Bamp Blog 3st Entry: 250308

I started to write an erotic story that bled my pain on to the page that I didn’t know I had. I had written a few chapters until I cried and had to walk away from it for a bit. WALLS AROUND MY HEART as what I named it. If you liked 9 ½ Weeks, then you would definitely enjoy that story.

Let’s say at one time, I would have considered sharing Palmyra with other people. But because I loved her, I knew I didn’t want any other man or woman to touch her. You could say I was her Xaiden and she was my Violet from the Fourth Wing story.

So I changed it so that a red headed lady was being put into very erotic situations to satisfy her curiosity as to what a man would have set up for her. But all I thought about was her, Palmyra. I heard that when a man falls in love, that no other woman that he wants. I felt that first hand. My heart actually felt happy when we were together at heart.

My time away from her, even though I pushed her away, made me love her more. Doesn’t time supposed to heal all wounds, or at least make it hurt less? Well everyday I think about her. One second I smile, and then laugh, the cry knowing that I truly fell in love…. Once and I may never hear her voice.

So I took all of that pain, hurt, and regret wrapped it into one story. A series actually called my Bampire series. I was able to write everything I wish I would have said to her. I know I did the right thing by pushing her away so that she hated me. But I saved two families even though I stopped living.

I put all of that into a story so erotic, I guess it rivals porn. 80% of the people who read the first book never reached the best part. That’s ok. Because I sent it to an avid reader and she was not the target market reader of my Paranormal Vampire Erotica Story. She was hooked and invested beyond belief.

The book was going to be originally named QUESTIONS. But then I came up with the name with another up and coming writer name Alessa Barns/Silver Taraus. MIND NIGHT BLUE came to be. The book was originally one book called: MIND NIGHT BLUE 3 Nights with a Bampire. But due to the obscene amount of sex, I turned them into: MIND NIGHT BLUE 1st Night, 2nd Nights, & 3rd Night with a Bampire. This allowed people to taste the life of a Bampire in smaller bites. But again, once a person makes it to the second book, they become hooked on the storyline.

I had erased all of my texts, pictures, and information about Palmyra and placed them on a thumb drive and returned them to her. I am not the kind of person to use past texts to blackmail anyone. I needed her to know that. I promised her that I wouldn’t reveal her face to anyone just because we no longer speak. I erased everything about her off of my computer. But I discovered a copy of my texts that I had sent to a ghost writer to turn it into a story that miserably failed. I re-downloaded it and reread it for a couple of months. I cried because I wondered if she ever truly loved me, or just loved the way I loved her. Like Teddy Swims sang in his song: Some Things I’ll Never Know.

I found this online German writing platform and starting writing my stories. Would you like to know what it’s called? Stay tune for the next blog.