When You Disconnect From the Source
Dear Readers,
I do not have words to explain the suffering as well as growth over the last one year.
A family member passed away without any warnings or even a slice of a hint. It’s about to be a year now and the pain felt insurmountable at times. I was angry. I was confused. And I wondered how did this even happen. How is this kind of suffering even possible? There are times I thought I would never be able to recover from the shock, the mental turmoil, the despair, the sadness I felt when I looked at every other person in the room mourning and trying to make sense of everything. I wanted to eradicate everyone’s pain in a minute like we do within our coaching space, but that’s not how life works.
Some journeys need to be traversed fully no matter how hard they seem to be. You can’t take a private jet to the destination. You have to go through the climb.
For a few months, I felt disconnected from the source. My faith was shaken.
But the thing is -
You may give up on God.
But God doesn’t give up on you.
Replace the word God with any other word or entity you revere - the Universe, a mentor, a guide, an ancestor.
And one fine day, I heard back from whatever I was avoiding. I can’t explain this in words.
And hence, today I write you this poem:
Something happens when you forget
there’s always divine intelligence into play-
Your heart grows heavier each passing day.
It’s the misery you thought that would never happen to you -
the misery breaks your entitlement to find its way.
Life humbles you down - relationships pull you aside.
Sadness engulfs you - they say this is what is real life.
You forget to keep God in your equations -
Every conversation with yourself turns out to be endless negotiations.
You forget to pause and breathe -
To sit quietly and look within.
Heavy is your heart and mind -
Betrayed by blind faith in the divine.
And then one fine day, without prior notice,
and even amidst a sea of people,
You still hear a voice that pours light
And lifts your melancholy like a tiny pebble.
”No one told you happiness would be served on a plate
And that life would be devoid of all kinds of trouble.”
“I did so much for you and this is how you treat me?”, you scream.
“I never told you to do all that to begin with,” someone speaks .
“It’s a thankless world indeed,” you sigh…
*
And yet someone whispers in your ear, “So why even try?”
*
And suddenly it dawns on you again.
No one promised you there won’t be any rain.
And so you continue gardening without the promise of a mystical land -
and remember, on most days, to keep divine intervention in your plan.
You choose your actions and you chose your life.
You forgive, you let go, and keep the unseen in your mind.
Your heart feels a little lighter,
You stop begging in your prayer.
Gratitude buds from the seed of grief,
You accept all that your life could give.
And maybe, just maybe,
the Universe is making it
as easy as it could be.
- a rendezvous with the unseen
April 2024-2025
With Love,
Sanhita Baruah
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