Do you know when to walk away?
This is a difficult question that most people struggle to answer. In the past, I have answered it generally in a few different ways:
I have accomplished as much as I can reasonably accomplish.The leadership ROI has gotten too low (i.e. too much is required to get things done).The gap between authority and responsibility has grown too large.As you can see, there is overlap across those answers. I acknowledge that there are lots of other reasons to step away that are not captured in those answers. I am talking about the situation where corporatism has creeped in too far.
Recently, I was asked the question again in a more specific way. It helped me articulate a better answer that I would like to share. I was asked, “As a servant leader, how can you walk away without feeling like you have abandoned your team?”
If you are a servant leader, you strive to lead in a certain way. You believe that your team is always your #1 priority. How is that manifested?
Ideally, you have articulated your leadership model in explicit and simple terms. As you might know, I strongly believe that those who strive to lead should develop an explicit and simple leadership model (one of the key topics of my book “Strategic Pause”). This leadership model contains your principles and methods of leadership, your leadership OS. They are your leadership “what” and “how”. You can call them your leadership values.
Since your leadership principles and methods are explicitly and simply defined, you are aware when you are not acting in accordance with them. In other words, you know when you are compromising your leadership values.
If you are increasingly required to act outside of your leadership values, you may cross the threshold where you are no longer a servant leader. Remember, you identified those values as requirements for being a servant leader. If you stay and continue to violate those values, you transform from being a servant leader to being part of the problem.
I know that is a pointed statement. I am being somewhat hyperbolic to make the point. If you are not able to lead in the manner that you wish to lead, you might not be in the right environment. It might be time to consider stepping away.
I would like to clarify that the leadership values threshold is a subjective spectrum. No servant leader can live by 100% of their leadership model 100% the time. That utopia does not exist. Instead, the servant leader pragmatically leads by focusing on the principles and/or methods that make the most impact in that particular environment. The question is, how small a leadership impact can you tolerate? Be aware that your rationalization engine might try to get you to accept smaller and smaller impacts.
The discussion above is what I call the “FROM”. If you cannot lead via your leadership values, then you are not in the right place. However, the next step is not to walk away.
The next step is to define your “TO”. You know it is time to go, but where are you going? Yes, the “FROM” is very frustrating and your decision to leave has been made. Stop rehashing your present situation and work on articulating your desired future situation.
Taking this approach allows you to flip to a positive from a negative perspective. Instead of being frustrated by today, you find yourself getting excited by tomorrow. When you do officially step away, you are happily sharing where you are headed versus why you started looking.
Have you defined your leadership values? Do you have an explicit and simple personal leadership model? Are you aware when you are being asked to violate your model? Do you know when to walk away? Do you know which direction you will be going?
Thank you for reading my leadership blog post. I hope you found it interesting and thought provoking.
Check out “Strategic Pause” on Amazon. Follow me on X (@DonThinks).
© 2025 Don Graumann. All Rights Reserved. Other than personal sharing, please do not redistribute without permission.
