Have you ever known that something is wrong, but had no idea how to fix it?

This could be something as simple as having no idea how to set the clock on your microwave. This could be something as embarrassing as not knowing how to get your financial life in order. This could be something as personal as struggling to move past a hurt from your childhood.

In many cases, if we’re uncertain how to initiate the change that we want, we ask a friend for help or maybe google to find a list of potential professionals. But what if the change you want to make involves your emotional health? How do you go about dealing with your depression, anxiety, mood swings, and more?

When we’re in a difficult place emotionally, it can be difficult to parse through the steps we need to take. Furthermore, you may not know what those steps are to begin with. With that in mind, I wanted to write up this post regarding five conversations you should have if you want to get well. Please note, that not every conversation will apply to every person. In that case, feel free to get the dopamine fix by crossing it off of your to-do list. However, I hope that this list will serve as a starting point on your way to health, hope, and healing.

CONVERSATION 1: YOUR DOCTOR

Many adults only visit the doctor when the discomfort of their sickness outweighs the discomfort of the co-pay. Some do not even have a primary care physician (PCP). The anxiety of sitting in front of a doctor (commonly referred to as “White Coat Syndrome“) is a reality to many that keeps them from ever approaching a doctor’s office. Others, despise the idea of being on medication and thus don’t want to take this initial step.

I understand all of those concerns.

However, imagine you were having issues with your balance. This would be exacerbated dramatically if you were someone who wore roller skates everywhere. You would want to take off the roller skates before you try to figure out your balance issues.

Visiting a PCP is a good first step to stabilizing your emotional self SO THAT you can have the best opportunity to heal long-term.

CONVERSATION 2: YOUR PARTNER

I recognize that not everyone reading this may have a partner, so feel free to skip this if it does not apply. However, if your partner is someone you feel you can safely talk to, discuss how you are taking steps to get help. This will help them be more cognizant of changes from you, or even (heaven forbid) if you have some sort of negative reaction to medication.

CONVERSATION 3: A THERAPIST

I recognize this piece may feel overwhelming because of the variety of therapists, counselors, and more you can find with a quick internet search. This may be the place you need the help of your partner (see conversation 2), or a trusted friend (see conversation 5). Some shortcuts to help you on your way may include:

Asking a trusted friend or your pastor for a recommendationChecking to see what therapists are accepted by your insuranceTake a look at the following resources to help you in your search (shout out to my wife for sharing these):Mental Health MatchPsychology TodayTherapy Den

If you do not have a therapist, begin looking for one. And please, PLEASE, do not give up if your first appointment is not a home run. Sometimes you do not “click” with a therapist. Other times, rapport will only be built over time. This is a long-term effort, keep that in mind.

CONVERSATION 4: SOMEONE IN YOUR CHURCH LEADERSHIP

This is specific to those in ministry contexts. No, you do not need to unpack all of your dirty laundry with them. However, a simple conversation of, “Hey…I just want you to know I am working with a therapist. I wanted you to be aware in case someone in the church sees me and asks questions.”

One disclaimer: I say this knowing that stigmas toward mental health are a very real thing. If there is no one in your church leadership you feel that you can trust, there may be bigger questions about your long-term relationship with this congregation that you need to consider.

CONVERSATION 5: A TRUSTED FRIEND

Who has earned the right to speak into your life? Who loves you enough to be honest with you, even if it will hurt?

This final conversation is meant to help build your team for long-term health and well-being. If you know this person loves you and has your best interests in mind, have a conversation about how you are trying to address your mental health.

CONCLUSION

There is a great deal more that could be said, but I hope this list acts as a map to help you take steps toward long-term health and healing.

For mental health resources in your area visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

If you know of someone who struggles with suicidal thoughts, encourage them to text HOME to 741741.
A trained volunteer at the National Crisis Text Line will anonymously help navigate whatever crisis they are going through.