0}}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-open-inline .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay{position:absolute;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;left:0;background-size:cover;background-position:50%}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay{cursor:pointer;text-align:center}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay:hover .elementor-custom-embed-play i{opacity:1}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay img{display:block;width:100%;aspect-ratio:var(--video-aspect-ratio);-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover;-o-object-position:center center;object-position:center center}@supports not (aspect-ratio:1/1){.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay{position:relative;overflow:hidden;height:0;padding-bottom:calc(100% / var(--video-aspect-ratio))}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay img{position:absolute;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;left:0}}.elementor-widget-video .e-hosted-video .elementor-video{-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover}.e-con-inner>.elementor-widget-video,.e-con>.elementor-widget-video{width:var(--container-widget-width);--flex-grow:var(--container-widget-flex-grow)} Social Media /*! elementor - v3.18.0 - 08-12-2023 */.elementor-widget-social-icons.elementor-grid-0 .elementor-widget-container,.elementor-widget-social-icons.elementor-grid-mobile-0 .elementor-widget-container,.elementor-widget-social-icons.elementor-grid-tablet-0 .elementor-widget-container{line-height:1;font-size:0}.elementor-widget-social-icons:not(.elementor-grid-0):not(.elementor-grid-tablet-0):not(.elementor-grid-mobile-0) .elementor-grid{display:inline-grid}.elementor-widget-social-icons .elementor-grid{grid-column-gap:var(--grid-column-gap,5px);grid-row-gap:var(--grid-row-gap,5px);grid-template-columns:var(--grid-template-columns);justify-content:var(--justify-content,center);justify-items:var(--justify-content,center)}.elementor-icon.elementor-social-icon{font-size:var(--icon-size,25px);line-height:var(--icon-size,25px);width:calc(var(--icon-size, 25px) + 2 * var(--icon-padding, .5em));height:calc(var(--icon-size, 25px) + 2 * var(--icon-padding, .5em))}.elementor-social-icon{--e-social-icon-icon-color:#fff;display:inline-flex;background-color:#69727d;align-items:center;justify-content:center;text-align:center;cursor:pointer}.elementor-social-icon i{color:var(--e-social-icon-icon-color)}.elementor-social-icon svg{fill:var(--e-social-icon-icon-color)}.elementor-social-icon:last-child{margin:0}.elementor-social-icon:hover{opacity:.9;color:#fff}.elementor-social-icon-android{background-color:#a4c639}.elementor-social-icon-apple{background-color:#999}.elementor-social-icon-behance{background-color:#1769ff}.elementor-social-icon-bitbucket{background-color:#205081}.elementor-social-icon-codepen{background-color:#000}.elementor-social-icon-delicious{background-color:#39f}.elementor-social-icon-deviantart{background-color:#05cc47}.elementor-social-icon-digg{background-color:#005be2}.elementor-social-icon-dribbble{background-color:#ea4c89}.elementor-social-icon-elementor{background-color:#d30c5c}.elementor-social-icon-envelope{background-color:#ea4335}.elementor-social-icon-facebook,.elementor-social-icon-facebook-f{background-color:#3b5998}.elementor-social-icon-flickr{background-color:#0063dc}.elementor-social-icon-foursquare{background-color:#2d5be3}.elementor-social-icon-free-code-camp,.elementor-social-icon-freecodecamp{background-color:#006400}.elementor-social-icon-github{background-color:#333}.elementor-social-icon-gitlab{background-color:#e24329}.elementor-social-icon-globe{background-color:#69727d}.elementor-social-icon-google-plus,.elementor-social-icon-google-plus-g{background-color:#dd4b39}.elementor-social-icon-houzz{background-color:#7ac142}.elementor-social-icon-instagram{background-color:#262626}.elementor-social-icon-jsfiddle{background-color:#487aa2}.elementor-social-icon-link{background-color:#818a91}.elementor-social-icon-linkedin,.elementor-social-icon-linkedin-in{background-color:#0077b5}.elementor-social-icon-medium{background-color:#00ab6b}.elementor-social-icon-meetup{background-color:#ec1c40}.elementor-social-icon-mixcloud{background-color:#273a4b}.elementor-social-icon-odnoklassniki{background-color:#f4731c}.elementor-social-icon-pinterest{background-color:#bd081c}.elementor-social-icon-product-hunt{background-color:#da552f}.elementor-social-icon-reddit{background-color:#ff4500}.elementor-social-icon-rss{background-color:#f26522}.elementor-social-icon-shopping-cart{background-color:#4caf50}.elementor-social-icon-skype{background-color:#00aff0}.elementor-social-icon-slideshare{background-color:#0077b5}.elementor-social-icon-snapchat{background-color:#fffc00}.elementor-social-icon-soundcloud{background-color:#f80}.elementor-social-icon-spotify{background-color:#2ebd59}.elementor-social-icon-stack-overflow{background-color:#fe7a15}.elementor-social-icon-steam{background-color:#00adee}.elementor-social-icon-stumbleupon{background-color:#eb4924}.elementor-social-icon-telegram{background-color:#2ca5e0}.elementor-social-icon-thumb-tack{background-color:#1aa1d8}.elementor-social-icon-tripadvisor{background-color:#589442}.elementor-social-icon-tumblr{background-color:#35465c}.elementor-social-icon-twitch{background-color:#6441a5}.elementor-social-icon-twitter{background-color:#1da1f2}.elementor-social-icon-viber{background-color:#665cac}.elementor-social-icon-vimeo{background-color:#1ab7ea}.elementor-social-icon-vk{background-color:#45668e}.elementor-social-icon-weibo{background-color:#dd2430}.elementor-social-icon-weixin{background-color:#31a918}.elementor-social-icon-whatsapp{background-color:#25d366}.elementor-social-icon-wordpress{background-color:#21759b}.elementor-social-icon-xing{background-color:#026466}.elementor-social-icon-yelp{background-color:#af0606}.elementor-social-icon-youtube{background-color:#cd201f}.elementor-social-icon-500px{background-color:#0099e5}.elementor-shape-rounded .elementor-icon.elementor-social-icon{border-radius:10%}.elementor-shape-circle .elementor-icon.elementor-social-icon{border-radius:50%} Facebook Goodreads Instagram Spotify Pinterest Tiktok Twitter Youtube

The post Should You Trust Your First Impressions? – Boy in the Barn: Journey of Triumph Over Horrific Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and PTSD first appeared on Kurt B. Ellis.