They “the experts”, who ever they may be, say that it takes 90 days to make or break a habit. I have found, from personal experience, that it takes a solid year and a hard core committed year of focus, work and unwavering determination to make or break a habit. Does this sound miserable? It’s not if it’s changing your life for the better and you mix in lots of your favorites and make it fun. I love changing my life and transforming myself often. I’m still Kate at the core but with upgrads. I find it to be an exciting process. Along with hard, frustrating, weepy, and exhausting at times.

I was not raised to play at anything. I was raised old school; blood, sweat, and tears. Now, that was how you got somewhere. But I never got anywhere with overwork and crying about it. I usually just quit after spinning my wheels for long periods of time.

I have found that having fun, playing and being creative is the way to go. Rewards work great with the kids and myself. Celebrating victories no matter how small is encouraging.

I’ve changed so many habits over the decades. Quit drinking and smoking fifteen years ago, changed my whole life, became a mother. Learned how to write books, learned how to be frugal, learned how to buy our first house late in life. Then another house. Sold a house. Learned how to garden. Learned how to do a YouTube channel. Learned how to decorate a whole house with an almost zero budget. I have mastered it all. Yes!

I haven’t soared to the top of the charts with any of these categories. However, I’ve had a good time and I’m still enjoying my life immensely.

This year I set out to get fit and slim. I set out to change my writing from lifestyle books to fiction. I also wanted to get my home dialed in with sweet and cozy. I had big plans for the year. I was wanting to change up my life a bit. I was feeling bored and wilty. Shaking things up is necessary for a mother and writer at home. I’ll tell you though, I don’t get too bored. I’m always learning and exploring. Always finding something new to get into.

I’ve also released some of my extra work back into the wild and freed myself of the over exertion and constant wheel of burn out. In making space I had to fill it quickly. When you empty a space in your life, such as letting go of toxic relationships, work that is draining you, dropping a hustle…you need to fill the space with something good and positive.

I let go of some stuff and replaced it with rest and then I started missing things that I had let go of for a good reason, things I had pondered for seasons so it wasn’t anything out of the blue or impulsive. But I had too much empty space and it filled with missing people and things, hustles. I was getting bored and wanted to go back. I wanted the familiar and easy. But once you go forward on this new path, it’s dangerous to go back. The Universe isn’t always gentle. Sometimes, it gets tired of your back and forth and will bitch slap you.

I am a little afraid of the Universe because I know better. When you have spent years learning, seeking, finding, exploring, working on, and honing your spiritual life, you know better than to make a solid, well thought out decision and then try to turn around and go back. You can’t. You’ll get slapped. Hard.

So, I got busy playing and decorating. I painted four rooms. Only have one more to go. I need to repaint the doors, base boards, window and door frames. I’m not excited about that part, but it keeps me busy between writing. It helps me think. The end result is a nicer looking home, and I don’t return to old ways.

I sat down and wrote some books this year as I set out to do. I added weights to my routine when we hauled home a free Marcy Home Gym. Filling in spaces with good, positive stuff.

I watch movies that inspire me. Documentaries. I watch over and over until the message has been sketched on my memory. Sometimes, it’s just a scene or a few lines that relate to my metamorphism and move my soul. Parts in books have changed big areas in my life. Watching movies about writers inspires me. Watching movies about people changing their lives inspire me. Cast Away with Tom Hanks inspired me. He was a FedEx trouble shooter, flying here and there, always on the clock and fixing situations. His plane crashes leaving him stranded on an island. He is there for years and has to slow down and pay attention to survive. He has to be active and thoughtful, and fit to make it all those years and finally escape. He lives with just himself for four years. Imagine todays social media addicted society stranded with just themselves for four years.

I have no desire to be forced to survive on an island to learn how to pay attention and be slow and quiet again. But I see that this time for this character changed him in very good ways that gave him his soul back.

What I take away is that I can create some of that in my life without the stranded and survival part. I can stop being so busy and controlling and turn to books and music instead of schedules and internet. I can spend more time walking in nature and not thinking, just being in the forest. I don’t have to talk all the time. Maybe spend more time pondering and less time yapping.

Maybe everyone of us should have a year to withdraw from the world and it’s mad pace. I love talking to people at the grocery store, but I love being home too. Sometimes, on the trails I meet someone and we strike up a conversation and walk slowly together. That happened the other day. She was a grandmother and we talked about gardening and strolled along like old friends. I can be very personal and social. I am also very protective of my families space and time. I enjoy just being with my family. I may seem introverted or hermity. It’s a good, safe place to be.

All it takes is a bummer interaction, a downer phone call or seeing something upsetting on the internet and I can lose days being sad or angry about the situation. I have lost my peace and it is usually something I have no control over. It’s best to just mind our business.

There is another thing I want to change for me and my family. For years, I’ve been frugal. We have gotten far. We have worked hard. But that seems to be all we do these days. We used to go to farms in the Fall for the kids to pick pumpkins, buy boxes of apples, and ride tractors. We used to visit family in the bay area. We used to do things, but since the quarantine, we got used to being at home and working hard on the house and gardens.

You know what they say, all work and no play.

We have worked for years on two different houses. It has paid off in many ways. But Bali and I have been working hard almost daily, definitely all weekends were filled with saws and hammers, me cooking up a storm to feed carpenters. We have been painting, gardening, planting trees, building, repairing, earning, saving. We have a little fun here and there, but we are talking about a crunch wrap taco at Taco Bell once a month or a burger at our favorite local place, every other month. We are talking about one trip to Oregon in five years. And Oregon is only five hours from us. We are talking a movie a season or twice a year.

Life’s too short. There is a time to be hard core frugal and there is a time to find ways to have more fun. We go out of our way to save money, why don’t go out of our way to afford good times? This is what I asked myself.

I feel like I keep trying to master frugality at new levels, but I’m getting weird about it. I find myself sounding like that old parent that shouts out the price of everything when the kids are being rough or wasteful. “Do you know how much that cost?” “Do you know how long you would have to work to earn that?” It’s annoying. It’s one thing to teach kids about money and time, which I do, but now I’m just naggy and uptight about it.

I fixed that by booking a cruise. Off season, of course. Better rates and less crowded. You can be frugal and fun. And the more money smart you are, the more fun you can afford.

We were going to put the money to the mortgage, but I’m done with always being responsible. I have never felt so good being so frivolous! Putting the money toward a luxury cruise for two weeks has breathed new life into me! I’m working out more, choosing fruit and making healthy popcorn over ‘treats’. I’m planning the next book and will try and write the first draft before we take off. I planning and in bliss. It’s months away but the planning is a very delicious part I don’t want to miss.

It seems since making this decision, the Universe has been very generous. We stocked our pantry for free and I found free blouses my size. They are lovely and in good condition. Perfect for a cruise.

I truly believe, from years of experimenting, that focusing on more play, rest and fun actually ups our productivity and creative ability. I learned of this in Essentialism by Greg McKeown. They tried it at large companies and the ones that had more play and rest had happier, more productive workers.

I used to listen to Abraham Hicks all the time and Abraham would say to follow the good feelings, follow the bliss. Bliss and doing what makes us happy leads to good things and more flow. I know this is true. We absolutely do harvest what we sow. Good and bad. Sweet and sour. So, focus on the good and sweet. You’ll see more of it.

It’s so important to surround oneself with good people, good things. Light the candles, get out the nice dish ware and good linen. Take the cruise. Live and thrive for this is our life to enjoy right now. We can keep reinventing ourselves and keep changing things around. I feel that it’s very healthy for us to do this. It’s fulfilling.

I made this dream board sometime before this new year began. I have done everything on this board. I’ve spruced up the house with paint and thrifted or free décor. I’ve gone deep into health food and I am devoted to a daily fitness routine. We are traveling soon and it’s something we will be doing yearly. I’m writing again and reading plenty after a lull.

I am a big believer in dream boards combined with a lot of work to also propel the dreams forward. Work and dreaming makes wishes come true.

I made a dream board before we moved up here, to my dream town. I threw it away recently because it’s been years since we made it up here and most of the stuff on the board happened. We have big gardens and I’m canning again, this was all in the dream board. That and writing, books, decorating and living in the forest. All of it is real now. I dreamt, made boards, listened to music and talks that kept me inspired and happy. I worked daily to make it all happen. I have a partner to help me and that is a good thing. When two people agree and have the same mission, amazing stuff happens and fast.

If we can stay in a stream of peaceful optimism, we can make it happen. We have to work hard as well. I love working hard toward a dream. The planning and setting up, the knowing our life will change completely soon.

I made this one recently as well. It’s mostly about where we live and enjoying it to the fullest. We are fortunate in that we have lots of trails, little farms, and charming historic towns to investigate. We can play tourist anytime within an hour to hour and half of our house. We have gone for hikes, bike rides, the river and we have our own pool to have fun. We have not yet gone camping. Things on this board have also happened.

And we are only a few months into this month.

What am I saying here? Dream big but play big too and take it bite by little step by small goal. Paint a new life or better life and then plant the seeds and tend to it, watch it grow. It doesn’t have to be much to make days sweeter.