So now that my book has been out for a few months, many members of my family have been able to read it. While I was nervous to release my work into the world, I was most nervous for family and friends closest to me to read it--particularly my family.

Why?

Because then they would discover that I had been lying to them for a long time. No, not actively lying...really...but definitely hiding something big from them for a long time.

I was afraid that they would be angry at me, or feel betrayed. I was worried. So when reactions started pouring in from those I love most, I held my breath.

And it turned out to be ok.

I had a lot of people saying something along the lines of, "I was with you during this time--I had no idea you were unhappy." Or, "Wow, I can't believe I didn't realize that something was wrong?" Or even, "How did I not know?"

My response?

"I'm a good actor."

No one got angry with me. They just marveled at my ability to mask, and later were saddened that I bore that burden in silence.

It is a freedom to be able to bring to light something that for so long you've kept in the shadows. Working to keep something hidden is exhausting, making sure sure the cracks don't show is a full-time job.

I'm not hiding anymore.