You never forget your first crush, for me it was Anthony Edwards’ Goose in Top Gun.  While the majority of the population swooned over Maverick I was #CampGoose

Imagine my horror when he was brutally ejected head first into the canopy!  For years I held Tom Cruise accountable – I genuinely boycotted all his movies with the exception of Interview with a Vampire and Collateral (I vehemently deny Jerry Maguire is a ‘Cruise’ vehicle; the stars were Cuba Gooding Jnr and that cute little kid who was in Stuart Little).  However, after decades of stalwart resentment, I accepted perhaps it was time to seek closure and so I watched Top Gun 2 and found Tom Cruise whispering talk to me Gooseto be an unexpected reminder of just how profound an impact voicing your worries can be.

Growing up in the 80s kids were expected to be seen not heard; and when it came to my inner demons I took that literally and bound myself in silence until eventually it became suffocating.

Heavy hearts like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water – Christopher Horley

Eventually I reached a point where my mental health became too much to bear and while medication enabled me to better function, talking to a counsellor was truly a healing prescription which allowed me to breathe again.

While it’s been over a decade since I first nervously sat in my then therapist’s waiting room, the impact of talking therapy has never left me and has become a ritual of sorts.  After all, the one constant companion with us in this journey is ourselves, so a healthy internal dialogue is crucial:

Self-talk is the most powerful form of communication because it either empowers you or it defeats you – Emma Gee

The one thing I’ve found is that it’s far easier to make regular spaces for reflection now than to have to rebuild yourself later.  So why not make the time when you can, it doesn’t matter whether it’s a gap between school runs, or five minutes in the car sat on the drive, our lives are threaded with routine from the moment we wake up and brush our teeth, and while positive self-talk may not keep plaque at bay but it may well keep anxiety away.

Journaling has also become an outlet of sorts, both for positive affirmations and also for letting go and remembering only to hold onto the things that matter.  When I’m in the grips of imposter syndrome I like to speed write my negative thoughts, returning to themlater in the day when normal service has resumed and I can challenge them with rationale and reason.

However you move forward do it with more compassion for yourself than you had before and be your own wingman.