1st Blog Bampire Back story
MIND NIGHT BLUE: 1st Night with a Bampire
L.B. Harpdog
Blog: 1st Entry
Many people want to know how creatures came about and stories are written. Even the very ideas of how they came to be. Well, I'm going to share with you so very private, intimate, and vulnerable parts of my story.
Where do I begin: It started I had everything, except another heart to carry me when I fell. I was always everyone's rock, their shield, and their comforter. But after years of caring for everyone, I was still alone. My motto in life was: As long as I can help you escape your pain, if only for a minute, then I was fulfilled.
Everything started falling around me. I realized that nothing I did mattered. I was only one man and I was alone. I heard a woman in a video ask us men: Who do you talk to when you are at your lowest? Every man that answered had the same answer: NO ONE! Because, no one cares until they no longer receive anything from us or that we are no longer around.
That hit me hard. So I tried to reach out to my wife and share with her my emptiness. I failed miserably. I didn't communicate it properly, because I felt that when I showed weakness, then she had lost faith in me. So I would work at least 12 hours a day to avoid my loneliness. I worked for a few years, until one day I had lost my reason to live.
I came to the conclusion that my family would be fine without me if I replaced myself with passive income. So i set out to make that happen I had 5 years until my deadline. The day I would depart from this world.
I bumped up my working hours from 12 to 16 and rarely spoke to my wife or kids. I was a, Financial Ghost.
Four years and one month and counting, I joined an online gaming war group. It made those 11 months fly by quickly and enjoyed wonderful people. So with 30 days left, I had started to say my goodbyes online. I was my typical joking self. But one woman noticed me, my pain, and my loneliness. Because was me just female.
Palmyra was from Berlin Germany. She stopped and inquired more about me leaving. She asked: "How long i would be gone?" I told her: I'm not coming back." She dug deeper and asked: "Why? Is everything ok?" I told her, "It will be in two weeks." She asked, "Where are you going?" I told her, "I'm going to finally rest and let go." For some reason, she completely understood and begged me, "Please stay a little longer online with me." I thought, 'Okay, I can give her another week, I got two left'
Those two weeks something happened: She opened me up and got me talking. She broke the strong front that I shared with everyone and got me talking. I shared with her my plan and told her: "I can finally let go. I'm soooo very tired." She texted to me the watery eyed emoji, and said that If I were gone that she would miss me.
After she said that I broke down and cried for the first time in years. I had a video chat and met her and cried in front of her. Years of pain and concerns poured out as frustration and anger.
With years of marriage, my heart only started beating with another woman. But I had one dark secret, a secret that would have her pull away from me. So I hid that secret from her. We both knew we were married, and we both had families. But I wanted her and had to push her away, because a dead man can't let go if his heart is still alive and connected to another.
In the next post I'll share what that secret was. My eyes are too blurry to focus. My tears are telling me to stop for now.
Have you ever had an experience like this? What would you do in my situation? I would love to hear your thoughts.
MIND NIGHT BLUE: 1st Night with a Bampire
L.B. Harpdog
Blog: 1st Entry
Many people want to know how creatures came about and stories are written. Even the very ideas of how they came to be. Well, I'm going to share with you so very private, intimate, and vulnerable parts of my story.
Where do I begin: It started I had everything, except another heart to carry me when I fell. I was always everyone's rock, their shield, and their comforter. But after years of caring for everyone, I was still alone. My motto in life was: As long as I can help you escape your pain, if only for a minute, then I was fulfilled.
Everything started falling around me. I realized that nothing I did mattered. I was only one man and I was alone. I heard a woman in a video ask us men: Who do you talk to when you are at your lowest? Every man that answered had the same answer: NO ONE! Because, no one cares until they no longer receive anything from us or that we are no longer around.
That hit me hard. So I tried to reach out to my wife and share with her my emptiness. I failed miserably. I didn't communicate it properly, because I felt that when I showed weakness, then she had lost faith in me. So I would work at least 12 hours a day to avoid my loneliness. I worked for a few years, until one day I had lost my reason to live.
I came to the conclusion that my family would be fine without me if I replaced myself with passive income. So i set out to make that happen I had 5 years until my deadline. The day I would depart from this world.
I bumped up my working hours from 12 to 16 and rarely spoke to my wife or kids. I was a, Financial Ghost.
Four years and one month and counting, I joined an online gaming war group. It made those 11 months fly by quickly and enjoyed wonderful people. So with 30 days left, I had started to say my goodbyes online. I was my typical joking self. But one woman noticed me, my pain, and my loneliness. Because was me just female.
Palmyra was from Berlin Germany. She stopped and inquired more about me leaving. She asked: "How long i would be gone?" I told her: I'm not coming back." She dug deeper and asked: "Why? Is everything ok?" I told her, "It will be in two weeks." She asked, "Where are you going?" I told her, "I'm going to finally rest and let go." For some reason, she completely understood and begged me, "Please stay a little longer online with me." I thought, 'Okay, I can give her another week, I got two left'
Those two weeks something happened: She opened me up and got me talking. She broke the strong front that I shared with everyone and got me talking. I shared with her my plan and told her: "I can finally let go. I'm soooo very tired." She texted to me the watery eyed emoji, and said that If I were gone that she would miss me.
After she said that I broke down and cried for the first time in years. I had a video chat and met her and cried in front of her. Years of pain and concerns poured out as frustration and anger.
With years of marriage, my heart only started beating with another woman. But I had one dark secret, a secret that would have her pull away from me. So I hid that secret from her. We both knew we were married, and we both had families. But I wanted her and had to push her away, because a dead man can't let go if his heart is still alive and connected to another.
In the next post I'll share what that secret was. My eyes are too blurry to focus. My tears are telling me to stop for now.
Have you ever had an experience like this? What would you do in my situation? I would love to hear your thoughts.
MIND NIGHT BLUE: 1st Night with a Bampire
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